Center Stage - Chapter 19

Thursday, I got home from school and realized that finally, I didn’t have to get on a plane and go anywhere. I finally had a weekend where I could play at the Blue Ridge and just relax for a little while. The house was quiet even though Mrs. Philips’ car was in the driveway. She wasn’t downstairs, so I assumed she was in her room. I had homework, but I was catching up and, since I didn’t have to go on tour, I’d actually be able to spread some of it over the weekend, which meant I could take an hour or so break before going to band practice, and then maybe do some homework afterward.

The very rare break.

I headed to the kitchen to grab a snack and noticed a stack of letters on the counter. Maybe twenty in total, which is why they caught my eye. Weirder, the top ones were addressed to me. Flipping through them, I actually found all of the letters were addressed to me, all from colleges, by the looks of it.

I tore open the first one, the letter from UNC on top, and pulled out the contents, which turned out to be an acceptance letter. The next one was from USC, which I’d also applied to since it had a really strong contemporary music and composition program. Another acceptance letter.

Weirdly, the third one was from Juilliard, a school I didn’t apply to, since it wasn’t the kind of music program I was looking for, only to find they’d also sent an acceptance letter.

Could schools do that? Accept you even though you didn’t apply?

As I dug through the letters, I found they were all acceptance letters, with about two-thirds of them from schools I didn’t apply to. Some of them, like Berklee’s College of Music, were very prestigious. There was even one from Yale of all places.

“Mrs. Phillips!” I yelled out, hoping she was home and hadn’t gone somewhere else with a friend or something.

Thankfully, a moment later, her room door opened and she came out, “What’s wrong, Charlie?”

“Did you see these?”

“Yes, I put them all there for you. Sorry, I hadn’t gone to the box in a few days. Did you enter some kind of program or something?”

“No. These are acceptance letters for next year.”

“Did you apply to that many?” She asked, now as confused as I was.

She’d helped me send out my applications and knew how many schools I’d applied to, so her confusion was warranted.

“No. I didn’t. But they all accepted me. Look,” I said, handing over a stack of them.

She flipped through several, her eyes widening as she took in some of the names. “This is incredible!”

“I know. I was pretty sure I knew what I was going to accept, but now … there are too many options.”

“That’s better than no options. Just think on it. You don’t have to accept right away.”

“I’m going to call Kat.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” she said, patting my arm. “Still, I’m very proud of you. This is a big deal.”

“Yeah,” I kind of mumbled off handedly, still a little shocked.

I grabbed my phone and dialed Kat’s number. She had practice at the moment, but sometimes she’d be on a break and would be near her phone.

“Hey, Charlie! What’s up?” she said, answering almost right away, which meant she was on a break.

“You won’t believe this. I just got home and found a stack of college acceptance letters waiting for me.”

“That’s amazing! Which schools?”

“All of the ones I applied to, and like fifteen I didn’t.”

“Really? That’s weird. What schools?”

“Good ones. Yale, Juilliard, Berklee. I can’t figure out what happened.”

“What happened is you’ve started to make a real name for yourself. You’re selling out stadiums and you’re at the top of the indie streaming chart for, what, two weeks now. Schools are always looking for hooks, and having a celebrity, even a minor one, at their school helps bring in other students. We had this physics guy transfer over this semester and he’s won a big award in his field, and the school can’t stop bragging about it all over the place. You’re in those ranks now.”

“I guess.”

“So, what do you want to do? Juilliard is famous for their music, Berklee has a great program, and you applied to USC because of their program. Do you have an idea of where you’d like to go?”

“Man, I don’t know. Not Juilliard, I don’t think. Their program is wrong for me. But Berklee? Maybe. And USC was kind of a stretch when I applied for it, so the idea I could go there … just … I don’t know.”

“What are your top two?”

“Probably USC and UNC.”

“UNC? Not Berkeley? I know you applied to UNC because it was in state, but you have all these options now and the money should be less of an issue. You don’t need to settle for staying here when you have all of these other options.”

“Yeah, but you’re at UNC.”

“That’s sweet, Charlie, but you shouldn’t base your future on where I am. We both know UNC’s program isn’t nearly as good as either of the other two. I can’t help but feel the only reason you want to come here is me, and that can’t work.”

“Their program isn’t that bad.”

