From the Top - Chapter 43

Dexter was still closing up the show as I walked through the backstage area to where a green room of sorts was set up for contestants. I was still in my head, coming down from the excitement of the performance, and barely had time to recognize the blur headed right before me and brace myself before Kat charged me and leapt into my arms. Before I could even say anything, she grabbed the back of my head and pulled me into a kiss.

“You were amazing!” she exclaimed as she finally pulled away. “That was amazing! I’m so proud of you! I know how much that song must’ve meant to you, to honor Willie like that. You really made it your own—he would’ve been so proud.”

The words tumbled out of her in a stream that was almost hard to follow.

“You think so?” I asked as I started to get my wits back.

“I know so. The crowd ate it up, and it really did sound like Willie, in its own way. Really, you did good. I’m certain everyone who knew him will be happy you chose his song.”

“Good,” I said, and then set her down, holding her out at arm’s length. “What are you doing here? You were supposed to come out with everyone else two days before Christmas.”

“I couldn’t wait that long, so I got on a plane as soon as I finished my finals. I almost missed your performance. Traffic was terrible, and it took forever to get here.”

“But how did you even get here? People are brought onto the lot in groups. I didn’t think you could just walk onto a studio lot.”

“I didn’t. At the watch party, concert thing, while you were on stage performing, I went to talk to the producer lady and cameraman from the show. I wasn’t sure I could get my test done and make a flight, which is why I didn’t say anything, because I didn’t want to get your hopes up or distract you, but I asked her about being able to see the show. I explained I’d be flying out in the afternoon and it would be very close, so instead of getting me tickets, since it was just me, she gave me her card and told me to call her if I showed up, and she’d get me in.”

“Really?” I said, surprised.

The production people had been okay, but they hadn’t seemed overly concerned with anything but getting the show done and getting good shots. It seemed out of character for one of them to go out of their way like that.

“Not out of the goodness of her heart. You were kind of in your own head, so I don’t think you noticed the camera recording you as you came backstage. It’s why I gave you such a big hello. To give them something to use for background footage.”

I looked around and, sure enough, there was one of the producers who might have been the same as the one who was at the football game, and a cameraman a few feet away, talking and starting to walk away. I guess they got Kat jumping into my arms and kissing me as I came off stage, which was the shot they wanted. While I kicked myself a little for not noticing them at all, if it was what was needed to get Kat backstage and to me sooner, I was willing to pay the price.

“I guess that explains why we didn’t get to talk very long last night. Well, I’m definitely glad you’re here. I’ve missed you like crazy over the last few months.” I pulled her into a tight hug.

“Me too,” she said, hugging me back. “Although, I really was too tired to talk on the phone long, and I really did want to get to bed early. I just didn’t mention the other reason I needed to get some extra sleep.”

I could see some of the producers going from contestant to contestant, and knew they were probably pushing people to pack up and head out. The crew probably had a lot of work to do setting up for the results show, and I imagined the cameramen and producers who didn’t need to be there probably wanted to just go home.

We already had the call sheets for Thursday, so there wasn’t really anything else we needed to do.

“Have you had anything to eat?” I asked.

One of the things I loved about Kat was that she could eat. A lot. Considering the amount of exercise she got on a daily basis, especially now that she was prepping for the Olympics, she actually needed to eat that much or she’d start to lose muscle. The one thing we all knew about her, though, was that we needed to keep her fed. She could get really grumpy when she was hungry.

To prove my point, she said, “I had a few protein bars on the plane, but nothing really since breakfast. I’m starving.”

“I figured,” I said, putting an arm around her and leading her to where my bag and guitar case were sitting. “Let’s head back to the hotel and drop our stuff off and then go get food. I think there are some restaurants near the hotel.”

We caught a rideshare car, which I never used before I got out to LA but had started to get the hang of, and went back to the hotel. Kat wasn’t kidding when she said she was hungry. She basically threw her bag through the open door to our room before grabbing my hand and pulling me back to the elevator.

