Chapter 195 Truth

Author's note:

Hey all!

Here's the second one and the last bonus for April! A lot of questions answered here.

I hope you enjoy!

Cheers!

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I remembered that voice. Or that presence, rather. There was no real speaking in the Empty. This being was the same one that I had met just after leaving the goblin village. With the ork thaumaturge committing to some insane ritual which I helped stop.

“Now, let me give you so assistance”, it said.

I felt something push into my soul. My mind was torn between being scared shitless of a possible attack and hopeful for being saved. Neither of those happened. Instead, the presence reached my origin of perception and my soul at the same time. I had another epiphany. Everything in my soul was me. I saw myself from where I wished. The next moment, I was ‘inside’ my Beast Core within the warped nest. My inner gate was still gushing tenebrae vis but it was part of my soul as well. I decided it would be below my nest and the darkness would move outside of my soul. And so it did.

The impression of appreciation came from the other being.

“You learn fast”, it sent. Its voice felt like home. A mother’s embrace. A father's helping hand. The warm smile of my grandmother.

“I am not them.”

I stilled.

“You can read my mind?”

It took a moment to answer.

“Your mind does not exist therefore I can see it.”

That made a surprising amount of sense to me.

“Why do you feel so familiar, then?”, I asked.

“I found you the first time you came here. I pushed you to become what you were all along.”

“… an owl?”

“Yourself.”

I focused my thoughts. The nest started to shift, the purple sticks and web moving around each other. Something like eyes blinked, then it was perfect. Another halt in vision and it was like before.

“I see…”, I mused, “I died. But my soul did not want to let go.”

“My Others tell me there are many like you. Yet, only few make it as far. I suppose I should congratulate you. Diving this deep into Truth is not something many attempt. Less retain any semblance of sanity.”

“So, I just flew way too far through here after I died?”

“There is no too far.”

Its words soothed my churning soul. The nest shifted back to clean and orderly. I took a closer look at the sticks forming fractal patterns. The webs holding everything together like the finest silk embroidery.

“I believe you have many questions”, it said, “Ask.”

I took a moment to collect my thoughts. The first inquiry was obvious.

“Can I go back?”

I looked up and the eye returned into my vision. I knew it was not really there but the fungibility of the other’s existence calmed me.

“You have not died. You can not leave, yet.”

That was good. I hoped.

“How… No. I will ask that later… Who are you?”

Approval radiated.

“I Am. My self is too grand to be one yet too small to be all. The Others are elsewhere and yet we are the same.”

“So, you’re God?”

“Death would be a better comparison. And yet not True.”

“Ah… Like Charon, the ferryman?”

“I do not guide to the afterlife nor any Hell. I merely observe.”

My thoughts blinked.

“Then what do you do?”

“I Am True. I am Truth.”

“The… Thaumonomicon?”

“That is me and yet not.”

“Of course. It’s only part of the Truth. Parts people have found while looking for the whole. But they can never do so without going here.”

More approval. This time it felt deserved.

“Little one, you understand. You are little no more.”

There was a pause as I considered what I had just learned. Somehow, the Truth thaumaturges were looking for was a being beyond reality. Or this being contained the Truth at least. I was doubtful that was all there was to it. A concept like that was not a soul and yet there clearly was one here with me.

A pulling derailed my thoughts. Something was trying to reach within my soul. Something wanted to find me.

“Not yet”, the eldritch being said and the feeling stopped.

“What was that?”

“It will matter soon.”

I accepted.

“Now, what shall I call you?”, it asked.

The question felt like I could give an answer or wait for one. I tried to figure something out when I noticed that the darkness coming in through my inner gate had slowed down a lot. It was barely a trickle compared to before. Not more than what I knew from a medium vis crystal. At the same moment, familiar figures appeared within me. Slightly transparent purple and pink spiders started to crawl all over my nest as the spectral figures of Eldritch Guardians stood just at the edge and observed.

“You are loved. You never denied them. You shall be called Friend.”

~ding~ You…

“None of that here!”

The very unexpected system message suddenly disappeared. My thoughts blinked once more.

“You… control the system?”, I asked.

“No. But it has no power here. It is a part of that world’s reality.”

“I see… But you know a lot about it?”

“Somewhat. That place is one that commonly connects to the Empty.”

“When do I get the second Class?”

I had never felt such a condescending snort.

“That would be no fun, would it?”

“It’s level 100, right?”

“Acute.”

“Damn. I had hoped for level 50 but then Nymph would have one.”

“Hmm. The Guardian? Yes. A good conduit.”

I perked up in attention.

“Conduit?”, I asked. There was an edge to that thought I had not expected from myself.

“Someone taking energy from the node and actually using it. Most simply pump it back into their soul. It is not good.”

Had I done that?”

“Why?”

“Very simple. Souls lose their connection with reality. They will drag the vis along to other worlds and planes. The cycle will lose energy.”