“Be serious, Charlie. You always talk about people being honest, you can’t then go lie to me and yourself. You just said you wanted to go to UNC cause I’m here, and I won’t allow you to base your choices on just being near me. It’s not fair to you and it’s certainly not fair to me. Do you think I want to feel like some kind of weight around your neck? To feel like I’m holding you back?”

“Of course you don’t, but that’s not what you’re doing. I’m not even sure it matters where I’m going. My career is already doing well and soon I’ll have the contract from ARC. I’m mostly doing this because I promised mom I would.”

“Bullshit. One, you’re too smart to think you have nothing to learn or can’t get better. At least, I hope you haven’t suddenly developed some kind of massive ego. And you of all people should know better than to just count on the deal you have right now to be forever. Not even considering how some of your past deals have gone, your dad had a deal too, and banked his entire life on it. How did that turn out for him?”

“Yeah, but…”

“No buts. I love you, Charlie, but I swear to God if you start making your life choices solely because of me, I’ll break up with you. I love you too much to hold you back.”

“Kat, that’s not fair.”

“Yes it is. You have a chance to go to some of the best music schools in the country, and you’re thinking about throwing that away because of me. What’s not fair is expecting me to live like that. We’ve made long distance work so far, we can make this work too.”

I flopped on the couch. All the joy of the acceptance was gone in a heartbeat. I didn’t want to keep being long distance, and I didn’t really need a degree now, but she wasn’t wrong. Dad had a deal and it didn’t last. I had the MAC deal and it didn’t last.

It was just, by the time we got together, she was already off at UNC. We’d never been able to date while living in the same place. Long distance was working, but it sucked.

But if she thought it was unfair to her, I couldn’t do that to her.

“Okay. I’ll think about it.”

“No, don’t just think about it, do it. Commit to USC. Or Berklee. I don’t care which, as long as you don’t settle for UNC just because it’s convenient.”

“Alright,” I said quietly.

“Good. I love you and I know this makes you sad, and I’m sorry.”

“No. You’re right. I just... you know.”

“I do. If making the right choice was easy, everyone would do it. Or something like that.”

***

Friday after school, I headed to the Blue Ridge. Sadly, we only had two nights this weekend because Chef had already booked someone on Sunday. We weren’t even going to have Saturday, but the band that he’d booked to play had to drop out after their lead singer was in some kind of accident. They said it wasn’t serious, and rescheduled for a few weeks later, which let us slide into that spot.

I was happy he was doing well booking performers, mostly from Asheville, to play on weekends. The Blue Ridge was too important to just hold a spot open for me in case I was available and I was thrilled he was starting to become known as a quality venue for local music. He’d even gotten more people driving up from Asheville or one of the neighboring smaller towns on Saturday nights to hear music, and he was booked all the time.

Vinney had told me they’d had to hire more people for Saturday nights, and Chef was looking at buying some adjacent land to expand the parking lot. I was actually thrilled for Chef, who deserved every bit of success he could get, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss playing there. I still thought of the Blue Ridge as home, both musically and literally.

I was just pulling into the parking lot when my phone buzzed, rattling against the cupholder. Pulling into a spot, I checked and saw it was Hanna.

“Hey, Han…”

She was sobbing almost uncontrollably.

“Hanna? What’s wrong?”

She tried to say something, but the words were completely muffled, mixed with deep, wracking breaths, until it was unintelligible.

“Okay, it’s okay. Just slow down. Take a deep breath. I can’t understand what you’re saying.”

I heard her inhale shakily, then exhale. Another sniffle. “Ch-Charlie...”

“I’m here. What’s going on?”

“It’s... it’s Horace. Professor Cross. He... oh god...” She broke down again.

“It’s okay, Hanna. What happened? What did he do?” I asked as gently as I could.

“He’s... he’s seeing someone else,” Hanna managed between sniffles. “Another student.”

This was not a shock. In fact, I’d been expecting it, considering his pattern. Hell, Hanna already said she thought he was seeing another girl and they’d had a fight over it, but apparently she’d suppressed it, not wanting to think about it. Everyone around her had told her this fling was going to end exactly this way, but she’d refused to listen. Not that I was going to say any of that, since I knew it would just throw her into a rage and make her hang up, and she needed someone to comfort her at the moment.

“He never wants to see me anymore and he always has excuses for why we can’t go out. And I’ve seen him with her around campus, standing right next to him, barely an inch between them.”

“There could be explanations for all of that,” I offered, although I thought she was right, he’d probably found his new conquest.

