Vanilla Sex is Deviant
Added 2023-11-19 06:26:41 +0000 UTCWhen I joined Fetlife, I thought D/s was a flaw that would earn me a psychiatric diagnosis. I was no longer capable of mixing with decent society. Only broken, fucked up people liked a pain and submission, or so I thought.
Fetlife was terrifying, not for their differences, but their chilling similarities. It felt as though I was being drawn into something I would regret. Back then, degradation felt deviant and dark.
I no longer see power exchange as a pathology. Spending time with people who shared that view changed my life. Your attitudes to sexuality were as catching as the common cold. Your comfort with yourselves dripped from every word.
My first event took that to a new level. The people I met were so celebratory about kink that it seemed to leak through their pores. The stickiness I’d once attached to BDSM washed away. I fell in love with two of the community’s words: “play” and “consent.” They gave kink a healthy sheen and proved that we could be light-hearted about our sexualities.
We aren't unusual. Globally, 20% of people have tried bondage and other forms of BDSM. 64% have BDSM fantasies. All in all, The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that the only rare sexual fantasies werenon-consensual.
All the numbers in the world couldn’t transform me the way the kink community has. We are normal. Vanilla sex is deviant. The vast majority of people have a kinky streak.
Secrets tend to rot if you leave them hidden long enough. Bring them to the light, though, and all the dead parts fall away. This is why I love the l kink community. It brought out all my secrets and destroyed my shame.
