Piano Scratch - Super Paper Mario ORIGINAL SONG! Let's Talk About Your Wedding!

I've been kickin' this one around for awhile since I finished SPM, and I'm really excited about seeing it through!

LYRICS:

*Bowser sighs on his throne*

Bowser: Grrrgh...Rejected by the princess again...

I even put on my no-scratch claw gloves before I kidnapped her this time...

Bowser: Is she EVER gonna realize how COOL and EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE and LARGE and COOL I am???

Maybe I should just call it quits...

Bleck: Do you feel downtrodden?

Bowser: Huh?

Bleck: Do you feel dismayed?

Bowser: Where's that coming from?

Bleck: Like a shroom that's rotten, paper crumpled up and thrown away?

Bowser: Kind of...

Bleck: Are you feeling hopeless?

Bowser: Yeah...

Bleck: So sad and blue?

Bowser: More of a...red-orange, really?

Bleck: Then mister have I ever got the pick-me-up for you...

BLECK flips Bowser into the void world.

Bowser: AUGH! Where am I! It's all black and void-y!

Dimentio: I know, right? Paradise!

Mimi: It matches the color of my soul!

O'Chunks: Ye get used to it in time, laddie.

Nastasia: It's the most efficient commute for everyone, 'k?

Bowser: Whuh? Who are all you NERDS?

Bleck: I am Count Bleck, and these are my...wedding planners. 

Bowser: Huh? Wedding?

Bleck: Welcome, King Bowser, said count bleck...to the rest of your life!

(VERSE)

Bleck: Let's talk about your wedding, Bowser! Let's talk about your dreams!

I'm sure you're likely wondering how, sir, it's easier than it seems!

Love is so very complicated, trust me, I know...

But you've got us now, so here we go!

Bowser: But I've never seen you guys before! Why do you wanna help me?

Bleck: Why, it's our first gig! Just think of the world-shattering effect 

it'll have when we help THE King Bowser tie the knot! 

Bowser: Hm...I see....

O'Chunks: But ye'll never get there if ye don't BELIEVE in yerself!

(VERSE)

Let's talk about your thinkin', Bowser! Let's talk yer confidence!

Ye'll never be more than a sprout of yer full self if yer stuck on the fence!

It's chunkin' hard to make confessions! Not just fer you...

But don't ye chicken out when it's time to say "I do!"

Bowser: YEAH! I'm COOL! And LARGE! and NO princess is too good for me!

O'Chunks: That's the spirit, big lad! Now let's get ye dressed up! MIMI! IT'S YER TURN!

Mimi: Hmm, Let me get a goood look at you...okay! Mimimimimi...

*MIMI turns into bowser*

Bowser: HUH? You're ME?

Mimi: Do you KNOW how many rubees a good mirror costs? I'm not made of money!

Well...I am. BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT.

Let's talk about your clothing, buddy. Let's talk about your duds!

If you let my handiwork get muddy...I'LL BATHE IN BOWSER BLOOD.

Bowser: Uh...

Mimi:

It takes talent to design for Turtles...be glad I'm around!

So put this on and you'll be wedding-bound!

Bowser: Huh...a perfect fit! You guys ARE good...

Mimi: Only the best for our Count Bleck! HEY FOUR-EYES! YOU'RE UP!

Nastasia: Yeah, alllright...So, King Bowser, who do you like?

Bowser: That's the problem. The only girl for me is peach, and she doesn't want anything to do with me!

Nastasia:

That's all? Not a problem.

Bowser: OK, you lost me.

Nastasia:

Let's talk about your Princess Peach, k? Your future wife-to-be...

She won't be so far out of reach with some slight hypnotherapy.

Relationships take years, but I'll need five seconds, tops...

To brainwash all her fears and make them stop.

Bowser: Huh. That sounds morally questionable...

*NASTASIA uses her Super-Hypnosis on Bowser.*

Bowser: That sounds great!

Nastasia: Glad we're on the same page.

Dimentio: Ooh! My tuuuurn! My heart is pounding like furious timpanis tumbling down a mountain of drumsticks!

Bleck: *sigh*

Dimentio:

Let's talk about your entertainment! And why it should be mine!

I won't require any payment...and you won't pay me. It's a sign!

I'll pepper in some magic sparkles...a few baloons!

Then I'll BLOW UP THE WEDDING  ROOM!

ALL OTHERS: DIMENTIO, NO.

Dimentio: Fine. I've got magic to do one way or another.

*ding*

Oh! That must be my hot pocket dimensions. Goodbye for noooow!

Bowser: What's the deal with THAT guy?

Count Bleck: Don't mind him. He's harmless, I assure you, said Count Bleck.

And you've got bigger things to worry about.

THE ROOM TRANSFORMS TO A CHAPEL. PEACH, KOOPAS AND LUIGI ARE THERE.

Bowser: HUH? ALREADY?

ALL:

Let's not spend any more time talking, let's just cut to the chase!

Put on your tux, king, and get walking, we've got no time to waste!

May your marriage last your whole life long, king!

Bleck:

Trust me, it will...

ALL:

SO STEP UP TO THE ALTAR AND STAND STILL...

A rising chorus as the crowd cheers and peach yells out.

Koopas/Audience: Yeah! Go king! You're finally doing it! Bowser X Peach! Etc

Luigi: Huh? This can't-a be right!

Peach: What's going on? BOWSER! I TOLD you I'm not intereste-

*super hypnosis*

Peach: Ugh....

Bleck:

Here comes the bride...

Mind pacified..

Do you take Bowser to be by your side?

Peach: I...I do...

Here comes the groom

Filling the room...

Now say

Bowser: "I DO!"

Bleck:

And prepare for YOUR DOOM...

Bowser: HUH? What're you talkin' about, Blecky, old boy?

Bleck: Bleh heh heh heh...BLEEH HEH HEH HEEEH!

The chaos Heart Emerges.