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Draft Blogpost: Being a Vampire Doesn't Suck

Some people want to kill a vampire, some people want to fuck a vampire, but some want to be the vampire. But what do you do when a player wants to be a vampire (or contracts vampirism from a night spent carousing in the wrong pubs)? For some, the answer is that you don’t let them. For instance, D&D’s first true vampire, Sir Fang, the Baron of Blackmoor, was turned into a vampire because his player, David Fant, was working too much to play so Dave Arneson (everyone was named Dave at this time) turned him into a vampire NPC, thereby inspiring the original D&D Cleric, a vampire-hunter. This was only after the 1975 Minnesota Renaissance Fair, Arneson frustrated player Duane Jenkins (Duane must be a variant spelling of “Dave”) who wished to be a child of the night. In Dave’s telling:

Arneson: “One player wanted to be a Vampire. To the point of desperation. The other players went out of their way to kill the vampires. Finally, they were put in a situation where a wish spell was cast. (Generally, I discourage those kinds of spells.) The spell was cast and the player wished to be a vampire. They were passing through a garden in the depths of Blackmoor castle at the time. So he turned into a vampire rose bush. He couldn’t move very fast but often a new player character would stop to check out the bush and prick his finger.”

However, unless there is a good reason against it, I often err on letting the players play as whatever the hell they want. You want to play as a sentient cloud of smoke that eats bad dreams? Alright, we can figure that out. You want to play as the dungeon itself? That sounds fun. Playing as a vampire is honestly not much of a stretch of the imagination if they’re already pretending to be elves and warlocks. 

Vampires are powerful by default. When I ran Vampire Cruise using Into the Odd rules, I had a quick and dirty method for determining whether any of the player characters were vampires and, if so, what their powers were. If the character started with an arcana (a magic item in Into the Odd parlance), instead that meant they were a vampire and the arcana they rolled was their vampiric power. We only had one vampire whose power was to be able to turn into mist at will, which felt sufficiently vampiric to me.

However,  being a vampire shouldn’t be all sunshine and rainbows. Especially the sunshine part. Unless you are explicitly playing an adventure set in a relaxing vacation setting for vampires specifically (surely Vampire Cruise is the only one but perhaps there is a wider genre I am ignorant of), being a vampire shouldn’t be a walk in the park (perhaps someone should write an adventure tilted “A Walk in Vampire Park”). For instance, when I was a wee lad playing Oblivion, I contracted vampirism (there called “Porphyric Hemophilia”) and while I was at first excited by the substantial boosts to my attributes, skills, and weapon resistance, I soon learned that I had to fear for my life in the sun if I hadn’t fed that day. Especially cruel was the fact that you couldn’t fast travel when taking sunlight damage so if you fast traveled to a location and the sun rose between you leaving and arriving, you basically were condemned to death upon arrival. But that was great because it made being a vampire a real lifestyle choice. I had to plan the rest of my game around it, either feeding frequently when I knew I had to be above ground or else staying in the shadows as much as I could. Being a vampire wasn’t just a boon, it was a curse too.

My own dear mother always intoned to me that vampirism is like a box of chocolates in that it is impossible to predict with certainty what you will receive. No two vampires should have precisely the same set of powers and drawbacks (or at least there should be enough variety that such is exceedingly rare). For that reason, in addition to the powers and weaknesses standard to all vampires, each vampire should have a special power and weakness particular only to that vampire. 

The bite from a vampire is not sufficient to contract vampirism. Instead, the vampire must kill you entirely. After this occurs, you enter a catatonic state for 3d6 hours. When you wake, you are a vampire. Congratulations!

All vampires have a set of default powers and weaknesses outlined below. These are in addition to all of the vampire’s abilities it had in life (unlike when a player character becomes a ghost). Additionally, each vampire has a unique power and weakness, each of which is determined by rolling on the applicable tables below. 

Default Vampirism Powers

A vampire grows in power the more frequently they drink the blood of the living.

