MPL Update

Update: Hi again, my dears <3 I thought I'd send out a response to your well wishes and encouragement. You guys really are the best, thank you so much for being who you are. I contemplated for days if I should just keep this post brief and impersonal, but I'm glad I didn't. You've lifted a weight off my shoulders thanks to your goodwill and kindness. I'll read and re-read all your comments -- gonna internalise the good shit to drown out the bad!

Also, this post wasn't meant to drag Webtoon, y'all gonna get me into trouble lmao! In a word of fairness, I wouldn't be where I'm at without Webtoon, and none of you would have heard about MPL if not for Webtoon's marketing campaigns, or found me on Patreon. So to give credit where it's due, I gotta say I'm as grateful to Webtoon and my editor as I am to all you guys. They're a business, them's the rules, I don't expect to be given exceptional treatment; I also knew upfront what was expected from me, so I can't say I was (completely) blindsided. And I'm no saint, myself. I love my gold as much as the next person, and Webtoon has taken good care of me financially. So I really can't complain (even though i do lol) 🙏🙏

In retrospect, where things really went downhill was during my S2 break when I pushed myself to keep working but should have used this chance to rest. It was a domino effect from that point on; the rest it was me desperately trying to catch up and put out the fires.

The problem might lie with them, BUT it could very well be me. And until I learn the lessons I need to learn, the same situations would crop up again elsewhere. For now, all I can do is to keep an open mind to see how this pans out <3 I'm a scorpio, maybe I'll pull off off that phoenix thing and push myself to greater heights? Maybe I won't? Who knows? Let's find out in the next episode of WHAT IS LIFE jfc

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Hey loves, first things first -- I've requested for another 2 weeks break (this time voluntarily) to think things through. Things are kinda up in the air right now so I won't promise a return date just yet. Also, do bear in mind that I'm under NDA and disallowed from disclosing anything that involves Webtoon.

I've stepped away from social media because I was in a position where I had to be accountable for matters not within my control and not my decision, and had to provide transparency even though I'm not legally allowed to do so. So I figured it's best to step away altogether. But y'all have pledged to receive updates from me, and it's only right that I continue with them on Patreon. I'll try to give a more detailed account without revealing anything that would further violate the NDA.

I'm a tough cookie at heart; this post isn't to score any sympathy points, but to let y'all as my Patrons know where I'm at right now, so you can continue making an informed decision on whether or not to continue your pledge to me.

Long story short -- I've been working on MPL for 5 years now. Mentally and emotionally, I'm doing so much better. But for MPL Webtoon production-wise, things are uncertain right now. Whatever decision I make will always be to preserve my full artistic integrity: so I'll continue creating art and sharing them online with a peaceful, happy mind; so I'll never grow bitter or resentful; so I'll create from a place of confidence, gratitude and humility; so I'll never be swayed by the tyranny of capitalism and consumer expectations.

That's my update in brief, read on for the detailed account. I guess I'll start right from the beginning. Buckle up, y'all. This made me tear up while writing, lol. Might delete later.

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On hindsight, Season 1 went smoothly because it was during the pandemic lockdown, and I could work on MPL to my hearts content.

Season 1 ended. I was optimistic, at the top of the world, filled with hope and enthusiasm.

During this hiatus, I was advised to create assets and optimise my workflow, and if possible, to create a production studio setup. But I wasn't told HOW, so I figured everything out on my own. Fully confident that this would work out well, I plunged right in. I started working on a library of assets from scratch. I hired a new "head-assistant" in hopes that they would take much the load off my shoulders. I looked into multiple ways of optimising my workflow, my productivity. While no episodes were published, I continued working daily throughout the hiatus.

Season 2 started. The head-assistant I'd hired had failed to do their job, and I had to let them go. Six months of preparation work went down the drain. I now spent my time in between episodes doing damage control, fixing the bungled artwork assets my ex-assistant had been submitting. I realised that increasing manpower was a bad solution; I wasn't just the project manager, I was also the head-production staff. By this point, I concluded I had no interest in setting up a production studio. By outsourcing 80% of the work, I'd end up with a soulless commercial product, and this wasn't it for me. I gave up on the production studio idea.

Halfway through, another assistant left. Still in between weekly deadlines, I re-planned the production workflow, re-distributed the tasks, re-trained my remaining assistants and coached them in new art techniques and skills to cover for the previous assistants, while allowing them time to adjust to their new job scopes. Still working 70-80 hours per week, this time to compensate for the decreased manpower. Still trying my best to meet weekly deadlines. By then, I was thoroughly burnt out. The deadlines were giving me panic attacks . My OCD flared up and I spent hours working on a single detail that no one else would have noticed. Still in the middle of season 2, I started talk-therapy,  but it was a bad fit and I was in worse shape than when I started.

A few months later two very dear, beloved family members passed away in close succession. This was when I ended MPL Season 2 abruptly. For the first time in 2 years, MPL production came to a complete halt. I also ended therapy, and did the healing work on my own with the support of my husband, family and loved ones. Spent the entire year recovering from complicated grief, work burnout, depression and GAD.

One year later, I felt more like myself again. Season 2 started. Things were looking up. I'd figured out how to reduce production time to 20-30 hours per week. But this time, the deadlines were stricter. Late submissions meant the episodes were cancelled.

And this is where we're at right now.

If you've read this far, thank you, and I'll leave you with this <3