We found an Italian place half a block down that looked like it had real food instead of the weird vegetarian stuff I’d eaten yesterday. The price was still astronomical, but at least we’d get a good meal out of it.

After we ordered, Kat asked, “So we didn’t get to talk long last night. Tell me about Venice. You said you played some music and realized you were doing it all wrong?”

“Yeah, kind of. After I ate, I went for a walk because it was nice out, and it was so... weird is how I think I’ll call it. There was the guy busking I talked about, and he saw me watching and said he could tell I played from the way I watched his hands, and asked me if I wanted to join. Honestly, the crowds were starting to thin out, and so I think maybe he was just getting bored and looking for something to change things up.”

“And that made you realize something?”

“Yeah, that music was supposed to be fun. It’s why I started playing, and it’s what I felt those first nights up on stage with Willie. Somewhere along the way, it got all mixed up. I was so focused on hitting benchmarks of where I needed to be, I think I stopped enjoying it.”

“I can see that,” she said. “So, what does that mean, though?”

“Practically? Not much. I mean, I still have benchmarks to hit and responsibilities. I just need to remember to have fun while doing it.”

“You usually have fun when you’re up on stage,” she pointed out.

“Yeah, although it’s not the same when you have a table with people who are there specifically to judge you, and knowing if I screw up I can go home. Hell, it’s been so long since I had a real gig where I was just there to play and put on a good show, without any of the rest of the stuff on top of it, I think I kind of lost track of that. You know?”

“Yeah.”

“Not that tomorrow night’s going to be any different. I’m still going to have to get up there and win, or at least do my best. But this is going to be the last one of these. After this, I want to get back to having fun. I mean, still let Warren do his thing and get us shows, still have him on the hunt for a label or whatever else, but really focus myself on putting on a show. It won’t just be better for me, but I think it’ll be better for the audience.”

“You know it won’t always be that way though, right? If you should have seen anything over the last couple of years, it should be the way the industry treats people. This probably sounds like bad advice, but don’t get so focused on that you let yourself get blindsided.”

“I’m going to try not to, but that’s what I’ve got Warren and Bennie for. Man, I can’t wait for you to meet Bennie. Three calls with the guy so far, and each time is more of a trip than the last. I started off kind of hating him, but I actually like how much of a... I’m going to say straight shooter, but that doesn’t do him justice. You’re going to love him.”

“We’ll see,” she said, sounding doubtful.

I’d given her a play-by-play of my first call with Bennie, and she’d decided he was too much like Aaron, a braggart and loudmouth. I’d admit he had some of the same qualities, but he was definitely not the same kind of person.

“Okay, enough about me. How was your final?”

“It was fine. I know I passed.”

“Of course you passed. You’ve got A’s on every assignment so far. Just accept you’re a genius and move on.”

“Whatever,” she said, twirling a noodle on her fork.

She might be doing a lot better with her condition, handling anxiety and everything, but she still had a bad habit of lessening herself whenever she got a chance. I don’t know if it was just so she could hide from the attention or what, but it was the next thing she was working on. Being able to accept she was good at things, and stop the negative self-talk.

“Don’t ‘whatever’ me,” I said, not willing to let her get away with it.

“Fine. I nailed it. I did great. I’m amazing,” she said, but she had a slight little grin which told me, even with her sarcastic wording, it had the effect I wanted.

After a moment, she shook off whatever she was feeling and said, “Changing subjects, did you get your college applications out?”

“Yeah, I finished submitting them last night, for UNC and NC State.”

“Just those? Is there a reason you didn’t apply for more, or any out of state? Don’t get me wrong, as much as I would love for us to be at the same school or at least close enough to see each other all the time, I don’t want you to feel like you have to limit your choices for me. We’re going to be together no matter where you are, Charlie.”

“I didn’t just pick those schools because I wanted to stay close to you,” I clarified. “I mean, that’s definitely a perk if we ended up at the same school or at least close by. But that wasn’t the only reason.”

