THE GOBLIN NEWSLETTER 42

Part of why I am politically homeless is that I grew up as a hard leftist, but old school style, all about class consciousness & solidarity. As I grew up, I realized that my politics didn’t match up with reality & were driving me nuts. Plus class & race were so aligned with any Bay Area political thought, I just couldn’t get down. I got into Satanism & extreme individualism as a reaction to all that & as a way to break free. After a couple years that stopped scratching the itch & I tried to understand my anarchist tendencies more & somehow justify them with the fact that I had come to peace with America & being an American. I’m also too nice of a guy to align myself with such an oppositional philosophy. I called myself a libertarian for a while, after being opened up to it by the owner of Top Dog hot dogs in Berkeley. I think that was more my attempt at justifying my anarchist tendencies with my increasingly pro-American views. My naturally paranoid & mystery-solving brain was appeased by the amount of conspiracy material that could be found online. Keep in mind that this is all between 2000-2012, so the web was a very different place. With the publication of PORK I started to realize that my audience’s politics were all over the place & I started to realize that I didn’t actually have a political agenda. That my attraction to politics was more a desire to work with the machinations of the people, to improve society & increase the quality of people’s lives in general. I want to be successful in whatever I take on & I want to be a net addition to humanity. Over time I have realized that I have a philosophical goal, a cultural goal, a spiritual goal, politics just seems like an overly partisan confusion in all of those things. Maybe I have seen it all too rigidly, maybe there is room there for me. I feel like the way I see politics is the way I see religion, a structure that actually obfuscates the true goal. I don’t need a mouthpiece getting between me & a deeper understanding of existence.