Fetlife should be the white house of sex positivity, so maybe you'd be more comfortable in a church

Fetlife should be the white house of sex positivity. We’re all sluts here by one definition or another. We don’t shame people for having 300 notches on their bedposts, and we don’t refer to STI status as “clean” or “unclean”. We value our sex workers as integral parts of the kink scene.

Please leave the room before your head explodes. You’re welcome to come back afterwards. I really don’t want to lose all the glassware. Hilda currently has some of it in her butt.

Done? Good. Let’s continue.

We don’t put a discount on your price tag for having an orgy, or for letting women stick pool noodles in your penis.

These are the customs of this website. Not everyone follows them, but the locals understand that your kink isn’t my kink and that’s okay. It’s our own little idiom, and it’s the one that keeps the sex-positivity engine rolling the smoothest.

We don’t yuck yums. Except Hilda, obviously, because you just gave her butt plug a hairline fracture. That sort of thing can really put a girl in a bad mood. We’re letting Hilda whine for the moment, but I’m sure she’d appreciate it if you apologised.

This is not the Catholic Church. We don’t get our values from the Old Testament. We’re making a new culture here, and it’s a lot more fun than Sunday morning service. If you’re going to bring Sunday morning service into our party, we will shout you down because sex positivity is sacred here. It’s the very thing our liberty depends on.

If you think sex work is a sin, you aren’t one of us because you reject a huge proportion of our community. You can become one of us if you like, but it will require you to develop some sex-positive traits. What’s sex positivity? Well, I thought you’d never ask.

Oxford calls it “an open, tolerant, or progressive attitude towards sex and sexuality,” but what it really is is a philosophical movement that’s changing cultural norms around sexuality. If it’s consensual, it’s okay. There is no moral failing in being poly… or slutty… or asexual… or kinky. There’s no moral failing in shagging 10 men in one go, even for money.

Exhibitionism is not disgusting. The human body is a beautiful thing. Sharing it does not reduce one's value. There is no morality to be found in nudity. Your convent’s lessons about masturbation and contraception were bunk, and sex is a natural part of being human. Porn isn’t morally reprehensible, just mostly not good enough for me.

Nobody moralises at Sarah’s preference for garlic snails or Frank’s taste for raw carrots. Food tastes are considered a natural part of the human experience, and nobody’s policing the sort of spices you put on your plate. I like chili so hot it makes me cry. Nobody thinks I’m a sinner because of it.

Sex is just a bodily function like eating, so sluttiness is really just defined as “having extra fun.” Extra fun is excellent, but if you prefer your partners to have less fun, may I refer you to your closest church? This isn’t your tribe, and your judgment is best declared to a priest.