If You're New to Fetlife

If you don’t look too closely, Fetlife will seem like a dark room crawling with orgies and smut. We’re the Facebook of Pornhub, so we'll show you our diamante-clad buttholes if it’s the last thing we do. Here, the female body is drooled upon and the male body, pushed into your inbox next to a remote control and a pair of dirty socks. Fet’s entry hall smells of cum and filthy laundry, but if you walk in a little deeper, we’ll show you a whole other room.

This is where the blood and scars go. Fetlife won’t introduce you to our kink lives on a subtle gradient. No. Here’s a scarrified torso, and here’s a pair of balls wrapped around a metal contraption straight out of the Middle Ages. We don’t care if you’re just into a little light spanking. If you walk into the Gore Room, you don’t get a trigger warning.

We keep abusers in the basement. These are the people who can detect new and vulnerable subs in under 30 seconds flat. In this corner, you'll find the cultish masters and dudebros who are in search of their next wank fest. In that corner, you'll find the "findommes" who wouldn't know a findomme if it walked up to them and bounced a penny off their butts. If you thought the entryway smelled bad, you haven't met the dudebros. The last time they cleaned out their fridges Obama was still in the Oval Office.

It gets a little odious ‘round here sometimes, but we also have a rose garden and a wrap-around porch. That’s where all the bloody, smutty bodies gather to show you their inner lives. They’ll tell you things that’ll melt away the last icy glaciers of your sexual shame. They’ll listen to the secrets you swore never to reveal, and they'll show you your trauma in ways you've never thought of before. This is how you will learn that your sexuality is not sick, but beautiful. You’ll arrive for the kink and stay for the friendship just as we all have.

You’ll grow to cherish the parties, the kinky hikes, the exquisite rope. You’ll learn to love the diamante-clad buttholes for all they’ve taught you about sexual freedom. You'll figure out which rooms to go into and which to avoid. Most of all, you’ll begin to build your own rooms: those that tell the story of your burgeoning kink life.

Fetlife’s house is a sprawling one because we all get to add to it. Some of us like to take out the dirty laundry, and some of us prefer discovering our inner smut star. You might become one of the front page porn clips or the scarrified torso on the porch. You can never tell what you might become in this house. Sexual freedom has a way of turning you into a creature you never realised you had the potential to become.

And that’s what makes this place beautiful. It’s what will make you stop calling it a house and start calling it a home.