Earworm Revised & Extended!

LP/MHA Shenannigans Improved on…because I found some idears

——

In another world, where gods and magic are real, dimensions have collapsed and intertwined, and quirks are not society’s driving force, two individuals got on the wrong side of a very powerful witch. Now, they are in a Japan not too dissimilar to their own. Only, something called Quirks were everywhere.

“So if I understand this right,” Pro Hero Eraserhead rubbed his brows. “These two teenagers were ‘magically’ displaced by a Bableyager-“

“Baba Yaga.” The male of the duo muttered. He grunted when the girl elbowed him.

“After they stole her house? For, the god of thieves?” Eraserhead stared at the detective that called him in.

“They’re either BOTH crazy and have the same story to a t, or they’re telling the truth.” Tsukauchi said. Eraserhead gave a slow blink.

“Well, Quirks exist, so…sure. Eldritch magic. Why not?”

“How can you understand us?” Aizawa asked the two.

“We listen real good.” The girl dressed like a punk snarked.

“Tree Girl, not helping.” The boy wearing white sighed. “Honestly? I was raised by The Letoides, I know a lot of languages.”

“…The Greek Gods of the Sun and Moon, you mean?” Tsukauchi asked. Aizawa dropped his head into his hands.

“Yeah. Mom was pretty strict, either Greek or Roman—“

“What?”

“It’s called ‘Greco-Roman’ for a reason.” The boy, Naruto, deadpanned. “They have split personalities. Well, Mom did anyway. Uncle Fred was pretty much the same.”

“Uh-huh. And why is that?”

“‘The Romans couldn’t improve upon perfection.’ His words.” The haunted exhaustion in Naruto’s eyes made Aizawa slightly sympathetic.

“Okay so your mother had a mental disorder and your uncle was a narcissist.”

“No. My uncle is an idiot with a fat head.”

“…I thought you said you had a good relationship with him?”

“I do.”

“Then why-?”

“Truth hurts.”

Tsukauchi snorted.

—

“No.”

“Aizawa.”

“No.”

“Eraserhead—“

“I’m not adopting more problem children.”

“You know, we ARE legal adults.” Thalia grumbled.

——

Next Day

—

“Hey, sweetie, I know you probably can’t understand me but my name is—“

“Charred Meat if you don’t get the fuck out of my way.” Thalia glared at the fifteen year old boy that was trying to flirt with her. She held up a crackling fist. “I will—“

“Whoa! We even have similar quirks! It’s like it was destin—“ Kaminari cut himself off as a hand gently clasped his shoulder. He turned to look at glowing red eyes and a small scowl on the new guy’s face.

“Think real hard before you finish flirting with my girlfriend.” Naruto whispered. “Real hard.”

Chargebolt turned into Jammingway (Thalia absorbed the lightning like a rod) and Yaaayed himself out of the conversation.

“…Holy shit, and that happens every time he discharges?” Thalia muttered. Talk about backfiring power.

——

“My quirk is hardening! I can harden my body and tank hits! But I get too tired, I can’t get hard.” Red Shark or whatever said to Whiskers. The blond teen stared at him, and slowly arched a brow.

“Yeah. That’s generally how basic biology works…”

“Wh-Do other people get Hard!?”

“All the time. Since the dawn of man. It’s probably happening as we speak.”

“Aw man, and I thought I had a chance with my Quirk—“

“Hold that thought—Whiskers, stop screwing with the idiot.” Thalia finally turned away from her conversation with Jiro about how no, metal and punk were not similar and yes, metal was the superior genre.

“He started it.” Whiskers deadpanned.

“Huh?!” Crimson Jaws blinked.

“You kept talking about your gross Quirk. All I asked was why aren't you wearing a shirt, and you started talking about your erections.”

——

“So, uh, have you and your girlfriend…y’know…” The Grapist waggled his brow.

“…I feel like dignifying that with an answer would be akin to acknowledging you having a slim chance of doing the same. So, for as long as I’m alive, until you can prove to have a shred of possible decency, I’m going to ignore your existence outside of any worth other than that of a PUNCHING BAG.”

“…Damn, you could’ve just said no.” Kaminari blinked. Naruto arched a brow.

“Why would I lie?”

The 1-A boys in the common room and adjoining kitchen stopped what they were doing. They stared at their ‘sitter’ for the night. Then, his words registered.

“Eeehhhhh?!?!?”

—-

“So…have you and your Whiskers—?” The alien started before Thalia clapped a hand on her shoulder and stared her in the eye.

“The amount of life you have left on this planet greatly depends on whether or not you have the braincells to register these next words: Do not, use MY name, for MY boyfriend. Got it?”

“Yep.” The Alien squeaked. Sparking eyes met the gaze of every other girl present.

“That goes for the rest of you.”

“Understood!”

“Great, looks like you all get to live another day.” Thalia grinned. She sat back to lean against the headboard of Moyoromo’s bed and crossed her arms. “So, rephrase your question?”

“…Tooru, you ask.”

“Wh-What!?” The nudist (gods she was just abusing that lack of visual presence) squeaked. “No, Mina you started this-!”

“Toru, if I breathe wrong she might kill me.”

“That’s not inaccurate.” Thalia shrugged off the questioning stares. She was often times her Deadbeat Dad’s daughter.

“…Did…okay…Don’t kill me—” Nudist pled, but Thalia went deadpan.

“Not helping your case.”

“Oh I can guess what this is about.” Frog girl blinked and met Thalia’s gaze. “Did you have sex with your boyfriend?”

“Not that it’s any of your business.” Thalia snorted. She wouldn’t be able to leave this room without either answering or leaving behind some bodies, and one of those was significantly more troublesome than the other. Regrettably, she’d have to bite the bullet and do the worse option: answer. Thalia sighed. “Gods! Why do hormones do this? Yes, I have slept with MY boyfriend. You wanna bone something? Find your own.”

——

“Oh god dammit!! I thought that I was done with this Wall shit!!” Thalia groaned and reached for the post training picture one of the students had taken.

“No, Kero! You gotta leave that one! You don’t know how hard I worked to get it, Kero!”

“Aha! Your offer to sacrifice yourself is welcomed!”

—

“So,” Naruto watched his girlfriend work at the stove within their apartment adjacent to the Heights Alliance dorms. “Why did you ask me if I wanted frog legs tonight if we’re having one of your ‘garbage’ pizzas?”

Thalia stopped chopping the peppers that were going on her side.

“…You made another Wall.”

“…What the fuck does tha—Oh, no. Not this shit again.”

“Stop being so goddamn sexy, Whiskers.”

“I literally have no desire to be.”

“Well stop it anyway!”