Stop Trying to Cure Depression With Motivational Idioms

Depression is like a life lived uphill pushing a boulder. In the beginning, pushing that rock is possible, even easy, but when weeks have passed, your exhaustion is complete. Your inability to move another centimetre has nothing to do with a lack of willpower. Your body. Just. Can’t. Do it. Anymore. You’re a hostage of a nearly-dead body.

This is not a choice. It’s a disease, so please stop telling us to eat more spinach and smile more often. Depression sn’t a sign that we’re weaker than you. We might even be stronger because we have not given up. We haven’t listened to the voices in our heads telling us to just stop existing.

When I was depressed, I chose to be happy a million times. Every time I managed to create a cheerful moment, my depression knocked me out and dragged me back into the cobwebs and the misery. It isn’t a mood. It’s a disease. You can’t cure it by smiling.

Depression sufferers need real doctors, not positive words. You wouldn’t try to talk away your mother’s diabetes, so please don’t try to treat mood disorders with This One Cute Trick That Will Totally Change Your Life.

Depression patients are fucking tired, but this kind of exhaustion is not ‘just tired’. It’s not ‘just’ anything. I didn’t know what exhaustion felt like until depression found me. It was so far beyond tired that I could feel my bones screaming.

Depression is not a mood. It’s a disease. Did I say that already? Sorry. It’s just that you don’t seem to be listening to me. Depression is like wearing the wrong glasses. It blurs the way you see the world and turns everything hostile. There were moments when I was aware of how unrealistic my perceptions were, but realisations are not enough to change depression because…? It’s a disease, not a mood. Yes. Now you’re getting the picture.

Trying to arm wrestle your way out of a chemical imbalance is as useful as trying to use willpower to fix a bicycle instead of tools.

Willpower means very little when you're living on the edge of death, which is essentially what you're doing when you have severe depression. I needed people to be present and treat me with compassion. I needed friends to drive me to treatment, sit with me during my worst times, and help me with basic daily chores. I needed them to make me feel loved and precious because depression and self-hatred are impossible to separate.

Shaming someone for feeling suicidal can’t cure their suicidal feelings. It merely makes sure they don't speak up next time.