“No, Charlie, you don’t understand! I saw them together less than thirty minutes ago. Kissing. In his office. I went by to surprise him, maybe take him to lunch before my afternoon class. The door was open a crack. I peeked in and... and...”

She dissolved into sobs again.

“I’m so sorry, Hanna.”

I was sorry that she was hurting so bad. She might have set herself up for this and ignored every person who told her this was exactly how it was going to end, but that didn’t mean I wanted to see her in pain.

“Her name’s Tiffany. Some freshman bimbo.”

“Well, now that you know…”

“I’m going to make him get rid of her,” she said, taking my sentence in a completely different direction. “I’m going to tell him if he doesn’t, I’ll go to his wife and tell her everything. He’s always so concerned about how she’ll deal with it in her state, and I know she’s sick and all, but I don’t care. He can choose between her knowing what he’s been doing or…”

She couldn’t finish the sentence. She had to know that she was doing the exact thing to his wife that she felt this Tiffany girl was doing to her, which is maybe why she couldn’t say it out loud. I’d even bet the wife wasn’t sick, and it was just a line he fed the girls so they could lie to themselves easier.

“Hanna, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why? He’s cheating on me!”

“I know, but there is a big difference in your position and he has a lot to lose, which means he will do a lot to protect himself. You threaten him like that, he could retaliate. Guys like him, with a small amount of power, don’t take well to being told what to do and especially not to being forced to do something.”

“So what, I just let him get away with it? Let that little slut steal him from me?”

I sighed. “Hanna, I know it hurts, but the best thing you can do is walk away. He was never going to leave his wife for you. You’re fighting for nothing. For a guy who’ll always make you second. And if you force his hand, he’ll just make your life miserable. You said it yourself, he has a history of this. Dating a freshman or sophomore, then moving on to the next one after a year or so.”

“But... but I love him, Charlie. I can’t just let him go.”

“I know it feels that way, but trust me, it’s not love. Not on his end. We warned you this would happen. He doesn’t care about you, not really. You’re just another conquest to him.”

“He does love me!” Hanna snapped. “And I love him. It’s this … this slut. She’s messing it all up.”

“Hanna...”

“Shut up. You just don’t get it. He loves me. Me! He’s not like that with her.”

“Hanna, I know you’re hurting, but you’re not being reasonable. You have to see what’s really going on.”

“God, why can’t you be on my side for once, Charlie. You tell people you’re my best friend, but when I need you, all you can do is tell me I’m an idiot and I don’t know what I’m talking about. It’s my life. I know what he feels for me.”

“I am on your side, Hanna. That’s why I’m trying to...”

She cut me off. “Then act like it! Support me. Help me figure out how to get him back.”

“You’re not getting him back, Hanna. I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m really not. But you have to see he’s already picked his next girl. Just like he got rid of the girl before you.”

“That’s not true. I can make him see, make him realize what we have. I just have to fight for him, for us.”

“Please, Hanna, don’t do anything stupid.”

“Oh, so now I’m stupid? Thanks a lot, Charlie. Some friend you are.”

“That’s not what I...”

Click.

She’d hung up on me. Part of me wanted to call her back, to keep trying to talk some sense into her, but I knew it would be futile. She was too far gone, too convinced that Professor Cross was her true love, that their relationship was something it wasn’t.

I just worried she really was going to do something she couldn’t take back.

I didn’t hear anything else from Hanna the rest of Friday and into Sunday. Part of me wanted to call her back, even through my set Friday night, I couldn’t stop worrying about her. She sounded like she was going off the deep end.

Unfortunately, I knew her well enough to know that she’d dug her heels in and she wouldn’t listen to reason until things went bad enough that she couldn’t fool herself anymore. This was her pattern with me. I swear, if I didn’t care for her so much, I would just walk away. But I couldn’t. She was family at this point, and no matter how much she screwed up, I wasn’t going to give up on her. So I worried and worried.

I was still thinking about her while packing up Saturday afternoon to get back over to the Blue Ridge for that night’s show. I was just about to head out when the front door opened and Kat walked in.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, stopping in my tracks. “I thought you had training all weekend.”

Kat sighed, dropping her bag on the floor. “I did. I mean, I do. But Hanna is on the warpath and I just couldn’t deal with her drama right now.”

“About Cross?”

“Yes!” Kat said, exasperated. “And she’s pissed that I’m not supporting her insane plan to try and take down that girl Tiffany, or blackmailing Cross, or I don’t even know at this point.”