If you haven’t fed in the prior 7 nights, you have the following powers:

If you have fed at least once in the prior 7 nights, you have the following powers, in addition to those above:

If you have fed a number of times equal to half your level or more in the prior 7 nights, you have the following powers, in addition to those above:

If you have fed a number of times equal to your level or more in the prior 7 nights, you have the following powers, in addition to those above:

Default Vampirism Weaknesses

Unique Vampire Power

Every vampire has a special power that sets them apart from others. Roll on the below table for your special power. This power is available as long as you have fed at least once in the prior 7 nights.

| **1d20** | **Unique Vampire Power** | 

|---|---|

| 1 | You can transform into a snake once per night. | 

| 2 | You can transform into a butterfly once per night. | 

| 3 | You can transform into a white horse once per night. | 

| 4 | You can transform into a large taloned bird once per night. | 

| 5 | You can transform into a black unicorn once per night. |

| 6 | You can summon and command up to 4d6 ravens once per night. | 

| 7 | You can summon and command up to 3d6 foxes once per night. | 

| 8 | You can summon and command up to 2d6 leopards once per night. | 

| 9 | You can cast the Sleep spell at will. | 

| 10 | You can cast the Ventriloquism spell at will. | 

| 11 | You can cast the Control Weather spell once per night.  | 

| 12 | You can cast the Move Earth spell once per night. | 

| 13 | You can read the mind of living beings when they look into your eyes. | 

| 14 | You automatically succeed on tests to deceive when the target is looking into your eyes. | 

| 15 | Anyone who looks at you must succeed on a saving throw against petrification or be turned to stone. They can attempt to avert their eyes from you but incur disadvantage to hit you and you gain advantage to hit them with attacks if they do so. If you see your own reflection (only possible in pools of blood), you must save or be petrified. | 

| 16 | You can unlock any door as long as no living creature is sleeping on the other side. | 

| 17 | Once per night, you can let loose a shriek that deafens all within earshot unless they succeed on saving throw. | 

| 18 | Once per night, you can spit boiling blood at opponents, which has the same effectiveness as a young dragon’s firebreath. | 

| 19 | Once per night, you can spit blood into the mouth of a willing living creature and heal them 3d6 hit points, but they must obey your commands for the next hour. | 

| 20 | You do not take damage in sunlight and lose your vampiric appearance but instead lose any memory that you are a vampire while the sun shines on you. Your only memories while this occurs is that you are an apprentice bookkeeper named Reginald with a fondness for honey. | 

Unique Vampire Weakness

Every vampire also has one weakness unique to them. Amateur vampire-hunters may mistakenly assume all vampires, for instance, have an aversion to sour cream and meet their death ill-equiped.  

| **1d20** | **Unique Vampire Weakness** | 

|---|---|

| 1 | Any light reflected from a mirror deals damage to you as if it were sunlight. | 

| 2 | You cannot enter a room where candles are lit. | 

| 3 | You cannot transform into any of your other forms if you are currently inhaling smoke. | 

| 4 | You cannot refuse pipeweed if offered, but smoking pipeweed causes you to lose your Hunter’s Sight power until next sunset. | 

| 5 | You are not able to walk on consecrated ground. If you unintentionally step on consecrated ground, your feet burst into flames which deals 2d6 damage to you per turn. |

| 6 | If a funeral service, which must include the presence of at least one living relative, is performed for you in your presence, you must save versus death or die permanently. | 

| 7 | You must always carry a vial of vinegar on your person. If you are without a vial of vinegar, your every action must be directed to obtaining one. If you don’t obtain replacement vinegar by nightfall, you must save versus death or die (but may be revived if vinegar is poured in your mouth). | 

| 8 | You have the same aversion to lemons that you do to garlic, and lemons have the same impact on you as does garlic. | 

| 9 | You have the same aversion to peaches that you do to garlic, and peaches have the same impact on you as does garlic. | 

| 10 | You cannot cross over lines made of rice grains. If you are encircled by rice, you must obey a single command by whomever poured the rice. | 

| 11 | You have the same aversion to wild rose branches as you do to holy symbols. If you are offered a red rose, you must accept and cannot attack the person who offered it until next sunset.  | 

| 12 | You cannot harm anyone who has eaten bread baked with your blood mixed into the flour in the prior day. | 

| 13 | You cannot harm anyone who has eaten soil from a grave in the prior day. | 

