Quote: Breakups

Recently, I've had a few people reach out to me regards to how to deal with their breakup. 

I have some posts on here which advise step by step how to get through a breakup but i wanted to share a quick quote on breakups. 

Breakups are hard to deal with because when you date someone for an extended period of time, your identity becomes associated with your ex. 

After the breakup, it can feel like you don't know yourself anymore because the other person defines so much of your life, routines, and how you spend your time. 

It's healthy and necessary after a breakup to be alone and single for about 4-6 months. This way you'll have enough time to fully get over it and can get back to who you was before you met your ex.

This will enable you to go inward and work on yourself and become a better version of who you currently are.

When you become a better-quality person due to improving yourself, you will increase your value and improve the quality of lovers you are able to attract. 

However people who don't focus on getting better tend to keep on attracting the same kind of people and relationships over and over again.

If you was in a serious and intense long term relationship, it may take you about a year and a half to fully get over someone you once shared life with.

And what this means is, it will take about a year and a half until you get to a point where you're no longer getting up everyday and thinking about them, the memories, feeling sad, depressed, lonely, or being bothered about how they are getting on.

Time Heals All Wounds

When it comes to breakups, you're just going to have to take the time to be alone and get over it so you can eventually start dating again. Even if you don't feel like it.

The quickest way to get over a breakup is by meeting somebody who is more attractive, more fun, and easier to be around. 

Fear inhabits People From Moving On

Many people stay in relationships long after it is time for it to end. 

However, when they become fearful that will never find someone better, they will either stay and continue being miserable or they will go back to their exes, because it's easier and more comfortable than being alone and moving on.

Staying in a relationship longer than you should or going back to a familiar Ex does not serve you or the person and will only further delay from coming across a much suitable lovers in the long run.

In order for a new relationship and a better match, you must first create the space for someone new to fiil.

And even though it's scary to be single and you don't know when or who you will next, if a relationship ended, you always have to remember WHY it ended.

After breakups, people only think about all the great times and memories but they hardly ever think about why the breakup actually happened. If things was so great, then a breakup would not have happened. 

What is your emotionally compelling reason for the end of the relationship?

What is your vision for your future relationship?

What kind of person do you want to attract in the future?

What kind of qualities and characteristics do they have?

You have to become obsessed in doing the things which will move your life FORWARD and not worried and stuck on the things that happened in the past whilst not being overly worried and anxious about the future. 

You won't even have the time to think and wonder about the past/future when you're immersed in improving your life. 

If you're busy being productive, you don't have the time or the emotional/mental space to imagine what may or not happen in the future. 

- Till next time