Deepthroating isn't Kink Lite for Vanillas

Deepthroating is the most vanilla kink in BDSM-ville. Few other forms of S&M play have occupied non-kink sites as successfully as this one. You’ll see it on vanilla Only Fans pages. You’ll hear about it in Russel Brand comedy hours. Even Pornhub hasn’t relegated it to kink-related searches. It’s just a blowjob with a bit of spice thrown in — kink lite if you will. It makes your mascara run—and all subs need running mascara, you know.

Hi. I’m Karen, and I’m here to tell you to hold my beer.

Deepthroating is one of my favourite things, but I classify it as edge play. Don’t worry. Nobody else does. Google will tell you it’s just a fun thing to do on a Sunday morning, but I’m not so sure.

It frequently qualifies as breath play — one of the most dangerous kinds of edge play in BDSM. In mere moments, it can cause traumatic brain injury, seizures, and death. As someone who’s lived with a traumatic brain injury, I can assure you it is fiercely debilitating in a thousand different ways. It affects your social functioning, career life, relationships, sensory experiences, and problem-solving abilities. It creeps in everywhere. Don’t take it lightly.

You do not have to engage in breath play in order to throat a penis, but please make sure your partner understands your boundaries ahead of time. I’ve had men assume that if I’m willing to throat, I’m willing to be choked for extended periods of time without a safe signal. Hell, one of my exes legitimately thought I could breathe with a cock down my throat. Risk awareness is important. Understand the physiology involved, please.

Sexual asphyxia's mortality rates are muddied by autoerotic asphyxiation cases, but we know this kink causes 250 to 1,000 deaths a year in the USA.

Unlike ordinary breath play, though, deepthroating carries the risk of aspiration and aspiration pneumonia. That can, in turn, lead to pulmonary obstruction, secondary infection, and even death. If you’re new to this kind of play and haven’t gained full control of your gag reflex, your body can reroute fluids to your air passages and lungs.

Pressure to the vagus nerve can also cause rapid blood pressure drops, so please make sure that your body can take it. While we're listing risks, throating can cause esophageal tears, particularly among bulimics. Anaesthetic spray can lead to injuries, and practicing on miscellaneous fruit is a great way to win a Darwin Award. I'm sure your boyfriend will altruistically let you practice on his penis. Men are selfless that way.

Risk awareness and risk mitigation are crucial components of ethical BDSM. If you think throating is kink lite, you aren’t risk-aware, and if you aren’t risk-aware, you shouldn’t be engaging in edge play.