“I tried to tell her that was a bad idea when she called me. Going after Cross is only going to blow up in her face. She got so pissed at me and hung up.”

“Exactly!” Kat threw up her hands. “But she won’t listen to reason. So I figured it was better to just...not be there for a couple days. Give her time to cool off and maybe come to her senses.”

“And your coach was okay with you taking off?”

Kat shrugged. “I promised I’d keep up with my drills and put some time in the pool here to stay in shape. It’s not ideal, but...I really needed a break, Charlie. I’ve been going non-stop since I got back to campus after New Year’s.”

I stepped forward and pulled her into a hug.

“Well, I’m glad you’re here,” I murmured into her hair. “I’ve missed you.”

She melted into my arms with a sigh. “I’ve missed you too. So much.”

We stayed like that for a long moment, just holding each other, until Kat pulled back with a small smile.

“So, you’re playing a show tonight, right? I hope you don’t mind if I tag along and play groupie for the night.”

“I think I can allow that,” I said, grinning at her. “In fact...what do you say we head over there early? Grab some lunch and you can keep me company while I do soundcheck and setup.”

“Sounds perfect,” Kat said, lacing her fingers through mine.

As we headed out to the car, I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. Even though I spoke to her all the time, it wasn’t the same as seeing her in person. It was good to have her home.

We pulled into the parking lot right as Seth was parking.

“Kat, hey. You’re home,” he said, grinning at her as we all got out.

“Yep. For tonight at least. I haven’t gotten to see you guys play in a few months and I needed a fix.”

“Well, I’ll try not to let you down,” he said, smiling at us.

We’d left his drum kit set up from the night before, so we didn’t have to haul anything in, making today much more relaxed.

“We’re going to grab some lunch before sound check. Want to join us?” Kat asked.

“Sure. It’s why I showed up early. I’m a shit cook, so when I get a chance to get some food here, especially at the employee discount, I take it.”

I’d had his cooking and he wasn’t lying. He really was a shit cook.

We were halfway through lunch when Lyla showed up. Surprisingly, she came bounding over and pulled Kat up into a hug as soon as she got to the table.

“Kat!” she said excitedly.

I blinked in surprise. I knew they got along, but I didn’t realize they’d gotten this close. Kat hugged her back just as enthusiastically.

“Hey. How’s things? Did Tabitha try that patch?”

“Yeah, she said it’s really helping and told me to tell you thanks for the recommendation.”

I was reeling a little bit. Tabitha had been hurt? I talked to Lyla, not every day, but regularly, and she hadn’t said anything. And how did Kat know?

“Patch? Was Tabitha hurt?”

“She pulled her back at work and it was really bothering her. Nothing serious, but she was in a fair amount of discomfort.”

“And you knew about it?” I asked Kat.

“Sure. Lyla told me about it and I talked to one of the trainers and got a recommendation.”

“When did Lyla tell you about it?”

“Stop being overprotective,” Lyla said, punching me in the arm. “I’m not trying to steal your girl.”

“He’s just confused cause he thinks the world revolves around him,” Kat said.

“I don’t think … I’m just …”

“Ah, poor baby, out of the loop,” Kat said, kissing me on the cheek.

“Big rock star’s ego is hurt, huh?” Lyla said, doing the same on the other cheek.

“I don’t think I like you two being friends,” I said, faux grumpy, which caused both of them to laugh.

Lyla looked and saw Kat’s plate was more or less empty. “I was going to go set up and tune. Wanna come with me? I wanted to finish telling you... uhh... you know.”

Lyla looked at me and Seth as she stammered.

“Go on,” I said to Kat. “You two gossip and have fun. Me and Seth will be over here breaking rocks and talking about fire or something.”

“Such a good boy,” Kat said, patting me on the head as she pushed her chair back and walked off with Lyla, arm in arm.

The two were giggling before they got to the stage.

“Ever feel out of the loop?” I asked Seth.

“Constantly,” he said.

We finished up eating and joined them to tune and just make sure everything was sounding good before we could head out back and hang out until it was time to play. That might be my favorite part of gigs at the Blue Ridge. Sure, we were there a lot longer than we would be at other shows, but that time just joking and being with my friends, while still technically ‘working’, was great.

We were just finishing sound check and setup, and were about to head back when I saw Alina walk through the door. That’s two surprise appearances in one day, but considering how we’d left things, this one was even bigger. We hadn’t spoken or texted since I hung up on her, and honestly, I thought that was it for our friendship. So seeing her was quite the shock.

