Why is it hard for independent & successful women to find love?

 Independent women, those who are successful and self-reliant, frequently face challenges in the dating scene.

**If you are a man, read until the end because I will explain how to deal with these kinds of women.**

Most people believe that success will boost a woman's dating options.

Since childhood, parents and teachers have told women the idea that success equals a better chance at finding a great guy.

Women used to suffer in silence because they felt trapped; now, they're walking away.

People think marriages back in our grandparents days lasted longer and were happier, but that's because women often had no choice but to put up with things in silence.

Back then, many women stuck with abusive partners simply because they had no escape.

When women do not depend on anyone, relationships seem to last less, but it is simply that they do not need someone who does not make them happy just because they support them.

Simple women are more approachable.

Generally, certain types of women intimidate a lot of men.

Men love control and boss type of women don’t give them that possibility.

Even if many men don’t want to admit it, they love to have control. 

Feeling that they are ruled by a woman and letting them be the boss hits their pride and ego.

No matter if they are equally successful, they want to feel like they are useful in a woman's life.

Some men believe that a partner is equal to a maid.

They want to a woman who will go and work the whole day, come home to cook and clean for them.

Some men believe that having a partner means having someone who takes care of them and does everything they have to do in the house for them, even if the woman works.

Independent, working women often believe they shouldn't have to run a household just because they're women, which makes sense and deserves respect. 

However, some men still think women have specific roles to fill and get upset when a woman is so independent she doesn’t want to play into those expectations.

Because independent women don't see themselves as anyone's mother or servant by default, they choose not to put up with being treated as such. Especially if things are 50/50.

How Can Men Deal With These Types Of Women?

There is a perfect person for every personality.

But if you happen to be dealing with women who are independent have their shit together, they usually do not need a man for any kind of financial assistance. 

Typically women who have their things together are used to dealing with dusty guys who are only full of promises but 0 action. This is especially true if guys are younger (under 30) 

*Not trying to be disrespectful to those guys*

So when YOU come in and your have your shit together too, this is a MASSIVE breath of fresh air for her.

This means you as a man would have to cater to her other needs and providing a safe space. 

There's 2 ways to go about this:

1. Most women who are super independent & doing well, will have a secret soft and feminine side they wish they could show

When you come with YOUR shit together, you can now take charge of things and take the weight of her shoulders. 

This does not mean you are a simp. 

It's just that this is the way to emotionally stimulate these types of women. 

Because they never get to experience what it's like to feel feminine due to them being with guys they gotta do everything for. 

This makes you standout from all the guys who want her to be leading and doing everything. 

This is one of the few times where it is reasonable to take care of most things.

However it's imprtant to do this for someone who values and appreciates you and is not exploiting your generousity.

2. Allow her to invest into you.

Keyword: ALLOW

Women show their love by doing things for you. 

Too many men have fallen into the trap of believing that a woman should never ever lift a finger. This is false. 

When women OFFER to do things for you, allow them to.

Yes, even-though a man will be a breath of fresh air for women like this. These women will often want to reciprocate the energy and the efforts as a sign of appreciation.

When this happens, ALLOW THEM TO DO IT.

For a woman (or man) to truly fall for someone, she needs to put effort into the relationship, not just the other way around. It can't be a one sided thing.

Men often end up falling in love because they're the ones going all out doing everything they possibly can to win her over, which is not bad but it can backfire and leave him bitter if she never did anything back for him.

Many men fall for the "Never let a woman lift a finger" BS we see all these people talking about online.

Doing everything for the relationship while she might not contribute as much. 

It's not about money. People can pour into you just by spending time around you, travelling to you, doing nice acts of service for you etc... These can even be worth more than money because we can always make money back but we can never get our time back.

It's tough to walk away from something you've poured your heart and resources into.

We're naturally more attached to things we invest in emotionally.

Nurturing is where women's strength lies. When she cares for you (and not in a motherly way), it increases her appreciation for you.

Women are drawn to men who make them feel feminine and valued. 

Encourage her to invest in you, but never exploit this.

This is powerful and can be really destructive if mishandled. That's why it's not something I speak about on public online platforms and I gate-keep it for a reason. 

Whether you are a man or woman, don't abuse this on someone. 

Think about it: the more you do for someone, the more you care and the more you will find it harder to walk away from them. 

That deep-seated care? It comes from your investment - the time, the dates, the favours. That's where real emotional bonds form.

- Till next time.