INTEMPERANCE VIII - Chapter 12, Movin' On Up
Added 2024-06-24 00:18:02 +0000 UTCThis was a fun chapter for me to write even though it starts off with some sadness. It covers Caydee's first day of kindergarten and goes into more detail and character building of the two new characters introduced in the last chapter. As always, let me know how I'm doing and keep the suggestions flowing. I don't always use them, but many times I do and you, my patrons, help shape the story.
Comments
I'm catching up still and the only idea I've had so far is it would be cool if Jake played as a solo artist for the deployed troops at some point. I was in the army band and a lot of interesting people came to play while we were deployed. It could be a plot device for him sorting out his political feelings and opens up lots of interesting scenarios. I'd be willing to answer any questions.
Michael Holzhausen
2024-11-17 04:04:15 +0000 UTC"No one with extreme environmental views, no animal rights activists" -- why those particularly? Where does that come from?
JC
2024-08-29 10:01:31 +0000 UTCI haven't specifically mentioned it, but I would think they would allow all of their older material to be available there in high quality format, but nothing of their newest material while CD sales are still the primary means of sales profit.
Al Steiner
2024-06-25 15:49:04 +0000 UTCDon't forget that Celia's parents will soon by living nearby. And I never said the teacher was divorced, just single.
Al Steiner
2024-06-25 15:46:36 +0000 UTCJust wondering how KVA is going to deal with the iTunes Store as that came out in early 2003.
James Harrold
2024-06-25 07:14:45 +0000 UTCalso handed her over to Laura. > handed him over to Laura.
James Harrold
2024-06-25 06:50:40 +0000 UTCYou are right, a quite fun chapter! Can’t help but think we will see Elsa a time or two to visit. And can’t wait to see Sean and Westins family become kinda family. Then there is the divorced PE teacher father who will make waves and try to intrude….happy crazy future story lines! Great entertainment.
Robar
2024-06-25 05:30:59 +0000 UTCI don't do epilogues until the entire primary story is told. And even when I do, they are very detailed. Examples: Homebodies, A Perfect World, Aftermath, and Doing it All Over.
Al Steiner
2024-06-24 21:15:14 +0000 UTCI vote you avoid the ending of the story merely because you've hit a chapter target. Many stories undeservingly receive a brief epilogue that hastily concludes important plot elements with scant detail, which would not serve justice to your epic story.
Kevin Gates
2024-06-24 19:28:20 +0000 UTCI have been anticipating that the story would end since Book III, yet it keeps going on because there is so much story to tell. I am not deliberately dragging it out, it just comes out of my head the way it comes out. Someone mentioned to me a few chapters back that Elsa had to be near retirement age at that point and that was something I had already been turning around in my head. Thus, Elsa retired and needed to be replaced, thus the two new characters. I have known since book I where the story is ultimately going, I just had no idea how many books it would take to get there. In other words, there may very well be a Book nine because I don't think I can wrap everything up in only twelve or so more chapters.
Al Steiner
2024-06-24 19:17:08 +0000 UTCIt is surprising that as we reach chapter 12, there are still new characters emerging. Do you anticipate that the Intemperance story will conclude within this book? One might expect that several plot threads would be wrapping up by now. Nevertheless, the prospect of a ninth book would certainly be welcomed.
Kevin Gates
2024-06-24 18:56:27 +0000 UTCThanks. Will fix in today's edit.
Al Steiner
2024-06-24 14:47:44 +0000 UTCYep. Will fix.
Al Steiner
2024-06-24 14:46:41 +0000 UTCWill fix in edit. Thanks.
Al Steiner
2024-06-24 14:46:21 +0000 UTC“I’ll do it, Celia said. She plucked Cap from Jake’s arms and handed her over to Laura. “Here you go, Teach. Keep an eye on this thing for me.” -> missing double quote at the beginning
Richem
2024-06-24 13:24:13 +0000 UTC“All right,” Celia said. “Time to hit the road.” (shouldn't it be Elsa saying?"
J
2024-06-24 13:19:36 +0000 UTCThey were doing quite well, incorporating Jake’s “suggestions” into their tunes, drilling them into their collective memoriesl. -> memories.
Richem
2024-06-24 13:16:07 +0000 UTCThanks, will fix in the edit.
Al Steiner
2024-06-24 03:33:39 +0000 UTCstored in neatly in the linen closet ..it neatly.. verified the two address they ..two addresses..
RLDel
2024-06-24 03:10:37 +0000 UTCHeartbroken to see Elsa go, of course, though I’m sure we will see her again someday. Sean and Westin are exciting new additions to the homestead, and I can’t wait to see the storylines that emerge from the new dynamic.
Greg Coleman
2024-06-24 01:44:47 +0000 UTC'This chapter was very good laying the groundwork for future chapters in this unique lifestyle. Enjoyed it thank you....
Tim Wendel
2024-06-24 01:23:36 +0000 UTCElsa may have the occasional cameo. After all, Jake sometimes has to fly down to Orange County to meet with Matt. And, like with Helen, I would not read too much into the teacher character. She simply resembles my daughter's kindergarten teacher back in the day (though I do not know about the real teacher's sex life). I will fix the chicken thing after the rest of the error reports come in and I do the edit.
Al Steiner
2024-06-24 01:13:32 +0000 UTCFun chapter, if also a bit of a sad start. Do you think the Kingsley clan will see Elsa again in the future, socially? Seemed like a fairly permanent goodbye... I'm intrigued by the sexy kindergarten teacher....."Hot for Teacher" as a future chapter title? :D One minor edit for this chapter -- the chicken dish is spelled "marsala."
Eric
2024-06-24 00:46:34 +0000 UTC
