Elegy - Chapter 21

We broke apart, both breathing a little heavily, having found a quiet, kind of secluded section of the park to continue our already amazing date.

Sydney gazed at me earnestly and said, “I just realized, we need to go back to your house. Those notes I gave you two weeks ago, I need them for a project and it’s due on Monday. I’ve been putting it off because I was too afraid to face you, and I’ve waited too long. I have to start and finish it tomorrow.”

“That is what you’re thinking about right now?” I blurted out.

Okay, so she’d asked me something serious, but considering what we’d just been doing, I would have thought her mind would have been on that and not a project she needed to work on.

“No, that wasn’t what I was thinking about. At least, mostly it wasn’t. It kind of just popped into my head just now, but I was really worried about it yesterday. I kept meaning to mention it to you, but then we’d talk and I’d remember how great you were, and I’d kind of forget about it again. This is really not like me. I’m usually a lot more responsible than this, but us being apart and then back together has my brain all twisted up.”

“I couldn’t help but notice all the flattery you just put in there. I don’t suppose that was to butter me up so I’d agree to stop making out with you and drive you to my house to get your paperwork.”

“Is it working?” she asked with a sly smile, before pushing me as I gave a fake pout. “No, I wasn’t buttering you up. I really kept forgetting. And after we get it and I don’t have it distracting me, we can always pick this back up.”

“Kat and Mrs. Phillips are there,” I pointed out.

“Okay, maybe not, but our date isn’t over yet. I just want to be able to focus on you, and I can’t do it while I’m thinking about this and worried I might forget again.”

I groaned and dropped onto my back, looking up at the clouds, mostly for dramatic effect.

“Fine, we can go. After, though, how about a movie? It’s still early. We could make it to Asheville, see a movie, and be back by six.”

“Works for me,” she said, lying on top of me and giving me another kiss. “Thank you for humoring me.”

We collected our stuff and went to my car. It was just before lunch, so there were more people out and about than when we got to the park, but it was still quiet. It took a major community event to make our little town actually busy.

When we got to Hanna’s house, the garage was closed, but both Kat and Mrs. Phillips’ cars were in the driveway, which wasn’t where they were when I’d left that morning, which meant I had to park out on the street. I didn’t mind since that’s where I normally parked when Hanna was home, but Mrs. Phillips almost always put her car in the garage.

Normally, Kat would already be off at swim practice by now, so it was also odd that her car was there.

“If we’re going to make it to the movie, we gotta hurry,” Sydney said, interrupting my train of thought.

She practically dragged me to the door as I fished out my keys. The lights were all out downstairs, so they must both have been in their rooms, I thought as I pushed open the door.

“Surprise!”

I backed up in surprise, bumping into Sydney, who pushed me forward back into the room.

The lights flicked on, revealing the crowd filling the living room. Mom, my bandmates, Chef and Willie, even Hanna, who I thought was still away at school. They’d attached streamers and balloons to the walls, and a sign that said “Happy Birthday” hung down from the ceiling, across one wall.

“Surprise,” Sydney said softly into my ear behind me.

I turned to find Sydney grinning at me, clearly pleased with herself for pulling off the surprise. I shook my head, a smile spreading across my face as the initial shock wore off.

“You little sneak,” I said, nudging her playfully with my elbow. “This is really why you wanted to come back to the house, isn’t it?”

“Guilty as charged,” she replied, tapping the tip of my nose with her finger. “And the look on your face was totally worth it.”

I gave her a look that got a giggle out of her, and we made our way into the living room, accepting hugs and pats on the back from my friends. They’d done this last year, so I should have seen it coming, but being with Sydney, especially after everything that had happened, had thrown me off. It was touching to see all of my friends and family, and even Marco, had come to wish me a happy birthday. Hanna was particularly a surprise since neither Kat nor I had spoken to her since our fight just after the Raleigh show. I was happy to see that she’d been smart enough to leave Troy behind.

It was weird. I’d been so stressed about my fight with Sydney, and now it felt like everything was perfect. It was quite the emotional whiplash.

Mom found me and pulled me into a tight hug.

“I hope you don’t mind, I wanted to throw you a little party. I know this year has been … challenging, to say the least, but I’m so proud of the man you’re becoming.”

