Chapter 6: I Became the Last Place in the Academy

I didn't hate people who lacked talent, but I hated people who didn't try.

Perhaps that's why. I couldn't bring myself to like Kanna Aurora, who didn't make an effort even after I hinted at it a couple of times.

I just thought, "Oh, that kind of person exists," and wanted to ignore her completely.

At first, I wanted to help her since she seemed to be at the bottom even while studying, but after Orca hinted at her and she only pretended to try before giving up and losing focus, I lost all affection for her.

I just wanted to dismiss her as "that kind of person."

Someone who only tries when you point it out, and doesn't make any effort afterward.

It was obvious that this type wouldn't put in any effort at home either.

There was no way she'd study at home when she didn't even do it at school.

When she first said she wanted to be friends with Orca, I even suggested we all be friends together, but the next day she showed a lack of focus again, which disappointed me, so I didn't particularly want to get close to her.

I mostly thought, "If she's not going to try, she'll figure out how to live later on her own."

But the problem erupted during class.

"...Um, has anyone seen Kanna?"

A seat was empty during the homeroom teacher's class.

Everyone turned their heads as soon as they heard the teacher's words.

Most of them were reacting like, "Oh, she's not here?" only then.

I was the same.

I didn't think there was any need to pay attention.

But I had a feeling that it wasn't such a simple matter.

"...Didn't she come down from the roof?"

As the atmosphere briefly stirred at the teacher's words, I briefly stood up.

With the thought that I could even grab someone who was about to fall from the roof.

"I'll go check."

"Would you, would you do that?"

Seeing the teacher's pale face, it seemed like he was assuming the worst.

Orca, who was sitting next to me, was no different.

She looked at me with trembling eyes before closing her mouth.

I ignored her gaze and, with the teacher's permission, left the classroom and ran to the stairs.

Was she trying to make an extreme choice because she was pessimistic about being at the bottom?

Surely not.

As I tried to avert my eyes from the worst-case scenario, I couldn't shake off the ominous feeling and quickly went up, slightly opening the door connected to the roof to look inside.

Kanna Aurora was muttering quietly while holding onto the railing.

"...I wonder what I'd see if I went over once."

My heart pounded.

It was scary because it seemed like exactly what someone would do right before jumping.

Was it because I had never seen anyone try to die before?

Hearing those words, I kicked open the door I was holding and shouted.

"Calm down. Calm down and get away from the railing."

Kanna stared blankly at me before turning her gaze to the railing she was holding.

Then she answered quietly.

"...What does it matter to you what I do?"

I froze at her sharp voice.

I knew that it wasn't my place to care what she did.

But that was only true when dealing with personal matters, not when someone was about to die.

My lips trembled.

I averted my gaze as if avoiding her violet eyes.

The railing, I could probably save her even if she jumped.

Thinking that, I swallowed hard.

I even vowed to try my best to keep her from falling.

\*

Get away from the railing. Does he think I'm going to jump off here?

I'm agonizing like this because I want to live, and because I don't want to make this ending miserable, so suicide is out of the question.

Even as I thought this, I laughed in disbelief.

I was so depressed that I dragged the protagonist into a meaningless place while lost in thought here, so what else could be the problem?

I was depressed. I felt even sadder because I didn't even know what I wanted to do, and I felt like a fool.

I wanted to do well too.

When I read this story, I wanted to overcome the trials given to the protagonist using only what was given to them.

But it seems I can't do that.

I just need to close my eyes and push through, but being ignored by everyone, being ridiculed, those are things that are too hard for me to endure.

I couldn't endure like the protagonist.

I felt self-loathing. I didn't want to blame anyone for it.

I snapped at him, saying it was none of his business, but in the end, it was all my fault.

If the bottom student is holding onto the railing, it might look like they want to commit suicide.

As I was caressing the railing I was holding, Hamin, who was standing opposite me, said soothingly.

"...What does it matter? I can't just say nothing after seeing this..."

My shoulders drooped at his halting voice.

There was no point in having an emotional fight with Yun Hamin here, so I dropped my hands from the railing.

"I guess so."

I had nothing to say.

It was the right thing to say, and I knew that fighting over it would only be a dirty fight stained with my sticky emotions.

I didn't particularly want to die either, so there was no reason to resist.

"...Good thinking."

"Yun Hamin."

I spoke Yun Hamin's name, who was relieved.

Honestly, I wasn't expecting much.

The teacher and the students would all turn their eyes away from me, and everything I said would be dismissed as nonsense, so it would only hurt me more if I had expectations.

But there were still so many things I hadn't tried, and it was too early to give up now, so I had no choice but to open my mouth.

"Yeah...?"

I swallowed at his dazed voice.

How much should I tell him? Should I tell him everything since he's the protagonist?

But even when I told the teacher the story right in front of him, he didn't believe me.

So even if I told him too much, he wouldn't be able to believe it right away.

Then that was all I had to say.

"...Can you trust me just once?"

"What is it...?"

I wasn't going to ask him to trust me unconditionally, so I carefully opened my mouth.

"In two weeks... on the day of the third exam, you can't be here. A monster will strike here too, but the village near the wall is in danger. There are no academy teachers or students there."

I had said the same thing to the homeroom teacher earlier.

Yun Hamin frowned when he heard those words.

He had the same expression as if he was doubting what he had heard.

Information from the future was all like this.

It wasn't even the kind of thing where you could just try it out, like a lottery number.

Believing my words meant not just saying you believed them, but actually believing that a monster would appear and going to protect the village near the wall.

And to do that, you had to leave the academy on the day of the third exam.

It was a request to give up the exam and come out for a little while.

"...That's, wait. What are you talking about?"

"It's exactly what it sounds like."

If he asked where I got that information, I would have nothing to say.

But I didn't want to start off on the wrong foot.

I could explain it properly when the time came.

So I wanted him to trust me this time.

Hamin's expression was confused. His eyes wandered in the air before turning to me.

I sent him a steady gaze as if to say I was telling the truth, and his expression subtly hardened.

He was trying to stop me because he thought she was going to commit suicide, but if I suddenly started talking nonsense like this, who would believe me? So I decided not to have any expectations.

That was the first thing I learned here.

No, to be exact, it was something I learned firsthand.

How to endure a little more even when being ignored or despised.

How not to expect and not to be disappointed.

How to endure being lonely, even a little.

It was quite difficult for a social animal like a human to learn such things, but thankfully, I was able to endure somehow because I was an animal of adaptation.

So, it didn't matter if he didn't believe me.

Even if Yun Hamin didn't come, I was going to find something to do and do it my own way anyway.

It's okay to be weak and incompetent.

If I know something in advance, even a small clue will seem big to me.

Just as I was renewing my resolve, Yun Hamin's tightly closed lips opened.

"...How do you know this kind of thing? Are you, like, a spy or something?"

He immediately asked to confirm the truth of the information.

It was within the scope of normal behavior, so I answered quietly.

"No, I wouldn't ask you to believe me so recklessly, but that's not it."

I wasn't an ordinary student either, but I couldn't go that far.

Honestly, there's nothing more foolish than telling the person involved about information about the future, but if it could help, if the protagonist could somehow overcome it with their power, there would be nothing more I could ask for.

I was grasping at straws.

I didn't think I could do it alone.

"......"

Yun Hamin lowered his head.

He looked like he was wondering whether to seriously believe these words or not.

A straw, should he let go? Should he grab it?

"...Can you give me time to think?"

"...Of course."

He hadn't completely let go, so could I have a little hope?

No, that's not possible.

Don't expect too much.

The moment you expect, the disappointment grows.

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