When Should A Man Start A Family & Get Married?

I'm going to explain when I believe is the best time for a man to start a family and get married.

1. When he has reached a point where he can genuinely handle the idea of never ever sleeping or having sexual temptations with other women.

A man should not start a family until he is 100% ready for the commitment and not out of fear of being alone. 

If you're still fantasising about other women or losing sleep over what you're missing out on, you're not ready. 

Starting a family means prioritising your partner and kids above all else. It requires a level of dedication and self-control that can't be half-hearted. 

If you’re not fully prepared to embrace that, then wait until you are. Do yourself and potential future family a favour—make sure you're truly ready to leave your single life behind.

You don’t want to bring the added stress of stepping out and sneaking out of your relationship.

Cheating creates A LOT of unnecessary drama, guilt, and distrust, which can destroy the foundation of your family. 

Life is already a challenge with work, business, inflation, cost of living. 

If you're sneaking around, you're not committed, and that's unfair to everyone involved. Be honest with yourself and your partner; a stable, trusting relationship is crucial for a healthy family life.

If you have not reached a point where you are content with being with one woman forever, you’re better off casually dating around.

Dating around honestly + casually is not cheating on someone who believes they are in a committed and serious relationship with you.

2. When he has met a woman who looks up to him and views him as an alpha male.

A man should never start a family with a woman who doesn’t respect him, look up to him, or genuinely view him as an alpha male. 

I hate the term ‘alpha male,’ but I’ve had to use it in this context to illustrate the type of respect he should be expecting, assuming he is doing his role as a man (protecting and providing).

A man should never start a family with a woman who doesn’t respect him, look up to him, or genuinely view him as an alpha male. 

Respect is the cornerstone of any lasting relationship, and without it, you’re building a house on sand.

If she doesn’t look up to you or see you as a strong, reliable leader, you’re setting yourself up for endless conflicts and dissatisfaction. She needs to see you as someone who can protect and provide, someone who has his life together and can be the backbone of the family. 

Without that fundamental respect and admiration, the relationship will crumble under the weight of unmet expectations and constant power struggles. 

Also, if you’re like me and don’t see yourself starting a family or getting married until you’re MUCH older, then at that stage, you’re better off being with an attractive younger woman who views you more as a provider (but still respects you) rather than a woman who is average looking or unattractive but views you as more of an alpha and has a ‘burning desire’ for you.

Attraction for us men is really important, and compromising on this because you want her to love you ‘for you’ will lead to resentment in the long term. Let’s keep it real—I’m ALL FOR age gap dating, but I know a hot 25-35 year old woman isn’t going to be with an older man in his 50s JUST because of ‘burning desire.’ 🤣

Hell, nowadays hot girls aren’t even getting with guys in their own age bracket just for ‘burning desire.’ 🤣

This doesn’t mean younger women in their 20s and 30s don’t find older guys attractive. 

If a guy dresses well, uses the right health/fitness supplements, keeps in great shape, and looks good ‘for his age,’ then yes, she might think he’s a really handsome or attractive older gentleman. But a big reason she is onto him is because of his ability to provide her with a very comfortable lifestyle.

I personally don’t see myself starting a family until my 40s or 50s. So this will be the case for someone like me. I’ll probably start a family with a girl in her mid-20s or 30s who views me as handsome, respects me, and is around mainly because of my ability to provide.

Shit, by that time some of you reading this will have grandkids.

But who knows, as of right now, I am casually dating around. So I can be saying all this and end up starting a family in three weeks' time. Life is funny like that.

But as of right now, that’s how I see things happening.

This can also apply to guys who are not considered to be ‘attractive’ by society’s standards. If a guy is not attractive, but he has lots of success and money and wants a pretty girl, its possible but he must understand that she may genuinely see him as a cool and interesting guy but mainly loves him for his ability to provide rather than ‘burning desire’ that has her dripping wet every time she sees him.

Yes it’s possible for a woman to be deep in love and attached to these type of guys even tho they are not the most appealing to the eye.

Remember, there are no perfect scenarios in life, only tradeoffs. 

And I don’t see why everyone makes this out to be such a massive deal, relationships are transactional anyways.

Sh’s getting provision out of the guy and the guy gets her youth. He gets the feeling of a big ego walking around the city with a pretty girl on his arm. 

This is quite normal in most cultures around the world. It’s just a strange concept for people in the western society to fully accept / understand it.

3. When He Has Found a Woman Who Doesn’t Have Toxic, Narcissistic, or Vindictive Personality Traits

When you are dating, pay attention to her behaviours. 

Yes, in the beginning, people can hide who they truly are, presenting their best selves. But usually, after the first three months, their real self starts to reveal itself. 

This could be good. This could be bad.

Look at how she communicates with you when things don’t go her way. 

• Observe how she behaves when she is angry. 

• Notice how she acts when you ask her to do selfless things that can benefit the relationship. 

• Does everything have to be HER WAY OR NO WAY? 

