INTEMPERANCE VII - Chapter 17, Teach Me
Added 2024-07-16 03:32:22 +0000 UTCMy medical leave has been extended until mid-August. I'm actually doing well. The original problem that put me in the hospital has resolved. I just need to work on recovering the stamina to go back to working 12 hour shifts with 8-10 thousand steps per shift. PT is helping with that. In any case, my writing pace of late continues. This chapter answers a few questions brought up by some of you in the last chapter and has a healthy dose of Matt in it. Let me know what you think, keep those error reports coming in (they are very helpful) and I will keep editing, writing, and healing here in the sweltering heat of the Sacramento Valley.
Comments
Matt's not doing great, Jake's got wife worries, but damnit, Perspectives is finally going to get recorded! Nice chapter, Al. Thanks for this.
Adam Driscoll
2024-08-16 09:09:57 +0000 UTCMeanwhile, I'm starting to think (hope?) Caydee's first time being professionally recorded will be on one of Matt's solo albums.
William Cleveland
2024-07-27 19:00:49 +0000 UTCI will give no spoiler. I never actually said that Matt was going to die, just that his Strat ends up in the Smithsonian in 2005.
Al Steiner
2024-07-21 22:52:31 +0000 UTCAfter reading this chapter, i get the feeling you are going to kill Matt of, either on intemperances next tour, or after they record their next album.
Mads Nielsen
2024-07-21 21:07:41 +0000 UTCJust read next, this story is epic.
Robar
2024-07-21 20:49:20 +0000 UTCI am just a huge fan of this story, I had some questions / feelings about the plot... 1) Is C just putting music on hold during the baby part? feels like she is not part of the music plot anymore. 2) how much brown stuff is going to hit the fan when she does not want to give up the marriage.... Any case, thank you for the effort, I am basically dropping SOL as it is getting really boring there.
AJN
2024-07-21 05:07:32 +0000 UTCIf she did, it would happen off-page and not be mentioned. Her part in the story was wrapped up when she went to Jake's concert. Going further into her mind would not serve to move the story forward at this point.
Al Steiner
2024-07-19 19:52:37 +0000 UTCHi Al was just wonder if Michelle Borrows might become disillusioned with the Catholic Church from the sex scandals and come clean with how her article was changed?
James Harrold
2024-07-18 23:14:24 +0000 UTCOh no, I got my Roman numerals wrong. I meant to write “I love Intemperance, from 1 through 8”. I very much like the current book. Thanks for your quick response. You are a wonderful writer, in ALL of your works. Your plots are clear and engaging, your characters are deep and involved and they act and talk like real people. I re-read ‘Aftermath’ and ‘Greenies’ every few years, and it gets better each time. Thanks again.
Terry Ward
2024-07-18 13:13:15 +0000 UTCI'm sorry if you're not enjoying Book VIII, but I'm kind of committed to finishing up the story at this point and I have found I cannot work on more than one thing at a time. I am also unlikely to write any sequels to the stories you mentioned except MAYBE 'In the Four-Four" even when I am done with Intemperance. The strictly stroke stories were all written more than twenty years ago, and I have moved on from that sort of thing.
Al Steiner
2024-07-18 00:43:41 +0000 UTCHello, Al, I love Intemperance, from 1 through 7. However, if you are bored in your recovery, and looking for literary avenues to explore, perhaps you could revisit some of your SOL stories, and write some sequels or new chapters in some of your treasures, such as ‘Sleeping Over’ or ‘Stacy’ or ‘In the Four-Four’ ? A respectful suggestion from a longtime fan.
Terry Ward
2024-07-17 23:46:42 +0000 UTCWhut can I say, you’re riting is top notch, so its hard to find sumething to criticise! 😃
TexanInParis
2024-07-17 20:54:57 +0000 UTCThank you!
Al Steiner
2024-07-17 20:50:38 +0000 UTCA credit card is a rectangle. Perhaps I should have said narrow side instead.
Al Steiner
2024-07-17 20:49:56 +0000 UTC“Using the narrow end of the credit card as a spatula, he scooped up the marijuana…” Since when do credit cards have a narrow end? Made me think it was trapezoid in shape. Maybe “one of the narrow edges”.
TexanInParis
2024-07-17 19:49:35 +0000 UTCi have always thought the promise to give him back was odd. If you really feel all three of you are married equals, then you shouldn't care about who is technically married. Maybe the logical step is for Jake and Celia to divorce, and then have Laura & Jake not remarry? Then all are equal in the relationship.
HAMBARCA22
2024-07-17 14:03:16 +0000 UTCThis is a great chapter! It envelops so many 🔝 aspects, Cayden, Matt, drugs, flying, the 3 of them, especially the music…can be painful but that is life. Great chapter
Robar
2024-07-17 03:37:06 +0000 UTCThanks. I have corrected the ones that needed correction in the edit, which will be posted later today.