Kat raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to explain further.

“It’s just... so much is still up in the air, you know?” I continued. “Especially after this competition and however far I make it. That’s gonna have a huge impact on where my career goes next. I still don’t even know if I’ll get signed to a label or what opportunities might come up. It could mean being on the road a lot more or needing to move to LA or Nashville to work with producers or whatever. I still wanted to get my applications out like I promised you and everyone else I would. But honestly, if my music starts to take off after this, I’m not sure how much college is really gonna fit into the picture.”

“So you’re thinking you might defer for a year or something if you need to focus on your career?” Kat asked.

“Maybe. Either that or just do some online classes that I can fit around my schedule. I’m not saying I’m not going to go to college or anything, I want to keep my options open.”

“I guess that makes sense, although applying and having to accept are not the same thing. Applying to more schools only gives you choices. It doesn’t mean you definitely have to go there or anything.”

“Okay, you’re right, I guess,” I said with a shrug. “I probably should have done more, but I got focused on other stuff.”

“It’s okay,” she said, giving me a soft look. “I know you’re under a lot of pressure, and I’m not trying to put more on you. I just love you and want you to have all the chances you can. Just like you wanted for me.”

“You already won,” I said, chuckling. “You don’t have to keep selling me.”

“Alright. After you find out you made it through the semi-finals tomorrow, it’ll be just you and me here for a whole week. Mrs. Phillips, Hanna, and everyone doesn’t come in until next Monday. I know you’re going to have to go practice and my coach arranged for me to do some practices at UCLA so I don’t lose too much over the holiday, but there will be plenty of time for us to do other stuff. I’m going to sit down with you and we’re going to apply to a bunch more schools, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good boy,” she said, causing both of us to laugh.

The conversation turned to lighter subjects as we finished up our meal, mostly filled with Kat talking about stuff at school. When the waitress came by and dropped off the check, instead of leaving, she kind of hovered, looking like she wanted to say something.

“Yes?” I prompted her.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to... are you one of the people on The Stage? One of the guys in the kitchen was swearing you were a contestant.”

I blinked in surprise. “Uh, yeah, that’s me.”

“I knew it!” the waitress beamed. “You’re Charlie, right? My roommates and I have been watching every week. We were just watching the semi-finals tonight back in the kitchen. You were amazing! And what you said about your mentor and playing his last song. Oh my god!”

“Oh, uh, yeah, that’s me. Thanks. I’m really glad you enjoyed the performance,” I said, a little taken aback.

“Are you kidding? All the guys back there were going crazy for you during the show. Definitely the highlight of the night.”

“Well, tell the guys thanks from me too,” I said, feeling my cheeks get warm.

“Will do!” the waitress chirped before heading off.

I looked over at Kat, who was staring at me with wide eyes.

“Someone just recognized you in public,” she said in an awed whisper. “This is so weird!”

I grinned. “No kidding. That’s the first time it’s happened.”

Thankfully, other than the entire kitchen staff coming out to wave at me as we left, that was as intense as it got. In the back of my head, I knew this was the kind of thing that happened, but I’d never really expected it.

It was nice, but also incredibly strange.

***

Thursday night I was back on the studio lot, standing on the darkened stage with the other fifteen contestants, waiting for the show to start. After what seemed like an eternity, the announcer started counting down, letting the audience know we were starting. When he hit zero, there was a beat of silence, then the show’s intro song started playing over the speakers, incredibly loud on stage, now that I didn’t have my in-ear monitors blocking out some of the noise. The bright spotlights swung around the theatre, sweeping over the cheering audience before landing on the judges’ table, where three of the four judges sat.

Instead of being in his seat, Dexter Heart walked in from the wings, carrying a microphone, waving to the audience as he found his mark in the center of the stage, in front of us.

“Welcome back to the results show, everyone! The votes are in, and it’s time to find out which seven contestants will be moving on to the finals, and sadly, which seven will be headed home tonight.”

