INTEMPERANCE VIII - Chapter 11, Changing of the Guard
Added 2024-06-09 06:00:57 +0000 UTCA transitional chapter and one that moves things a little further down the road and introduces some new characters. A possible squick for a some readers in this one but what I'm talking will become clear quickly so just skip forward a bit if you're not into that sort of thing. As always, let me know how I'm doing.
Comments
Forget Matt, what about Charlie?
William Cleveland
2024-07-03 20:05:16 +0000 UTCCOME ON, You have to be dying to use the name "rand Oldfellow " again :-) I still laugh when I think about it.
Mark WEISS
2024-06-29 16:20:18 +0000 UTCNo promises, but I'll see what I can do.
Al Steiner
2024-06-21 21:50:59 +0000 UTCThere have been many mentions about the Nerdlys being mostly kosher as they are Jewish. They have been known to cheat a bit at times. And the Kingsleys wanting a pool has been mentioned multiple times in previous chapters.
Al Steiner
2024-06-21 21:49:30 +0000 UTCI'm sure. I named it after the elementary school that I attended.
Al Steiner
2024-06-21 21:46:31 +0000 UTCUnrelated but it would fun/interesting to have a Mindy Snow, Greg Oldfellow sighting
Mark WEISS
2024-06-17 21:54:25 +0000 UTCthought the same thing. I think it will put an interesting path for the story
Mark WEISS
2024-06-17 21:47:11 +0000 UTCWho? The gay guys?
JC
2024-06-14 22:39:50 +0000 UTCCan't wait to see how Matt deals with them — and they, him.
wulf losee
2024-06-11 22:01:25 +0000 UTCHappy to see some gay characters in honor of Pride month!!
JC
2024-06-11 13:51:01 +0000 UTCNotes: Jake asked as he stowed the suitcase in the cargo department after weighing it. department->compartment? On Sunday, instead going to mass instead of going Sean Morgon was apparently the spokesperson Is it "Morgon" or "Morgan" (he's later introduced as Sean Morgan)
mdapkins
2024-06-10 16:39:57 +0000 UTCThanks for the chapter, Al. Sad to see Elsa departing, but it looks like we have some new fun characters introduced. Looking forward to the next one!
mdapkins
2024-06-10 16:39:30 +0000 UTCI love this chapter!
JC
2024-06-10 12:05:12 +0000 UTCafter a quick google search - are you guys sure it's not "Nichols"?
JC
2024-06-10 11:02:52 +0000 UTCand here I was wondering if there was actually a John T Nicholas school!
JC
2024-06-10 09:59:44 +0000 UTCOk, I'm really confused. Did I miss something? When did Nerdly start keeping kosher? and when did Jake decide to get a pool?
JC
2024-06-10 09:58:54 +0000 UTCYeah pretty sure that's what Al meant. It is super hot and not the first time it's appeared in Al's fiction - the other Meghan (the vampire one) was really into it!
JC
2024-06-10 09:57:56 +0000 UTCHa!
JC
2024-06-10 09:57:07 +0000 UTCNot quite all fruits! Fun fact: the fruit of a tree in its first three years is not kosher.
JC
2024-06-10 09:56:48 +0000 UTCExcellent chapter! One note, though: when Andre is talking about the wine marketing, he says "free reign". It should be "free rein". The expression comes from horses being allowed to do what they want because the reins are slack (or "free").
Oracle
2024-06-10 04:12:40 +0000 UTCprobably the breast milk thing.
James Harrold
2024-06-10 03:47:34 +0000 UTCThanks for another enjoyable chapter. If there was anything 'squicky', I am either getting jaded or I must have missed it. ;-)
Artulo
2024-06-10 03:10:27 +0000 UTCI don't know. She doesn't keep in touch with me.
Al Steiner
2024-06-10 02:14:11 +0000 UTCThe he being referred to is Kelvin. He is the one that likes to sit at the computer or read.
Al Steiner
2024-06-10 02:12:38 +0000 UTCThank you.
Al Steiner
2024-06-10 02:11:26 +0000 UTCYou're welcome. Thank you for all your patronage and assistance with details over the years.
Al Steiner
2024-06-10 02:10:59 +0000 UTCWas wonder what Celia's sister is up too as we have really only heard about the parents and brother.
James Harrold
2024-06-09 22:32:33 +0000 UTCGreat chapter. I'm sad about Elsa's retirement, but I knew it would happen someday!!! A few nitpicks/comments, which you can ignore or accept as you like!! 1) The beginning of the chapter offered no explanation as to why Elsa was flying with Jake and with Celia's parents. Obviously I figured out it was a family visit from later context, but I was confused for a minute, thinking she had already retired and I missed it or something. 2) The part about Jake's LA cars and their maintenance was interesting. Since Jake has "money falling out of his asshole," why wouldn't he pay someone to maintain his LA cars for him? As I assume he does with his LA house. Hard to imagine Jake sitting in a dealership service department waiting room for 4 hours!! 3) "Kosher" pickles aren't necessarily kosher from a Jewish dietary standpoint. They're called that because they're made in the traditional Jewish fashion, with garlic in the brine. (https://www.epicurious.com/expert-advice/best-pickle-brands-buying-guide-article#:~:text=Nor%20does%20it%20have%20anything,has%20garlic%20in%20the%20brine.) Pickles (and all fruits and vegetables in general) are kosher by default. They'd only be non-kosher if they'd come into contact with something "traif" (non-kosher) along the way. But being labelled as "kosher" or "kosher dill" is meaningless. That's a style of pickle, not an indicator of kashrut. 4) "Weston" was also spelled as both "Westen" and "Westin" throughout the chapter.
Eric
2024-06-09 20:08:54 +0000 UTCThe last few chapters have been very good. Celia's parents were entertaining characters I enjoyed getting to know. Possible typo on page 9. "She was a forty-four year old woman who had found her dream job working for rich people with a single child who was absolutely no trouble at all. He liked nothing better than to simply read or look things up on the internet." Think the second sentence should start with a She instead of He. In Massachusetts there is a John T Nicholas school which my cousin's kids attend. No member of my cousin's family knows who John T Nicholas is. So apparently John is famous enough to get schools named after him, but not famous enough for most people to know who he is.
Adam
2024-06-09 19:07:42 +0000 UTCexcellent Chapter.....
Russ Wideman
2024-06-09 18:44:51 +0000 UTCHis handshake has firm and manly. ..was.. There are a few misplaced words in there which may be due to autocorrect.
RLDel
2024-06-09 15:52:02 +0000 UTCWill fix in an edit. Thanks.
Al Steiner
2024-06-09 11:53:03 +0000 UTCAfter talking about Jake's scars you used Her for Sean.
Jamie
2024-06-09 10:30:14 +0000 UTCBusy night catching up for me: i read Ch 8-11. Wow, Al, that's quite a journey in 4 chapters (and several months). All-in-all, this was really well told, and the transition from 'expectant parents' to 'new baby' was well told (I remember those days all too well). The introduction of the new dudes was well done, too. Thank you for some great stories.
Adam Driscoll
2024-06-09 09:44:45 +0000 UTCIf he'd been there, he would have been very proud.
Al Steiner
2024-06-09 09:42:48 +0000 UTCMatt must be proud of Caydee's proper use of profanity regarding Elsa's retirement
Kevin Gates
2024-06-09 06:59:28 +0000 UTC
