Smash with the Boyssss: An Interview with MKLeo

Deep Leffen: Welcome back to Smash with the Boyssss, where we get nasty with some of our most beloved Smash players and personalities, asking them deep questions about video games, life, their thoughts on the Copenhagen Interpretation of Quantum Mechanics, and their sexual proclivities. I have with me in the studio MKLeo, who is currently ranked number one in the world for Super Smash Bros Ultimate. He was born and raised in Mexico, where, according to my notes, he once fought and killed a Leprechaun. Is this true, MKLeo?

MKLeo:  It's true and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Deep Leffen: Perhaps you should be ashamed, as Leprechauns do not exist, and therefore it is very likely that you killed an innocent Irishman. 

MKLeo: It's true and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Deep Leffen: Wow. Very bold of you to say. It appears that MKLeo is a natural born killer inside and outside the game. How are you doing today, Leo?

MKLeo:

Deep Leffen:  MKLeo appears to be preoccupied right now eating some kind of "Fruit by the Foot." I'm going to give him just a few minutes to finish up.

MKLeo: Sometimes I feel like they should call it Fruit by the Feet.

[Pauses for audience laughter]

Deep Leffen: Great point about Fruit by the Feet. MKLeo, we like to start our conversations off with a moral dilemma. What do you think about that?

MKLeo: [pretends his tongue is made of Fruit by the Foot]

[Pauses for audience laughter]

Deep Leffen: Let's say a powerful alien visits Earth and promises to fully eradicate all suffering in the world on one condition: You provide to him a baby on which he and his alien friends will perform scientific experiments, causing the child unimaginable pain. He plans to continue these experiments throughout the life of the child. You have every reason to believe that the alien is telling the truth and will follow through on his promises. What do you do?

MKLeo: [Chuckles to himself]

Deep Leffen: MKLeo, you are the baby.

MKLeo: What the fuck?

Deep Leffen: I forgot to tell you. You are the baby in this scenario. You just committed to sacrificing yourself like an idiot.

MKLeo: Oh that's kind of cool. I'm a martyr for humanity.

Deep Leffen: Actually you're just a dumb baby. Nobody knows your name and nobody will remember you while they're living out their lives in perfect utopia.

MKLeo: Okay, cool.

Deep Leffen: This is getting heated. Let's change topics. Can you give me a ranking of your top four favorite fruits and why?

MKLeo: I forgot my Fruit by the Foot on the table, but that's probably my favorite fruit (by the foot). And my second favorite fruit is Grape Soda.

Deep Leffen: What kind of grapes are we talking about?

MKLeo: Grape Soda

Deep Leffen: I'm assuming you like the actual fruit and not just the soda, right?

MKLeo: I like Grape Soda and Fruit by the Feet

Deep Leffen: Perfect. I think we have a great interview here.

Deep Leffen: [Turns to camera and shakes his head]

MKLeo: So I have a question for you.

Deep Leffen: Sure, MKLeo.

MKLeo: Don't you think having a Fruit by the Feet on hand is just too much?

Deep Leffen: Oh you mean Fruit by the Foot?

MKLeo: I feel like you're trying to get me to talk shit about Feet by the Fruit, and I'm not falling for it, motherfucker.

Deep Leffen: Jesus. Okay, I'm going to read the next question.

MKLeo: You know what? Fuck you, buddy. I have no idea who you are or how I got here.

Deep Leffen: Okay great. This is one of our new questions. It's called "The end of the world is swiftly approaching. What are you doing in the final moments before it gets here?"

MKLeo: Having sex.

Deep Leffen: High fives MKLeo. Incredible answer, dude. I've had sex as well and I'm very proud of it.

MKLeo: I'd like to take my answer back, actually.

Deep Leffen: Okay, go ahead.

MKLeo: Thank you. Please continue.

Deep Leffen: This is one of our best questions! This question is called "Would You Go Back In Time To Murder Dragon Hitler?" And it's one that none of our guests have thus far answered correctly, so I'm pretty excited to ask you it.

MKLeo: Can't wait. What's the question?

Deep Leffen: If you could go back in time, would you murder Dragon Mother Theresa?

MKLeo: What the fuck? What does this have to do with Hitler?

Deep Leffen: Oh you sweet, summer child. You really don't have a fucking clue do you?

MKLeo: The only way you're going to get me to murder Dragon Mother Theresa is if she was DLC.

Deep Leffen: And I suppose you wouldn't change your mind if I told you that Dragon Mother Theresa was actually just an ordinary poor farm boy?

MKLeo: I can't listen to this anymore. I'm just going to go.

Deep Leffen: You know what, I've got a question for you.

MKLeo: Of course.

Deep Leffen: How do you feel about my feet? [Slowly takes shoes and socks off and presents feet to MKLeo]

MKLeo: [Takes a deep Breath]

Deep Leffen: I know. Right?

MKLeo: I would suck your Fruit by the Feet.

[MKLeo exits stage in handcuffs.]