0068 — Fuck You Friday: How We Act On The Internet
Added 2024-06-07 17:00:10 +0000 UTCOuttakes at noon in the In-Universe and Author's Tiers!
I once considered installing Reddit on my phone and creating a burner account, which I would use to express the most impulsive and greedily reckless fetal kicks from my id. But then I worried I'd carry that mindset over into the real world, which is exactly what would happen, and then I remembered that "which wolf do you feed" thingy, and then I checked to see if The Onion was doing good content lately, and pretty soon I was looking for the chisel my kid gave me for Christmas, because my attention span is ruined due to the phone not being a sharpened rock or other device which doesn't outclass my cognitive equipment by orders of magnitude.
The end. Garbled moral.
Comments
Oh man, just joined. I have missed these...
Chris Walker
2024-06-28 16:29:43 +0000 UTCRe-reading this a week later, it still hits hard, especially the attached caption. Our brain is not meant for this pace of stimulus, but yet I can't look away. Fuck you, us, indeed.
2scrogz
2024-06-14 23:47:17 +0000 UTCAnd it was a merry fuck you, us, indeed. They did read the instructions on soap, and their hygiene improved, but imperceptibly. Had they indulged the egotisms of kingsoapking69000's many rants on youtube videos by various soap makers, they might have learned wisdom they could impart on others, in a condescending and unnecessarily hostile manner.
Ruxine
2024-06-12 23:50:18 +0000 UTCMy username on washingtonpost.com is never-read-the-comments so that if I accidentally start reading the comments I see my username and remember to never read the comments
Steven Matuszek
2024-06-08 03:23:06 +0000 UTCThe internet might have been a bad idea, but at least its few redeeming aspects will all be drowned soon in A.I. sludge generated by no one, for no one.
Oppido
2024-06-08 02:32:19 +0000 UTCThis comment section is such a contrast to most other ones!!
Doc G
2024-06-08 00:06:49 +0000 UTCPlease... don't crush my asshopes, they're all I have
Doc G
2024-06-08 00:05:07 +0000 UTCHard to avoid the car-crashes of occasional YouTube comment trawls, or sports sites, but 3 years sans any social media is a noticeable gain, despite the potential mild negative career impact.
Matt Mitchell
2024-06-08 00:00:49 +0000 UTChonestly, team Mikhyl, a sage unspoiled by the sound and fury
Lionstooth
2024-06-07 22:14:57 +0000 UTCIf most of the insults beneath specialist YouTube videos were as eloquent as these, not only would we not feel bad about reading them, there would be significantly less need for literature in society.
Douglas Wykstra
2024-06-07 22:13:57 +0000 UTChonestly asshopes is somehow more menacing
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
2024-06-07 21:53:31 +0000 UTC*L
Chris Onstad
2024-06-07 21:35:01 +0000 UTCLike, 5pt type? Learn to edit, ASSSSSSHOPES
Chris Onstad
2024-06-07 21:34:52 +0000 UTCStopped being able to read bronners at about 30
Chris Onstad
2024-06-07 21:34:22 +0000 UTCHe’s listening to Netflix comedy specials during cardio
Chris Onstad
2024-06-07 21:33:53 +0000 UTCThe only cool guy in the whole concept
Chris Onstad
2024-06-07 21:33:31 +0000 UTCCopy and paste us some, soldier
Chris Onstad
2024-06-07 21:33:14 +0000 UTCThat line was when I knew I had a strip
Chris Onstad
2024-06-07 21:32:46 +0000 UTCYou should try going in the comments for local news posts in Baltimore. You have to take a shower and chant mantras about how all people aren't horrible.
Alexander Rediger
2024-06-07 20:40:20 +0000 UTCTotally. Though Mykhil seems like an old man you'd want to know.
Alexander Rediger
2024-06-07 20:39:31 +0000 UTCPeccolo Pete's sass game is real though.
Nicholas Williams
2024-06-07 20:20:25 +0000 UTCDr. Bronner's never fails. So much less hateful than anything online. Also, there is a Chrome extension called HerpDerp for Youtube. Turns all comments into various combinations of the syllables herp and derp.
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
2024-06-07 20:14:21 +0000 UTCThe eating a burger with the wrapper on on band trip...cuts a little close to home for me.
Donald Turnbaugh
2024-06-07 19:31:46 +0000 UTCI have a question for Ray's Place. What/where is the best way to submit it?
John Robinson
2024-06-07 19:30:29 +0000 UTCSmiling serenely imagining a youtube video so good I would put it in my ass to surprise my wife
Ben Wilinofsky
2024-06-07 19:27:21 +0000 UTCI have been trading insults with the same person on Facebook for about five months now. We should have one of those little timers that they use for chess, I have insulted his timeliness (and also his mother).