• Does she give you silent treatment instead of just communicating whats wrong?

• Does she deliberately withhold sex from you as a form of punishment?

I understand a woman’s body is her body, and she has every right to not have sex if she genuinely isn't in the mood. But don’t entertain women who weaponise this against you. 

Imagine being married and facing this situation—you could end up in a sexless relationship, tempting you to cheat, which will only worsen the situation and be unfair to the Kids, God and the families involved in the marriage.

In a relationship, are you sometimes going to do things that make her angry and pissed off at you? Absolutely. 

But women who don’t have toxic, narcissistic, or vindictive traits will communicate in a healthy and loving way when this happens. You can then both decide the best way to deal with the situation, assuming YOU are an emotionally healthy man.

Most women at a younger age are not aware of healthy communication. So it is your responsibility to as a man and LEADER to tell her in the beginning.

“Listen babe, no-one is perfect and sometimes we may clash heads or do things that one of us does not like. We must promise each other that when this happens that we will deal with the situation in a loving, calm and mature manner. This doesn’t mean we cannot express our emotions and feelings. We just should not become violent, aggressive or do/say anything which could be destructive for the relationship”

A lot of women have had experiences with many goofy guys who have had no grasp over their emotions or they come from households where they never saw their parents properly deal with conflicts in a healthy. So you cannot expect women to just come and be emotionally ready. 

As a leader, you will have to ‘train’ them to deal with conflicts in a healthy way. 

Pay close attention to a woman’s behaviours and do not let your sexual urges lead you into starting a family with a toxic woman. Look for signs of a healthy, respectful, and mutually supportive relationship. Your future and your children's well-being depend on it.

4. A Man Should Only Entertain starting A Family When He Is Financially Stable.

Keyword: STABLE

You need a stable job or business. 

You cannot be bouncing from job to job every 2-3 months and entertain the thought of starting a family.

You don’t need to be a rich millionaire, but you damn sure need to have financial security in order to start a HEALTHY family. 

Struggle love is dead and no child deserves to be born into a world of struggle and misery.

If you can barely look after yourself, what makes you thin you’re responsible enough to look after kids?

Yes, everyone wants ‘Love’ But did you know that money situations are the root cause of all divorces? 

If you don’t have financial or career security. Do NOT start a family.

Yes, I’m aware for some people it takes them to have kids before they get their act right. 

But again, no child deserves to be born into a world of struggle. 

Raising kids is not cheap. 

5. You Should Only Start a Family with a Woman You Completely Trust

I have noticed that many people these days are in a relationship with someone they do not have 100% trust in. Which makes no sense to me. 

Trust and healthy communication is the heartbeat of any solid relationship, especially when it comes to starting a family. If you can't trust your partner fully, you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of stress, anxiety, and suspicion. Which could end up messing things up.

Your insecurities and unhealed trauma will have you thinking they are doing sneaky things when they are not around you.

I understand there are some men who have seen the ugly side of female nature. Maybe they was cheated on or they were the guy who had a girl cheat for them. 

You cannot project that insecurity onto every single woman on this planet. There are plenty of great character women in this world who wouldn’t do such despicable acts. 

For the most part, when men have experienced that ugly side of female nature, they were usually entertaining women who:

• Didn’t have any respect for them (read number 1) 

• They ignored her consistent red flags

• They talked a girl / woman, who is not in the mental or emotionally in a phase of life into a serious relationship. 

All of this which only then lead to the woman doing something bad. 

You must heal these emotional wounds and trust issues before you entertain a relationship or starting a family.

A lack of trust will kill your relationship over time. You’ll constantly question her actions, doubt her words, and feel uneasy about her intentions. 

• You’ll start thinking she’s cheating because she took a bit longer to respond than usual 

• You’ll have sleepless nights when she goes on girls holidays

• You start panicking when she leaves the house dressing sexy

• You’ll get into an argument if she gets home slightly later than usual

• You’ll constantly be asking to check her phone and go through her messages

• You’ll start overthinking little things like ‘why is her phone faced upside down’

Etc...

These trust issues and unhealed pain creates a toxic environment that is not healthy to raising a family. Your kids will sense the tension and insecurity, which can affect their emotional well-being.

It makes ZERO sense to be in a relationship or starting a family with someone you do not trust. Just think of it.

Before deciding to start a family, make sure you can trust her with everything—your feelings, your finances, and your future. 

Trust isn't just about her cheating; it's about believing she has your back and will be a reliable co-parent. 

If there’s ANY lingering doubt in your mind about her honesty, loyalty, or reliability, you should NOT be in a relationship with her, and damn sure not starting a family. Even she is genuinely a good person, your trust issues will sabotage the relationship.

Starting a family is one of the biggest commitments you'll ever make.

Without that unwavering trust, your relationship will crumble under pressure, and the ones who will suffer the most are your kids. So, be smart and choose a partner you trust completely, because anything less is a recipe for disaster.

-Till Next Time