| 14 | If someone asks you for a glass of wine, you must give them a glass. You cannot attack them or target them with any of your spells or abilities until you have furnished them with a glass, whether or not they drink it. | 

| 15 | You cannot tell lies to a cleric. If a cleric asks you a question, you must answer. | 

| 16 | You must be the last person to leave a social gathering. If you are forced to leave early, you must save versus death or be cured of vampirism. | 

| 17 | Any living being who is actively holding their breath is invisible to you until they take their next breath. | 

| 18 | If a bag of coins is dropped within your eyesight, you must stop and count the coins. If the coins are silver, you must attempt to return them to whomever dropped them. | 

| 19 | You melt when exposed to salt water. You take 2d6 damage per turn for every foot of salt water you are submerged in. A splash of salt water doesn’t deal damage but is uncomfortable. | 

| 20 | A sword made of wood acts as a +1 sword when used against you. If a wooden sword strikes the blow against you that drops you to 0 hit points, you die permanently. | 

Who Is Hunting You?

If you are a vampire, someone always wants you dead. Often many people want you dead. It is probably the general consensus. But there is at least one person who will hunt you to the end of the earth to ensure you are dead.

| **1d12** | **Your Vampire-Hunter** | 

|---|---|

| 1 | **Cyborg Van Helsing**. A doctor, professor, lawyer, philosopher, scientist, and metaphysician with a chainsaw for an arm has killed every vampire in the far future and is now traveling through time to kill the few he missed. You’re next on his list. | 

| 2 | **Big-Game Hunter**. The most dangerous animal of all to kill isn’t man; it’s a vampire. This eccentric aristocrat has given you a sporting head-start but now will pursue you to the end of the earth until your staked, taxidermied corpse adorns his opulent chateau. | 

| 3 | **The Law**. The powers that be have decreed vampirism a crime, not just against nature but by law. Wanted posters festoon every city street, and guards know all your aliases. It is only a matter of time until you are brought to justice. | 

| 4 | **Meddlesome Priest**. Your very existence is an affront to the gods. A singular priest has taken it upon himself to send you to hell where you belong. They have no shortage of holy symbols or holy water. | 

| 5 | **Kids on Bikes**. None of the adults believe them, but these kids are onto you. They know just what you are and they seek to expose you and even kill you if they can. These meddling kids, and their dog, won’t let you keep getting away with it. |

| 6 | **Necromancer**. This wizard doesn’t want to kill you. It’s much worse–they want to control you and turn them into another one of their undead weapons that they can sicc upon the rest of the world. If they have their way, you will be their thrall, not the other way around. | 

| 7 | **Investigative Journalist**. Some things just weren’t adding up and this dogooder is seeking the truth. But to get to the truth, they have to go through you. They know what you are and they have figured out how to defeat you. But no one believes them, at least not yet. | 

| 8 | **Estranged Relative**. Perhaps your sibling, your parent, your child, or just a distant cousin, but whoever they are, they see your mere existence as an embarrassment to the family. They may try to cure your vampirism, but won’t balk at killing you instead if a cure isn’t feasible. | 

| 9 | **School Cheerleader**. Although not yet graduated from their schooling, they were born with a preternatural ability to combat the undead, particularly vampires. You are just another monster of the week standing in the way of them and fulfilling their destiny. | 

| 10 | **Mad Scientist**. Obsessed with conquering death, they have set their imagination on you as the potential answer to their empirical questions about the nature of life and unlife. And they don’t want to just sit you down and ask you questions. They want to chain you up in their garlic-filled laboratory where they can dissect you and watch how your flesh regenerates itself. | 

| 11 | **Werewolf**. Werewolves and vampires are natural enemies. Like witches and vampires. Or dhampirs and vampires. Or vampires and other vampires. Damn vampires, they ruined Transylvania! But seriously, werewolves are an ancient enemy to all vampirekind and can’t fight their instinct to hunt you down and kill you.  | 

| 12 | **Rival Vampire**. Perhaps they are the vampire that made you. Or you are the vampire that made them. Or you two just plain don’t like each other. Whatever the cause, you two have bad blood, and they know your every weakness–after all, they have the same ones. Who will stake whom first? | 




Draft Blogpost: Being a Vampire Doesn't Suck

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