Two Wolves

• Inside every Smash player there are two wolves. One is a racist and the other is an incel. Some people called "furries" have a third wolf inside of them, but for different reasons. There's also a secret fourth wolf that is a literal wolf. His name is Odin and he's also a racist.
• “Inside every Smash player there are two wolves. One of them wants to have fun, and the other want a serious competitive experience.” “Which one wins?” my grandson asks.  “None of them do,” I reply.
• Inside every Smash player there are two wolves. One is transphobic and the other looks like shit. Unfortunately, both of these wolves are very well fed and there’s not much we can do about it.
• Inside every Smash player there are two wolves. One of them is an alt-right Trump supporter and the other is an alt-left Hillary supporter. Neither of them know much about politics or current events, but are active on Twitter.
• Inside every Smash player there are two wolves. One of them is actually a dog, and the other is a real life fucking wolf. I would be absolutely terrified if I was that dog.
• Inside every Smash player there are two wolves. One enjoys camping with projectiles and the other enjoys aggressive rush-down play. They play the game together every day and are very close friends despite their stylistic differences.
• Inside every Smash player there are two wolves. One of them is a human in a wolf costume and the other is a wolf in a human costume. Neither of them are particularly good at doing anything other than playing video games.
• Inside every Smash player there are two wolves. One of them represents good, and the other represents evil. "Which one wins?" my grandson asks. "The one with a gun," I say, pulling out a shiny new Beretta M9.
• Inside every Smash player there are two wolves. One plays Melee, and the other plays Ultimate. Both of them hate Smash 4.
• Inside every Smash player there are two wolves. One of them thinks that Sonic is top-tier and the other is an idiot.
• Inside every Smash player there are two wolves. One of them can play Wii Fit Trainer at a high level, and the other is a serial killer and sexual deviant.
• Inside every Smash player there are two wolves. One speaks Latin during the game and enjoys the taste of blood, and the other is a normal person.  “Vere dignum et iustum est,” I say to my grandson as I deliver a forward-smash that shatters his whole universe.