I wasn’t the only one who was shocked. I felt Kat stiffen next to me as she spotted Alina too.

“I’ll take care of it,” I whispered to Kat, giving her arm a squeeze and heading over to Alina.

I tried to hide the irritation on my face as I went over to the front door, where she was kind of hovering, but I must not have done a good job because she flinched a little as I reached her.

“What are you doing here?” I said.

“I came to apologize.”

“It’s fine. I think we said all we needed to say on the phone.”

“I didn’t. Or I didn’t do it right. I messed up, Charlie. I ruined the one actual friendship I’ve had in years, with someone who doesn’t care how famous I am or how much money I make them.”

I got what she was saying, and even sympathized a bit, but I still wasn’t letting her off the hook that easy. “If we were friends, you wouldn’t have used me.”

“I know,” Alina said, her voice cracking slightly. “I knew I messed up as soon as you hung up on me. I was wrong, but I’m ... It’s hard to go against my management.”

What she meant was she was scared to do it, either because she didn’t want a backlash or she was afraid of her career. Again, I understood her fear. It was reasonable, but that’s when it’s most important to stand up for your friends, for what’s right. Doing it when there’s no push back is easy. It’s when the friendship is hardest that you find out if it’s real or not.

I crossed my arms and stayed silent, letting her squirm.

“I told them I wasn’t going to do it anymore. I told them I was going to make it crystal clear that we were only friends and definitely not dating, and that I wasn’t going to use you for publicity anymore. They are really mad at me, but I put my foot down.”

I relented. I might have even if she hadn’t taken such a strong stand cause I really was a marshmallow, which I’d shown again and again. The fact that she had done the right thing, eventually, was enough. More so that she had stood firm against her handlers.

“Thank you. I know that must have been difficult.”

Alina shrugged. “It was the right thing to do. I just...I hope you can forgive me, eventually.”

“You don’t have to wait for eventually. I forgive you now, and I appreciate you coming to tell me in person.”

“So friends?”

“Sure,” I said, smiling at her. “Friends.”

Alina’s face broke into a relieved grin. “Thank you, Charlie. You don’t know how much that means to me.”

I glanced over at Kat, who was still watching us with a guarded expression, and waved her over.

“Kat, come here for a sec.”

She was nervous as she walked over. I could see it on her face, doubt creeping in. She was worlds better, but her condition was never going to be cured, and her anxiety was fighting to get the best of her.

“Alina,” I said as Kat reached us and I put my arm around her waist, “I’d like you to meet my girlfriend, Kat. Kat, this is my friend, Alina.”

“It’s so nice to meet you. Charlie has told me all about you.”

“He has?” Kat asked.

“Oh, god, yes. I don’t even think he knows he’s doing it so much. This boy is crazy for you.”

The worried expression melted away as Kat leaned into me. I did talk about her a lot, that is true, but part of me felt that was Alina trying to make Kat feel better, playing it up more than would have been accurate.

“Well, I’m pretty crazy about him too.”

“I’m really glad we have a chance to meet because I wanted to … needed to apologize to you. What I did, implying there was something going on between me and Charlie... it was wrong. There are a ton of excuses why I did it, but none of them make it any less true. I’m so sorry if I caused you to worry or feel bad. Really.”

“Thank you,” Kat said. “Charlie explained what was happening with your management, and I understand. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. My management may have pushed me, but I still made the decision. It’s not an excuse.”

Kat reached out and took Alina’s hand. “Hey, I, of all people, understand what it’s like going against what everyone is telling you to do, even when you know it’s not right. Charlie may not have told you about my past, I don’t know, but I can promise I’m the queen of making bad decisions I knew were wrong because of pressure. So you’re going to get no judgment coming from me.”

Alina looked relieved, almost on the verge of tears. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“How about I introduce you around? You can stay for tonight’s show, right?”

“Uhh, well, I hadn’t…”

“Nope. You gotta stay. I know you haven’t seen Charlie play in person, like a for real show, and he has home court advantage here, so it’s even better. You can sit with me while he plays.”

“I’d love to.”

“Great,” she said, pulling away from me and linking arms with Alina. “Charlie, will be back. Go talk to Chef.”

With that, the two girls headed over to Lyla and Seth, leaving me in their wake. Kat never ceased to amaze me. She had to be the most understanding and forgiving person in the world, and it was one of the many reasons I loved her so damn much.