“So the nodes are turning flux into vis?”

“Somewhat. Nodes and souls are similar in function if different in structure. You may say souls have the ability to decide. They contain warp to veil the Truth or sometimes unveil it.”

“Souls and nodes… That aligns with my theory. What is warp, exactly?”

“That is a question which I cannot answer in the time we have. To simplify, warp is a measure of how close you are to me.”

“Truth… And when people get too close, why does that affect their real bodies?”

“They have too much yet not enough. As I said, warp veils and unveils. It is a lens. If you have too little or too much, it can not create a clear image. Only just the right amount will let you see. And it will let them see.”

The being’s mind indicated to the mind spiders and Eldritch Guardians all around us.

“And if they see, they want to share more. Or protect, depending on what they see.”

“Then what about me? I have too much, right?”

“Correct. You can gain as much as you want because they will never see through you. Instead, they feel at home within your soul. It is like me. You Are.”

There was a power to that word that had a shudder run through my soul. I was no less an eldritch monster than the being I was communicating with. Yet, it changed little. I was still myself. I still had my friends and my new home. Maybe even family. Yes, Safrah and Vivi were family to me. Something like cousins or siblings I was very close to but only visited every few weeks.

“I Am. I see. What about… Alexandra?”

The being stilled. I felt its soul move and do something. Then, the pull from earlier was back. I observed it. Another soul was trying to get something from me. Was this… [Identify]? It felt so superficial. Why? Was the system not deeply ingrained in my being? Had I not evolved with its power?

I let the pull happen and found it took nothing away. The only effect was a slight turn of my Beast Core. Moments later, it was back. This time it came together with a push. It felt very familiar. I let it happen once again.

“FIO!”, a voice screamed into my soul, “Oh my god, you’re alive! Thank the lord! I was so worried!”

“… Alex?”, I asked.

“Yes! Don’t you recognize me? What’s going on? Can you move?”

“Ehm. I’m… not really there right now.”

“… what do you mean, not there? You Status says you’re healthy.”

“What else does it say?”

The pull returned and I let it happen again.

“… sapient, healthy, Beast Core (unique, enriched – medium), metallized, crystallized, ordered, Outside. Outside is capitalized. Also, when did you get level 77?”

“The what now?”

Level 77? When did that happen? I hoped the notifications would be there when I got back to reality…

“Never mind that”, I sent, “I’m outside. Like, fully. In the Empty.”

“What? Really? Let me…”

Silence reigned for a moment, Alex probably reading through the new Status condition. I was equally interested in my Beast Core apparently being enriched now. That seemed like an interesting change. Maybe I could finally use [Eldritch Shift] more readily.

“Okay. You’re like… dead but not dead. Am I understanding that right?”

“That you do”, the being chimed in.

It almost seemed like there was only static on the other end for a few minutes. Eventually, Alex collected herself.

“Who is that?”

“That’s Death. Sort of.”

“Truth would be a more accurate name. Death is only part of me.”

I was concerned we had lost her fully this time. It took a few minutes for an answer to come from my friend.

“Give her back right the fuck now or I’m coming over there to beat the shit out of you!”

The being chuckled. As much as a non-existent thing in a space- and nearly timeless non-reality could. It was a pure emotion of mirth and understanding. Even Alex had received the depth of this particular telepathic communication as her next words showed.

“Oh. Wow. I’m, sorry?”

“You are an interesting being, Alexandra. Your soul is likely even more resilient than the one of my Friend.”

“Is… that so?”

“Yes. Friend asked what you are. I deemed it valuable to have you listen in since you were already trying to do so.”

That took the last bit of wind out of her sails. I could nearly see how the golem sat down and tried to wipe the sweat off her metal forehead. After a minute, she spoke up again.

“Shoot.”

“You are resilient. Your soul was taken by the mind spiders of someone else and preserved to fit their needs. And yet you kept yourself whole. Very few stay the same they were before.”

“Wait”, I jumped in, “Mind spiders take souls to enslave into advanced golems?”

I let my perception sweep over the partially tangible arachnoids all over my nest. They tremble as my attention moved between them.

“Not quite. They do not have that much agency. They are not souls but parts of a soul. If you do not want to use a soul for an advanced golem your mind spiders will not bring one. In turn, you will fail to make an advanced golem.”

I relaxed my thoughts.

“That makes me feel much better.”

“I can’t say the same… “, Alex complained, “Am I even still me?”

“You can never not be you. You Are.”

The meaning reverberated through the telepathic connection. I felt Alex wanting to ask something but by then the noise was too much. Soon after, I was alone with Truth once again.

“Now then. We have a little more time before you are stuck here forever. You should start to figure out how to return.”

My thoughts blinked.

“Forever? You! At least help me then!”

A chuckle of amused entertainment reverberated through the Empty.

“And where would be the fun in that?”