“So this was your idea,” I said, squeezing her back.

“Only that we do it. Katherine and Mrs. Phillips did a lot of the work to pull it off. It was Katherine’s idea to get your girlfriend involved. Maybe sometime in the next few weeks, the three of us can have dinner. I haven’t really met her, but she seems like a sweet girl.”

Sydney, always thoughtful, had moved away from me once I’d started talking to people, giving me space to say hello, and was over standing next to Kat.

“Yeah, I’d like that. I’ll talk to her. And thanks for this,” I said, indicating all the people in the room. “It means a lot.”

“Good. Now, go enjoy your party.”

She was smiling, and for the first time since Dad had come back, the smile reached her eyes. I hadn’t spent as much time as I should have with her over the last two months. We’d reconnected some on the New Year’s trip, but with school, the stuff with Mr. Packer, my music, the stuff with both Marco and Warren, and the drama with Sydney, not to mention baseball, I’d kind of put her on the back burner while I dealt with life. I needed to fix that.

The next people I ran into were Seth and Willie, which was an odd pairing. They’d met at the Blue Ridge, of course, but I hadn’t ever seen the two of them having an extended conversation or anything, so it was odd to see them together talking now, laughing about something as I walked up.

“Thanks for coming, guys. I really appreciate it.”

“Are you kidding?” Seth asked. “We wouldn’t miss your birthday.”

Willie chuckled and clapped me on the back. “Happy birthday, kid. Seventeen, huh? You’re growing up too fast. Seems like just yesterday you were hobblin’ up the steps of Chef’s place, for the first time, on your crutches.”

“I know, it’s been wild,” I said, glancing around the room at the gathering of friends and family. “It’s worked out okay though, I think.”

“Yeah, I’d say it has. ’Course, I’m just about ready to retire, and I thought I could hand the Ridge over to you, and here you are, getting famous. You’ll be heading off and playing at stadiums and whatnot before long.”

“I don’t know about that. Besides, you’re too young to retire.”

“God,” he said, followed by a loud laugh. “I don’t know about that. We’ll figure out something though.”

“We will,” I said, patting him on the shoulder. “Thanks, Willie, for everything.”

He gave me a nod and I excused myself and made my way across the room to where Hanna and Kat were talking. Our friendship had really been tested over the last several months, and her being here was the first sign that we might be able to repair things.

Kat saw me approaching and nudged Hanna with a smile. Hanna, for her part, looked equally shy and embarrassed, which was a weird look for her. Of the three of us, Hanna had always been the most sure, headstrong one of us. It really showed how weird things had gotten. Apparently, she and Kat had had time to make up, and they seemed to be getting along well when I walked up, which was a good sign.

“Hey,” she said, only making the briefest eye contact.

I surprised her when I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug. “I’ve missed you so much.”

After a moment’s surprise, she hugged me back just as tight and said, “Me too. I’m so sorry I ghosted you guys. I feel so awful about everything that happened, everything I said.”

“It’s all water under the bridge,” I said, pulling back and putting a hand on both her and Kat’s shoulders. “What matters is we’re all together. Let’s just promise to never fight like that again. Okay?”

Hanna wiped away a tear that had been forming and nodded.

“Agreed,” Kat said.

“Thanks, guys.”

“So, you’re here by yourself,” I said carefully.

What I was really asking was if she was still with Troy, but I didn’t want to start any more fights.

She read me like a book, nodding before saying, almost shyly, “Troy and I are still together, yes. I don’t want to talk about him though, okay? I know you guys don’t like him, so I’ll keep the Troy stuff with Troy and my stuff with you guys just with you guys, the two never to meet. Okay?”

“For now,” I said. “We don’t want you to have to hide part of your life from us, and we’ll work on getting along better with him. Right?”

The last part was directed at Kat, who nodded, although extremely reluctantly.

“We’ll figure out a way to make this work. The important part is we don’t let anyone get between our friendship.”

“I can work with that,” Hanna said.

We pulled into a three-way hug, just happy that we’d managed to get over this hump.

