Subs are golden treasures that twinkle in the moonlight. Dominants are just there to call us “a gift.”

Subs and masochists are golden treasures that twinkle in the moonlight. Dominants and tops are mainly just there to call us “a gift.” We give them all the sparkling they adore, and in exchange, they express their infinite gratitude. This is how BDSM works. Subs = Diamonds. Dom/mes = The folks who do mean things.

It doesn’t matter that Jonathon’s been learning rope for 20 years. Submission is a gift.

If doesn’t matter that Belinda had to do 50 years of therapy before she could release her domly powers. Submission is a gift.

It doesn’t matter that Richard’s spent a year’s income on his dungeon or that Sarah made all those floggers with her own hands. Submission is a gift, to hell with Sean the Sadist’s crippling guilt and Jacki the Brat Tamer’s infinitely creative scenes.

Submitting is the hard part. Being a top is easy. All you have to do is roam around in circles until a passing bottom deigns to offer you their eternal glory. Once that happens, your flogging skills simply float into your heart like a glittering promise.

Except they don’t because submission is no more a gift than sadism or dominance.

I see a horde of subs screeching over the horizon waving pangas, but I’m not going to capitulate. A sadist who’s willing to trust a masochist well enough to hurt her is every bit as valuable as a bottom.

I know the sub horde is getting closer, but I’m not retracting my claim. A dominant who’s learned the subtleties of CNC is worth her weight in treasure.

Oh, shit. The horde isn’t coming for me. It’s heading for my cupcake table. Okay, fine. Submission is a gift.

I can occupy this opinion relatively well. No, really. Submission is a gift because it’s something earned. It’s a gift because it’s something given, not taken. Submission is a gift because it should never be strong-armed out of anyone. All of these things are true, but these things are also true: Dominance is a gift because it’s something earned. It’s a gift because it’s something given, not taken. It’s a gift because it should never be strong-armed out of anyone.

We lose track of these truths, so we barely know how a sub might violate a top’s consent. We don’t think about that because submission is a gift. We don’t show sensitivity to sadists who are struggling with their consciences. We can’t enumerate the many ways a masochist can coerce a top. We’re too busy glittering. What’s that you say? Dommes need aftercare, too? Be quiet. Submission is a gift.