Around the Internet in 40 Days

This week I went on a journey to the unknown lands of the vanilla internet. I got ignored on Tumblr, went viral on Facebook, and got followed on Medium. I joined an NGO, posted photographs of my dog eating tennis balls, and strongly considered resurrecting my Twitter account. I found out that Facebook debates are a blunt instrument best reserved for tenderising your steak and Tumblr subculture is completely incomprehensible. But if you think Cinderella memes and obscure animated gifs are all kinds of fun, I’ll be hiding in this corner considering maybe moving from this chair to the couch.

In short, I’ve found out that unknown lands might not spew as much toxicity as Fetlife, but they don’t really spew anything else either—like, say, amazing people. I’m happy to be looking at that black and red screen. It sucks something awful sometimes, but I’ve cleared a corner of Fetlife away for myself, and the people who visit are made of stardust and unicorns.

The kink community is as politically charged as Twitter. Divert from your political correctness, and you’ll get stormed by pitchforks and PC trolls. Be politically correct, and you’ll be stormed by men’s rights activists. The only way to stay away from other people’s butthurt is to stick to posting photos of your butt. And you know what? It has its benefits, even if it does result in factions and wars.

It works wonders for your body positivity, too. On Fetlife, you quickly learn that you, like everyone else, have a normal body. You learn to celebrate that. It seems to happen entirely by osmosis, and that’s three years of therapy right there.

I have plenty of reasons to hate Fet, and I kind of do, but don’t ever tell me I can’t hold to completely opposite opinions simultaneously. I will prove you wrong. I will always adore my kink friends, local and foreign alike. I love the site because of you and you and you. I’ve always fit this subculture more than any other. Even the writing community, which I adore, doesn’t make me feel quite as at home as that fucking horrible kink website and its Cape Town contingent.

Yesterday an old friend asked me what happened to me in the last year to change me so much. The answer is kinky people. You made me fly my freak flag high. It's all your fault.