Chapter 3: I Will Never Date You!

Mutation (3)

The door lock password hadn't changed even after six months. Of course, the number I had registered on my smartphone was the same, so when I held my smartphone to the door lock, it beeped and the lock opened.

I wondered why I even thought, 'What if it doesn't open?' I didn't have any memories of being abused.

My parents are good people. I fought with my younger sister often, but I don't think she's a bad person. I don't know if we were very wealthy, but I've never struggled with money.

Thinking I'd be abandoned now is a bit strange.

I carefully opened the door and went inside.

It was a weekday afternoon. Usually, no one would be home at this time, but I heard that both my mom and dad had taken the day off. My sister didn't have any classes anyway.

The three people sitting at the kitchen table connected to the living room looked at me simultaneously, as if they had been waiting for me to return.

A brief silence.

"Ah, uh, I'm home."

I felt like I had to say it, so I did. It was a ritual I had performed every time I came home since elementary school.

"Oh, Ihyun, you're home?"

Mom smiled and got up from her seat.

"You must have been bored lying in the hospital for so long."

Mom said that as she headed for the refrigerator.

Dad and my sister were still looking at me without saying anything.

It wasn't a reproachful atmosphere. Not dazed either. Rather, they seemed to be quickly racking their brains, trying to figure out what to say.

I hadn't had much time to properly talk with my family.

Just two weeks ago, my body was like a molten furnace with cells boiling inside. There have been no deaths in Korea yet, but there have been deaths overseas.

If I had to compare it to a similar natural phenomenon, it was like a pupa. Strictly speaking, it was different because I was boiling under skin full of blisters, and cells were being broken down and reassembled without anything like a cocoon.

In an extremely weakened state, it's fatal for germs to enter from the outside. My skin surface was already peeling off and vulnerable to infection, so all I could do during my hospitalization was talk a few times through the glass wall.

"Is your body feeling a little better?"

My younger sister, who had been racking her brains, finally managed to say.

She probably meant it. Her expression was that of someone who was genuinely worried about me.

It wouldn't have been like this before.

I was hospitalized with appendicitis in middle school. My sister teased me then too, and got hit by Mom.

How long has it been since we used such gentle language? My sister teased me relentlessly until the moment I went to the army.

"I'm fine, that's why I came to play."

"How's Siwoo doing?"

This time, Dad asked.

"He's doing well. Same as usual."

Yes. Siwoo was the same.

At least it was a little less awkward than it is here now.

"Is your body a little less painful?"

"Yeah."

My way of speaking is the same.

But the voice answering is different from the voice I've known until now. A thin voice that anyone would think was a woman's.

Is it because everyone here is so familiar?

It feels like only my unfamiliar voice is out of place. My eyesight and hearing are fine, and I can feel that I'm sitting, but somehow it feels like only my brain is floating around.

"Here you go."

Mom, who had opened the refrigerator, came back with a cake.

A big cake that you'd only eat on a birthday.

"Today is Ihyun's discharge party."

"Yeah, looks delicious."

The voice I don't know answered as I thought.

The discharge celebration was quiet.

I think we talked about this and that. Usually, Mom, Dad, and my younger sister carried on the conversation. I didn't have anything to talk about except for the fact that I had been in the hospital for the past six months.

The awkwardness remained prickly in my mouth until the end of the conversation. A prickly feeling even under the sweetness of the cake.

Or, am I the only one thinking this way? Maybe my family is just accepting it, and it's just me.

I thought about it deeply, but I couldn't come up with an answer.

*

The next day.

I woke up at 10 a.m., probably because I had gotten into the habit at the hospital.

A house with no one home—not just Dad and Mom, but even my younger sister has gone to school.

No one woke me up, probably out of consideration for me.

[There's beef seaweed soup in the fridge]

There was probably a note left by Mom on the table.

I opened the refrigerator and saw a large pot and well-organized side dish containers.

"……."

I stared at it for a while, then just took out the leftover cake from yesterday. I was too lazy to do anything, probably because I woke up late.

I idly watched YouTube on my smartphone while nibbling on a piece of cake, then washed up and left the house.

My hospital appointment was at 1 p.m. There was still some time left, but I decided to go and wait.

SHIBA Syndrome patients go to the hospital regularly even after the transformation.

No one has undergone another transformation after the initial one. There have been no cases of the body returning to its original state or becoming another person. No special side effects have been observed either.

Therefore, there is demand for the syndrome itself.

It's still most likely a genetic disease, but there are people all over the world who want to know how to 'transmit' even that genetic disease. Isn't it a disease worth getting, whether your gender changes or not? The result is so beautiful.

In short, my blood and urine are quite valuable. While other rare disease patients would be charged 100,000 won every time they go to the hospital, in my case, the money goes into my account. Under the name of research funding.

"It's common."

The counselor sitting in front of me said.

"In fact, many patients worry that they're not actually sick, but that they've gone crazy."

Because of the nature of the disease, patients experience many mental problems.

Usually, we take care of that too... she said. I didn't know that the university hospital had a separate psychology counseling center until I got sick.

"But SHIBA Syndrome is a real disease. Ihyun, you've seen it on the news, right?"

"Yes."

Unlike most diseases that people don't even know exist, SHIBA Syndrome is incredibly famous for a rare disease because of its uniqueness. The media often used sensational words such as 'rejuvenating disease,' 'beauty disease,' and 'sex change disease.'

Of course, I thought I was envious every time I saw it.

If I grew by 10 percent, my height would be in the 170s.

I had exchanged various jokes with Siwoo, who could be called an otaku comrade. What would you do if you became a pretty girl?

I said I would rake in money with internet broadcasting.

"Those memories are important. The process of learning about the disease, the memories of talking about the disease, the hospitalization records and prescription records... and, as painful as it may be, even the things you experienced while hospitalized. It's important to try to realize each one."

"Yes……."

"It would be best if you could get help from those around you, but the person who most certainly remembers Kim Ihyun as 'Kim Ihyun' is Kim Ihyun herself. If possible, it's also helpful to continue doing things you usually like, hobbies you've been doing for a long time. Is there anything that comes to mind?"

An act that would make me aware that I am me?

"Exercise... I exercised pretty hard."

"Exercise?"

This is a story about my complex.

I belatedly accepted that I was much shorter than the kids around me in high school, so I exercised incredibly hard even after going to college.

If I'm short, at least I should have a good body. At least I should have a decent face.

I worked hard to manage my appearance, so at least I didn't look completely ugly in my own eyes.

"Then exercise is a good choice. You see it often on TV, right? The various positive effects of exercise. Your physical abilities may have become unbalanced after lying down for six months, and exercise itself has a positive impact."

The counselor nodded as if it was a good thing.

"Yes, I'll try it."

I nodded and answered.

I can't just do nothing because it's awkward.

If I have to live like this anyway, I should at least try to adapt.

*

And the first thing I heard at the gym I always went to was this.

"Kim Ihyun? Ah, just a moment. We do have member information... but that person is a man."

I felt like I was going to let out a hollow laugh, but I held it in.

And, it doesn't seem like anyone here knows me anyway.

It's not like I received PT or anything. How much money would I have had when I was a college student? I just registered at the gym and did as much as I could learn from the internet.

So even if there was someone who had been working here all along, and even if I hadn't changed, it's natural that they wouldn't recognize me. I hadn't come for two years because I was in the army.

It took a little longer because the staff were embarrassed to find out that I was a patient, but well, they did eventually verify my identity.

……But does this really work?

In the end, I just met a new person.

How much is it related to the continuation of memories?

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