A. Hamster
2024-06-07 18:54:41 +0000 UTCOld books, old magazines. Stuff way past its relevance expiration is the key.
Cody Richmond
2024-06-07 18:47:06 +0000 UTCGotta get thru this body first BRO
Cody Richmond
2024-06-07 18:45:35 +0000 UTCfunny you should post this, Chris. yesterday I deleted all of my social media except for blue sky for this very reason. I also dumped the New York Times and Washington post because all they do is make me upset. from now on it's books and magazines.
J Hardy Carroll
2024-06-07 18:32:55 +0000 UTCWhat an oddly touching last panel! Are they on their way to Bloom County ™️
TIMOOOO
2024-06-07 18:25:40 +0000 UTCTres semmes and tremble taint
Rob Satterfield
2024-06-07 18:17:11 +0000 UTCBeef's just there for illustrative purposes. He already knows that reading video comments is like reading someone else's code.
Jay Y
2024-06-07 18:07:05 +0000 UTCPimp skitters and Pantene Pro-V
Don Rowe
2024-06-07 17:56:57 +0000 UTCA+++
Josh Egbert
2024-06-07 17:54:21 +0000 UTCConversely, one of the best JavaScript packages I ever saw was a fake comments section intended to be placed at the bottom of an article or blog post. If you left a comment, it would just save it to your cookies and not actually send it anywhere.
Don Rowe
2024-06-07 17:54:01 +0000 UTCYou’d better believe I have wicked snack, Josh
Aaron J. Rushton
2024-06-07 17:53:16 +0000 UTCthe intersection of sturgeons law and the evergreen advice to never touch the poop makes for some very careful placement of footsteps in this online existence of ours
Zen Window
2024-06-07 17:53:04 +0000 UTCThere is a reason there are browser plugins to replace YouTube comments with random gibberish.
Smoke
2024-06-07 17:30:58 +0000 UTCDamnit Onstad I'm still laughing at "I'm more of a 'Why is shit brown' kind of guy." Slow down and let my funny boner catch up.
Rob Dalton
2024-06-07 17:29:34 +0000 UTCDear god are fitness video comments toxic. What ever happened to “healthy mind in healthy body”?
Chris Onstad
2024-06-07 17:29:18 +0000 UTCIf you could scroll down in that thread, you’d see him catch a lot of hell for that
Chris Onstad
2024-06-07 17:28:25 +0000 UTCStraight up grandma’s house
Chris Onstad
2024-06-07 17:27:46 +0000 UTCYes, and the irony is that those comments are all roid-ragey
Chris Onstad
2024-06-07 17:25:46 +0000 UTCremember reading shampoo bottles while takin a shizzle?
Rob Satterfield
2024-06-07 17:24:20 +0000 UTCI hate to disappoint, but this time i actually put the better stuff in the strip.
Chris Onstad
2024-06-07 17:23:54 +0000 UTCIt's the handgun emoji for me. I haven't laughed like that in a cool minute.
Hector Jimenez
2024-06-07 17:22:47 +0000 UTC1,000,000 Celsius is pretty dang fucking hot
b.zap
2024-06-07 17:19:54 +0000 UTCFinally Achewood's "We Have Met the Enemy and He Is Us" moment
Chris Gillotti
2024-06-07 17:18:18 +0000 UTC...but there may never have been a fitness thread that goes that long without a comment in STEROID CAPS. There should be a special typeface.
blair
2024-06-07 17:15:41 +0000 UTCI'm working on being the change I want to see in the world but godDAMN is there a lot of change I want to see in the world.
Bungus Bronbo
2024-06-07 17:15:24 +0000 UTCI do love a lil mambo in the comments section 😼
Cf Duddy
2024-06-07 17:14:00 +0000 UTCI'd bet money the outtakes from this are magnificent.
blair
2024-06-07 17:12:48 +0000 UTCWhen I'm worried that I might live too long, I allow myself a few youtube comments to shave off some of my remaining lifespan
Sedric And Charlie
2024-06-07 17:12:22 +0000 UTCThis is exactly every weightlifting video comment section, minus the immediate arguments about whether the person in the video is on steroids.
Dan Ford
2024-06-07 17:09:01 +0000 UTCAre there snacks?
Josh Egbert
2024-06-07 17:08:13 +0000 UTCI would put this comic in my ass to surprise my wife
Matthew Harris
2024-06-07 17:07:56 +0000 UTC"Return to pissing yourself old man we've no need for you" is gonna be one of those phrases that will be permanently wedged in my brain with absolutely no chance of ever being used.
EndgamerAzari
2024-06-07 17:06:23 +0000 UTCI feel like we’re safe in this deeply unpopular backwater of it though
Chris Onstad
2024-06-07 17:06:15 +0000 UTCI've long maintained that the internet was a Bad Idea
Josh Egbert
2024-06-07 17:03:14 +0000 UTC
