I'm gonna try a Steins;Gate 0 video

Time to treat this like a personal blog again:

I've been doing a lot of thinking, attending a lot of video editing class, drinking a lot of vodka and playing a lot of games. Basically everything but actually make youtube videos. 

I've tried putting up sticky notes with inspirational quotes from artists I respect, reminders to be productive and take my damn vitamins, but I still haven't done anything cool. 

I've felt vicariously accomplished watching videos from Michael Reeves, William Osman, and even today I was impressed at the output of Moonshine Animations.
One part of that that really hit me hard was being surprised at the length of their stop motion videos, then seeing that it took them 10 days to do. I've probably spent that long on Tetris over the past few months, why haven't I done any videos??

The first small rush of almost-real accomplishment I felt was when I set out to finally complete Steins;Gate 0. I first started by buying it for my friend on his Vita in return for him lending it to me, but that was years and years ago. When it finally came out on Steam, I played a bit but never got that far. I ended up retreading the same ending I'd already done on the vita so the whole experience felt a bit deflated. When it came out as a show I had another kick to finish it, but made the mistake of watching the show in parallel, leading to some truly immersive Reading Steiner confusion of big reveals being spoiled or un-spoiled, neither of which I could really remember is true.
Over the course of a few months I slowly ramped up and down my involvement. I wrote down plot points and timelines on the back of LCBO receipts, then recorded every action I took, then organized it all in a OneNote document with branching paths and everything. In fact, the whole reason I started using sticky notes was because I was particularly struck with a poignant line from the game. I even attempted a terrible drawing of the character saying it.

As cheesy as it sounds, that game really resonated with me. Okabe is dwelling on the past but stuck doing nothing. Any feeling of forward momentum is short-lived and even ends in "canonical" failure because of the different endings.
I'm stuck trying to start up again, with my insistence of doing things on my own. I want to make all the models instead of ripping them, even if that amount of effort is so big I give up before even getting anywhere. But Okabe keeps trying again and again. Dozens, hundreds, thousands, millions of times, and that mirrors my playing experience. As awkward as self-insert characters in games full of waifus are, they work for a reason. I'll just focus on the "motivation" part tho ;)

I also really like the game's opening song and video, and when my brain was making these connections I was imagining how I could work this dumb personal story into it. There's a lot of imagery of old vs new, so I could do some cool stuff with having the old ripped models vs newly made ones. There's a lot of abstract text, I could put in my chuunibyou rants about motivation. I could work in some vocaloid harmony. I can do lots of really cool stuff.

I hope all this excitement lasts. I'm gonna start working on Amadeus. It's gonna be a whole moonbase video. And after that, hopefully I can use that experience to finish some other videos like Triple Baka.

El. Psy. Kongroo.

Don't worry, I'm already cringing at this too.