Al Steiner
2024-07-16 21:06:58 +0000 UTCNotes: 'Give’s me fuckin’ piece of mind' Gives, peace 'Celia took Cap and Caydee into the master suit to get them bathed' suite 'while Caydee continued to play the riff to support him.. That led' Double period 'They have a few dispensaries in Pasa Robles' Paso 'with alternating versions that would likely be played in alternating order' Seems odd to use "alternating" twice in quick succession. Maybe "alternate" or "alternative" for the first one? 'enjoying with his stoned mind, a new riff from the best rock guitarist' Either add a comma after "enjoying", or remove this comma (I think the second scans better, as there's already a comma right before "enjoying") 'Jake grilled up some New York steaks and served them' New York strip steaks? New York strips? (On further investigation it seems "New York steak" is an accepted term, but it's one I was not familiar with; this could just be a me issue) 'There were statements out there to proclaimed if it wasn’t for' to proclaim/that proclaimed
mdapkins
2024-07-16 16:41:38 +0000 UTCThanks for the chapter Al! Good to hear you're feeling better, and getting back into shape. And in the meantime, we get to enjoy more chapters.
mdapkins
2024-07-16 16:40:58 +0000 UTCAs you said, we'll see how it shakes out. The characters, I should mention, will remain in character for what is to come. And being married to Jake is important to Laura and Jake both, particularly Laura, as evidenced by her making Celia promise to give him back when she was done and her concerns in this chapter.
Al Steiner
2024-07-16 16:30:13 +0000 UTCThat was already mentioned in her first day of school chapter. It will likely occur at some point. Maybe from the teacher's perspective? I kind of like that idea.
Al Steiner
2024-07-16 16:27:34 +0000 UTCUh-oh, we'll see how this shakes out. Even though nothing will actually change on the inside, C and Jake's relationship is legitimate on the outside now, which apparently matters to C and probably her parents, whereas it really doesn't matter to Laura and Jake. I wonder if they'll modify the plan? P.S. Even your stories from 20 years ago touched on how miserable it was in the valley in summer; I can't imagine how it's been this summer.
Tim Keenan
2024-07-16 15:54:35 +0000 UTCCaydee is by far my favorite character in the story. It'd be great if she could take her guitar to school and perform some tunes for her classmates, perhaps during a show and tell or at a school talent show. Moo-zick for the peoples!
Kevin Gates
2024-07-16 14:58:53 +0000 UTCI think I've had this discussion before. I go with calendar seasons when writing a line like that (although they are heading to a place where the summer solstice will be taking place). I just associate December with winter in my mind. I may actually change it to 'almost winter day' instead.
Al Steiner
2024-07-16 14:38:53 +0000 UTCGreat chapter. Interesting mini-cliffhanger at the end. It’s realistic for the triple relationship to potentially have a little strife. Relationships are complex, even with only two people involved. It’s been pretty smooth sailing for our heroes thus far.
Eric
2024-07-16 12:28:45 +0000 UTCfound a few typo's.... line 16 page 3 "He shook a deep breath" I think should have been "He took a deep breath", page 14 line 3 "just now why we should be" I think should have been "while we should", and page 15 line 3 "focuses" I believe should be "focused" Love the story as usual, thank-you for a wonderful story
Leslie Sanders
2024-07-16 09:42:13 +0000 UTCDepends on whether one refers to astronomical or meteorological seasons: https://www.ncei.noaa.gov/news/meteorological-versus-astronomical-seasons
Alle Joeng
2024-07-16 09:32:42 +0000 UTCI've done much worse cliffhangers than that. That's a baby cliffhanger.
Al Steiner
2024-07-16 05:52:37 +0000 UTCMost of the damage from that quake was in Pasa Robles and Atascadero and it was done to taller, older, unreinforced buildings. Virtually no single story buildings were significantly damaged in those two cities. Casa Kingsley is a modern, single story building a considerable distance away. Westin and Sean and the Nerdlys would have felt the quake without a doubt, but likely would not have suffered any damage besides things falling off the walls or shelves. Their structures would have been fine. Some of the musical instruments might have fallen off their racks at The Campus, but it too is a reasonably modern building and would have fared well.
Al Steiner
2024-07-16 05:50:14 +0000 UTCMeh. Thanks for the cliffhanger. Not. :-P
Matthias Urlichs
2024-07-16 05:47:52 +0000 UTCLarry Martel
2024-07-16 05:13:13 +0000 UTCGood point. And I know better too. I will change it to late autumn in the edit.
Al Steiner
2024-07-16 04:31:20 +0000 UTCGood chapter with a fine sex scene. The first sentences technically wrong though, because December 12 is still fall.
Greg Dobbs
2024-07-16 04:20:16 +0000 UTC