“Before we get to the results, let’s re-introduce our fantastic panel of judges...” he started to say, pointing at the other judges, but I tuned it out.

They did basically the same introductions every time, and I was too much in my head about the results to really be able to focus. This was different than the previous rounds. It wasn’t just about impressing the judges anymore. The results were in the hands of viewers across the country who had been watching, and not only watching the performances. While it was supposed to be a contest over who the best performer was, there was a reason they added in all the stuff from the house and interviews in between the performances.

There had been very good performers sent home before their time in earlier episodes because they hadn’t been so likable. People watching at home formed their own opinions and attachments. The results could easily come down to factors beyond just talent - likability, editing, controversy.

I knew in my gut I had delivered one of my best performances last night. But that didn’t guarantee anything. If enough people just didn’t connect with me for whatever reason, I could still be heading home. It was nerve-wracking, to say the least.

By now we’d gone through a few results shows, but they threw in a twist this time, with Dexter bringing up two contestants at a time. Dexter would give a quick recap of their performances from the previous night, the judging panel would offer up either praise or criticism, and then Dexter would dramatically announce which one was staying and which was going home.

They’d done us in groups before, but this time it was a little different, and after a few cycled through, I could see the pattern emerge. Each group they brought up, one was staying and one was going home which, depending on the people being paired, it could be obvious or not who was continuing to the final.

Not that it was always obvious. Several of the pairs were very evenly matched, and the judges were working overtime to keep everyone guessing. Performances that were technically amazing, but were criticized for lacking personality or not “connecting” with viewers, and others where the contestant made mistakes but got praised for showmanship.

When there were just four of us left, I knew they were going to put me last. I was paired with Marissa, Dillon, and Laila. Since I was positive she was going to continue and I was pretty sure Dillon wasn’t, my guess was I wouldn’t be with Marissa. One of us would be with Dillon and the other with Laila. Kat and I had watched a recording of the semi-finals, and they kept focusing on me a lot, with shots of me backstage watching other performers and a much longer B-roll package before I came up, which included some of the concert we’d done at the football stadium for the final prelim show airing.

Laila had been pretty good, although I still think she’d struggled compared to some of the others that had already made it to the finals. Admittedly, the distance between performers was small, and a lot of those struggles were pretty technical, so there was a chance the audience didn’t notice them. It just made sense if they were focusing drama on me, to make my getting through seem as close as possible.

Laila had also been fairly popular in the house and apparently had good ratings because she showed up a lot when the show aired. She was a rocker chick with jet-black hair chopped into an edgy pixie cut. Covered in tattoos and always wearing some leather combo, on the face of it, she shouldn’t have been popular. But she’d been well-liked by the other people in the house and was really friendly and outgoing. She partied too much for us to have ever hung out, but I was aware she was well thought of.

Sure enough, the next names called were Marissa and Dillon. They went to Marissa first, which wasn’t a gimme, because they’d been switching up who they talked to first each time. In this case, it was still obvious. The judges showered her with accolades, focusing especially on her stage presence and ability to work the crowd, which was very much in contrast to Dillon, whom the judges praised for his artistry and willingness to take risks, but ultimately deemed the execution “lacking”.

It was no surprise, then, when Dexter said, “Marissa... congratulations. You are going to the finals! And Dillon, I’m sorry to say your journey ends here. But you should still be so proud of how far you’ve come.”

Dillon shook Marissa’s hand, but I could see him blinking back tears, disappointment all over his face.

As he stomped off, Dexter called mine and Laila’s name. I still felt that nervous energy in the pit of my stomach. I was pretty confident that I was going to beat her, but there was a chance that, if people voted based on personalities and not just the performances, her popularity might give her an edge.

“And now for our final two performers, vying for that last spot. Charlie and Laila. Before we talk to them and hear from our judges, let’s see a little of how each did last night,” he said, turning to the large screen behind us.

