[Severed Divinity] THE REST OF THE BOOK
Added 2024-12-09 06:55:20 +0000 UTCHello!
Attached is the Patreon exclusive draft version of Severed Divinity. I decided to wait until the rest of the book was done to avoid evil cliffs. You're welcome.
Eventually I will remove this posting and the attachments when I actually release Severed Divinity on RR, which I plan to do after finishing Menocht. At that point I will probably restructure the Patreon to actually have a real tier for Severed Divinity, offering a certain # of advanced chapters. So you current supporters really get to read it way ahead of everyone else!
For folks who haven't yet dived in, I hope getting it as one PDF or Epub makes it easier! Sorry for people who prefer to read in Patreon or in email. I hope PDF and Epub work for you -- DM me if not.
As a note... I accidentally had two chapter 83s, so I renumbered the chapters to fix it. If you're up to date and just read chapter 101, then you want to go to chapter 103, Rekindling.
I would love any beta feedback, even if it's negative (try to frame it constructively).
Love you all and appreciate your patience~~
-cae
Comments
Just finished and I am pleased!...... MORE PLEASE!
PoeticSaint
2024-12-20 15:04:03 +0000 UTCAppreciate all these comments!! I’ll definitely be thinking about them as I go through and revise the draft. I hope you enjoyed the story :)
Caerulex
2024-12-17 16:11:36 +0000 UTCAlso the level of hax that Isen's sixth sense is throughout the story makes me wonder if the special water he drank at the beginning of the story super charged his sixth sense.
Orange
2024-12-16 11:04:43 +0000 UTCFinished rereading this and here's some of my rambling thoughts, focusing on the first portion of the book. The timeskip at the start of chapter eight feels a bit jarring in a few ways to me. We've been told that Ros and Isen's relationship has basically progressed to comradery, but we missed all that devolvement. A very big jump from Ros realizing that Isen wanted Ros to live for non-selfish reasons (ie not just to have a powerful monster on his side) to the current level of kinship. The chapter from the time skip to when they entered the Legacy really made me wish there were scenes of Ros and Isen talking/doing stuff. We see some talk of how beasts advance and Isen refences his philosophy of divinity/cultivation during his advancement, but really don't see more than that. It felt like there was some cultivation philosophy talk missing. The lack on much real on screen training for Isen wasn't too much of a deal breaker, but the later comments when Isen is at the clan compound of his training/lack there of make me wish there was some. The blood sharing scene made it very obvious that Ros and Isen were going to get separated, but you'd probably need to make larger structural changes not immediately have to separate them. Would need another dangerous/split potential for Isen that happened during the time skip, but the asking to consume blood and create the bond can really only with their current level of kinship. I assume that the time skip allowed you to push back level of opening up that Isen/Ros would have to have for kinship so you could revel their backstories later. I did enjoy the references to Lady Jin and Isen's issues being trusted and his backstory revel was good. Ros is still a mystery that I assume will be expanded on in the next book. Again Isen and Ros, at least on screen, haven't talked much. Guess that my main thing is that there should have been chapter(s) with smaller timeskips allow you to show Isen and Ros's relationship grow. Give me some of that good character interaction/growth. And had bits of cultivation lore/philosophy sprinkled in.
Orange
2024-12-16 11:03:02 +0000 UTCHope you like the ending! I rewrote parts of it multiple times...
Caerulex
2024-12-09 16:18:08 +0000 UTCWow!! My lucky day! Thank you for the chapters and thanks for all the work on this series! I really like it!
Jakob
2024-12-09 09:26:33 +0000 UTC
