INTEMPERANCE VIII - Chapter 19, South Island Blur
Added 2024-07-28 09:13:48 +0000 UTCThe tale of the trip to New Zealand and some tension that is starting to develop among some of the characters. Let me know what you think.
Comments
> obviously I can’t play a drop D live because I only play my Strat onstage and I can’t fuckin’ retune it between songs and then retune it back to normal for the next song Why can't he? You only have to adjust one string by one step. All you're doing is turning one knob. That's totally doable on stage between songs.
JC
2024-08-30 11:50:51 +0000 UTCTypo: "with two seperate versions"
JC
2024-08-30 11:24:52 +0000 UTCYou clearly have pressing issues with the Celia/Jake/Laura relationship adjustment, and I like the turn with Laura's mom. But I was wondering if we would see a quarterly meeting soon - it would be interesting to see what off season earnings and expenditures look like. Also maybe good to catch up with Greg or Tiff, even Mindy and see whats going on in their worlds. Just supporting my goal of keeping you writing. :)
HAMBARCA22
2024-07-31 16:14:56 +0000 UTCYeah, my sense of and understanding of directions on a map (as well as in the real world), normally quite sound, get screwed up for some reason when I'm looking at an island. I did the same thing for Catalina in an earlier scene, though I caught that one. I'll fix them. Thanks for pointing it out.
Al Steiner
2024-07-30 20:01:45 +0000 UTCNotes: About three miles away, on Columbo Street just off one of the main thoroughfares Colombo Street fly from Ashburton to the outskirts of Christchurch and then turn northeast and fly across the Canterbury Plains toward the mountains, Turning from Christchurch toward the mountains is flying northwest, not northeast (and of course Mt Cook itself is almost due west of Christchurch) She turned to the northwest, heading back toward Christchurch and settled in to watch the altimeter slowly spin upward. Similarly, Christchurch is northeast of Ashburton She banked left and put them on a heading of 260, which would lead them to a pass through the Southern Alps just three miles from Mount Cook. This is a course just south of west, not the northwest (or northeast) course mentioned earlier Now she could see the true beauty and majesty of the Southern Alps Mountain range in front of them. Mountain should probably not be capitalized here it was eight blocks to Revel Street, Revell And another Revel that needs to be fixed in the next paragraph They set up a couple of assembly lines of sort, of sorts? of a sort? The swells were rolling in from the southwest and were six to eight feet in height with six to eight seconds between one wave and the next. Leaving Lyttleton harbor, swells from the southwest would be coming out of the harbor or from the shore; should this be southeast, and thus from the open ocean, to the side of their course ought of the harbor? and afforded them a good view of the west coast of South Island. Similarly, they're looking at the east coast of the island it showed us his tail and disappeared.” Probably should say "its tail" to keep with the non-gendered pronouns used elsewhere for the whale (though Jake doesn't have to speak entirely correctly, especially when he's excited) Finally, the fish breeched the surface breached
mdapkins
2024-07-30 16:14:14 +0000 UTCThanks for the chapter, drama piling on top of drama, looking forward to the next chapter. I was going to make a note about my difficulty figuring out which fish you meant by "groper", but then you clarified it a page later; way ahead of us as always.
mdapkins
2024-07-30 16:13:50 +0000 UTCWhen I was about twelve years old through my late teens, my grandmother used to take the entire family to Hawaii each Christmas break. I remember how odd it was to see Christmas lights, trees, and other decorations when everyone was walking around in shorts and swimwear and it was 80 degrees out.
Al Steiner
2024-07-29 00:00:28 +0000 UTCNo Dr. Pepper? That's unamerican!
Al Steiner
2024-07-28 16:49:36 +0000 UTCYes Al a very enjoyable chapter having visited Auckland myself - My wife and I live in the UK where we drive on the correct side of the road! (ask the Japanese who seem to manufacture many of the world's automobiles) We have friends from the UK that emigrated to Sydney about 20 years ago and each year on Christmas day when we occasionally have snow they phone us to tell us they are enjoying a BBQ on Bondi beach and the air temp is about 30C or a touch more and they cant get a Christmas tree to stay up in the sand!
David Stewart
2024-07-28 13:09:49 +0000 UTCI would say Dr Pepper would be super niche in New Zealand Like it is in Australia.
James Harrold
2024-07-28 12:23:43 +0000 UTCI continue to enjoy the story and don’t usually nitpick, but living in New Zealand, I have never seen Dr Pepper in any store, and certainly not New World. Not that it really matters but your detail is fantastic.
Terry Friedrichs
2024-07-28 11:08:33 +0000 UTC
