SpanishRed

Why Nice Guys Finish First

Added 2023-09-30 06:07:22 +0000 UTC

I’ve received some spectacularly horrible unsolicited messages from strangers on Fetlife. There was the sock who told me he wanted to watch me bleed out while hung over a bath and the reader who called me a “dirty AIDS slut” because I’d written a post about blowjobs. My inbox is a kind of horror-movie dream catcher that captures toxic sludge instead of fantasies. There are a few reasons men send that kind of message, and one of them is that somehow, you don’t realise that we talk to each other. Yep, even about you.

You send copy pastes to so many of us that entire friendship circles inevitably get treated to your crap eventually, so when the crazy-hot woman you really wanted to fuck asks if I know you, the answer is, “When I didn’t respond to his message within the hour, he sent me a 500-word insult.”

The next time you decide to throw a tantrum at the woman who dared not be at her PC at the precise time you sent her a copy-paste, remember that this is not Tinder. This is not OKCupid. This is a social network. That means women speak to one another, so when you objectify one of us, it’s like writing, “I swear at people who reject me” in the sky.

There is something we share about you way more often than your tantrums: your awesomeness. When you surprise us with your compassion or wow us with your respect, that information finds its way around Fetlife so quickly you couldn’t catch it wearing Nikes.

This has an effect that’s as old as time itself: decent men get laid, and it has nothing to do with karma. It has to do with the fact that nice guys finish first.