Clips started playing from each of our performances, hers first and then mine. She’d done a rock number that was pretty good, but her stage presence needed some work. Which, coming from me, was saying something. While I was holding in one spot for my song, I think it was obvious, watching clips of me, how emotional I was playing Willie’s song. Hearing back, there were still things I would have changed about that performance, but I always felt that way, which is why I tried not to watch a video of me performing if I could help it.

“Amazing, both of you,” Dexter said when the video ended. “Laila, we’ll go to you first. How did you feel about your performance on Tuesday?”

“Pretty freaking good,” she said, I guess censoring herself because she knew we were live. “Listen, I know I don’t have the most powerful voice in this competition. But I can still put on one hell of a show. I’m confident people watching felt that spark. And at the end of the day, I just wanna see people having a good time, you know? If I managed that, I’m satisfied.”

“That’s a good goal to have. Let’s see what my fellow judges have to say about your performance,” he said, turning to the judges’ table.

“Laila, your voice is undeniably gorgeous,” Hal said, leaning back, a serious look on his face. “Such purity and control. However, I think it might do you well to watch back over your performance and really critique your choices. If I’m being honest, there was a real lack of connection or spark needed to captivate an audience. You seemed almost nervous to engage or move around the stage.”

“I have to agree,” Dakota said. “You’ve sure got a set of pipes on ya! Your phrasing and tone were real pretty. But I had the same problem as Hal. I wanted to see you owning that stage! You seemed glued to that mic stand, which for your style of music, really isn’t what you want.”

“That can be hard to hear, but I think it’s something a lot of us struggled with when we were up and coming,” Dexter said. “I know I had to really focus on it when my career was starting out. Okay, let’s move on to Charlie. Charlie, how about you? How did you feel about your performance?”

“I’m never sure what to say about that, at least that doesn’t make me sound conceited,” I said. “The song I did meant so much to me. I really just wanted to give my mentor one last time to shine, and let everyone see what an amazing artist he was. If I did that, then I’m happy, no matter how this turns out.”

“Well, I have to say, for me, you absolutely did that. Blues is such a big influence on music, especially rock and roll, that it was great to hear someone really pay homage to that style while making it modern and fresh. I could feel the raw emotion coming through you, and I think the rest of the audience felt it too. It was absolutely captivating.”

“I must echo Dexter’s sentiments,” Hal said. “Your performance was incredibly captivating and moved me profoundly. The way you honored your mentor while updating that blues sound for modern audiences was masterful. You have immense natural talent but also a depth of musical knowledge well beyond your years.”

“As a country girl, I love hearing the sounds of the South. You know Country and Western traces a lot of its roots back to the same places Blues came out of, so we have a lot in common there. You took us straight to the heart of the Delta with that song, and I loved every second of it. The emotion poured into every line... it was heavenly. You’ve got crazy skills but also a real maturity and authenticity they just can’t teach. You’re the whole package, Charlie.”

“With the risk of just saying ‘Me too,’ I agree with my fellow judges. Your artistry and musicianship continues to blow me away week after week, Charlie. And the fact that you’re equally adept across genres shows how versatile you are as an artist. You clearly understand how to pay homage to musical roots while modernizing sounds. And the best part is, you’re just getting started! Seriously, the sky’s the limit for you.”

“Alright,” Dexter said. “Now the moment of truth. Who will be our last finalist? Will it be Laila, with her high-intensity rock anthem, or Charlie, with his heartfelt song, The End of the Blues? You both shined so brightly, but only one spot remains in the finals.”

He paused for dramatic effect, milking the reveal for all it was worth.

“The last contestant moving on... to the finals... is... Charlie Nelson.”

The theater erupted into deafening cheers. I reached out and shook Laila’s hand. Thankfully, I didn’t have to think of something comforting to say. She mouthed the words ‘Good job’ and walked off stage.

I always felt a little bad every time I beat someone, well, almost every time, but I was ecstatic. I’d felt good going into tonight, but I’d had enough things go wrong over the last few years that I always prepared myself for disappointment.

I was one performance away from sealing this thing up.