(ARTICLE) 7 Types Of People You’ll Date Before You Meet The “One”

1. The dog chasing the car.

Some of the people you’ll date will be like this.

They enjoy the idea of you, or the chase to “get” you, but once they do…they don’t have any idea what to do.

Pay close attention to those who pursue you and determine if they’re actually capable of connecting with you if given the chance.

2. The project.

These are the people with “potential” or who you thought “could change” if you just managed to love them the right way, give them the right resources, or act as their life coach instead of their equal partner.

That never works.

But you already knew that.

You knew it wasn’t going to work before you began.

Yet, you tried anyway.

The truth is that people won’t change unless they, themselves, have a strong enough reason to and then put in the required effort.

Maybe they can change because of you, in the sense that they want to be with you so badly that they become inspired to correct their ways, but this realisation can only come when they’re ready. Not when you want them to be ready.

Don’t get down on yourself if you’ve chosen projects instead of partners, just make sure you spot the warning signs so you can make better decisions in the future.

3. Smoldering toxicity.

A lot of people stayed with someone for too long for the wrong reasons.

Maybe they were really attractive, or they were great in bed, or they were incredibly attractive AND they were great in bed.

As you get more experienced, you’ll already know where this road leads and that it takes an infinite amount more than just good looks to maintain a serious relationship.

4. The one who is ready to settle down ASAP

This is the person who’s immediately ready to settle down and get married after the first date or receiving a follow back on Instagram.

There are many things in life you should never rush, and long term or lifelong commitments are definitely one of them.

Make sure you maintain your own boundaries so you don’t let someone completely invade your life and unpack their stuff on the 2nd date.

5. The HIID.

(I made up this phrase)

If you’re familiar with HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) you know that it’s when you go all out for a set period of time, and then hang back and rest for a period of time.

This is how some people date. They’re High Intensity Interval Daters.

You’ll get blown up with texts and compliments and selfies and “I miss you’s” for a few weeks, and then they disappear out of nowhere.

Consistency is key and you should seek someone who isn’t going to constantly make you question how they feel about you.

6. The addiction

The thing about addiction is that it keeps pulling you back to something that you know isn’t good for you.

You’re infatuated and think that you’re in love, when in reality the complete immersion in their existence is playing tricks on you.

You always want to be talking to them, or around them, or breathing the same air as them.

You start spending a lot of (too much) time together, and it becomes even harder to break away when you realise that you’ve been drawn to them for all of the wrong reasons.

The only thing that helps break the this is remembering what you want and refusing to settle for less any longer.

Your self-respect must be stronger than the pull you feel towards them.

7. Unserious candidates

The point is, some people simply don’t want to grow up.

You’ve worked your ass off for years to build a serious life for yourself that you can be proud of, and it can be frustrating when it seems like everyone you date just wants to take advantage of it instead of matching your efforts.

They’ll think you’ll just take care of them.

If a serious committed relationship is what you are after, you should find an adult who’s ready for, and looking for, the similar things that you are also looking for.

You can find it, but you need to be resilient and persistent. You need to acknowledge each of these experiences as one of learning and growth that helps to guide you forward.

Have fun with it, explore learning about other people, have cool experiences on dates, learn about yourself in the process.

Closing thoughts

Dating the wrong types of people can be frustrating and tiring, but the ones who find the right one in the end don’t let that stop them from moving forward. They take the lessons they’ve learned and apply them the next time around.

Everyone is on a different timeline and there is no set schedule for when you’re “supposed” to find love.

If you’re putting consistent effort into self-improvement and living a social life (GET OUT THE HOUSE!), you’ll be meeting so many new people while you’re pursuing your passions that your calendar will be overflowing with social interactions.

And most of all, keep a positive perspective. No relationship is ever a waste of time. If it didn’t bring you what you wanted, it helped you learn what you don’t want.

Till next time.