SpanishRed

Last Night I Received a Long Goodbye

Added 2023-11-22 06:42:43 +0000 UTC

Last night I received a long goodbye from an old Fetlife friend who is leaving us for Vanilla Land. Goodbyes are the worst the kink community has to offer. I often wish this community lived on its own island so that when I wanted to see you, I could hop in a taxi with a pizza and a bunch of tulips. But there is no such thing as BDSM country. Fetlife is as close to common ground as I’ve found, and its exit is well used.

I’ve developed a long list of people to wonder about. Why did they disappear? Will they be back? Are they happy? Some have been gone for years, and I miss them.

My inbox has far more “ins” than “outs” these days. I don’t keep up, largely because I try to limit my time here given that cyberspace is a shabby replacement for the ocean. If I could jet off to meet everyone on my friends list, I would, but pixels and happiness don’t mix for me. Maybe they don’t mix for anyone.

The time I spend at my keyboard is no reflection of those I value on this site. Some of you have left a permanent imprint on my life. Some have changed me. Some have seen me through chaos and trauma, and some have shown me more generosity than I believed possible in this world. My connections here are profoundly meaningful, so when the door swings outward, I always feel the loss.

Last night I received a long goodbye from an old Fetlife friend who is leaving for Vanilla Land. This morning I received a “hello” from an old friend who has come back to the kink community after a long absence. These doors revolve. Every now and then, someone I treasure returns, and I’m reminded that some connections, no matter how digital, endure.