The party went strong for several hours. There weren’t a lot of us, so I got a chance to really talk to everyone who’d come, with the exception of Marco, who always seemed to go out of his way to be somewhere else when I came to talk to someone he was talking to. For a while, I kind of ignored it, since I didn’t want to deal with his nonsense and I was having so much fun. I was surprised he even came, to be honest. We’d been pretty friendly when I’d first started getting the band together, but as soon as it became clear he wasn’t the front man, he’d started being a problem.

As the party was winding down, I found myself standing with Lyla and her girlfriend, Tabitha. We made casual small talk for a few minutes before Tabitha, as usual, excused herself. I hoped that at some point she might consider being friendly, if not friends, considering how much time Lyla and I spent on tour, playing or practicing. I wasn’t going to push it, though. Their relationship was still only about four months old, and I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable.

“I listened to the interview again. You did so well,” Lyla said.

“I did okay. It was short and we spent most of it talking about the fire.”

“Yeah, but you managed to mention our next two shows and the album, and in a way that made it funny and not too annoying. With the number of people listening, we’re sure to pick up some audience from it.”

“I hope so. How did Marco take it? He changes the subject every time it comes up.”

“He took it how Marco takes everything that isn’t directly about him. You know how he is.”

“I’m starting to get very tired of this.”

“I know, and you know I back your play. My concern is still with Seth. If we boot Marco, Seth will leave too. The only way we keep Seth and get rid of Marco is if he does awful enough that even Seth has to see it as a dick move, instead of making apologies for it. Until then, any move will basically break up the band.”

“I know. That’s why I haven’t pushed anything, but I’m not sure if I can wait for him to do something big and stupid. All the little stuff is starting to add up and get on my nerves.”

“Well, I’ve got your back whichever way you go. Should I start looking for a replacement drummer in case Seth leaves?”

“No. I know it will hurt us to have to find someone if Seth leaves, but I don’t want him to find out we’re looking for a replacement for him. If we’ve been letting Marco get away with his shit to keep from breaking up the band, doing something like that would guarantee it. Plus, it isn’t fair to Seth. We need to give him the chance to make a real choice.”

“Okay. Your call.”

“Thanks. Sorry for bringing things down and chasing off Tabitha.”

“She’s okay. She just doesn’t care about all the band drama.”

“She also thinks it’s weird to be hanging around a seventeen-year-old.”

“Sure, but from her perspective, you can see it is a little odd. There’s a pretty large age difference.”

“I know, and I’m not pushing. Just saying, she can stay around while we talk if she wants. I won’t bite.”

“Maybe that’s the problem. I do bite. Maybe that’s why she wants to be around me more than you,” Lyla said, laughing.

“See, that’s more than I wanted to know.”

We did cake and presents and generally had a good time for the last thirty minutes of the party, and then Chef had to get back to the Blue Ridge, and the rest of us had stuff to do until our show that night. Hanna was planning on staying through lunch the next day before heading out, so I think everyone but Mrs. Phillips and Mom were going tonight. Everyone decided to head off in their own direction until then, grabbing dinner and whatnot.

Mrs. Phillips, who wanted time with her daughter, invited Kat, Sydney, and me out to dinner, but I declined. I think when Sydney said she had other things to do too, Mrs. Phillips might have realized what we were really planning, but she didn’t say anything. While I wasn’t going to push the envelope too far under her roof, I did want some make-out time with my girlfriend while everyone was out of the house.

“Stay downstairs … and clothed,” Mrs. Phillips said as they were leaving, causing Kat and Hanna to giggle like mischievous school kids, and Sydney to turn pink.

“Did she have to say that?” Sydney said as soon as I shut the door, to the growing laughter from my friends.

“Probably. I mean, if I had my way, we would be upstairs and not dressed, but since we were warned …”

“A bit presumptuous, aren’t you?” she said over her shoulder as she headed into the living room again.

“I mean, it is my birthday, right?”

Sydney stopped next to the big, cushiony chair, and I knew what she was thinking. I dropped into it, leaning back over one arm, and pulled her down onto my lap so we were both kind of sitting, but she was also lying across my chest.

“So, what does the birthday boy want to do for his birthday?” she asked in a throaty whisper, her face inches from mine.

“This,” I said, putting my hand behind her head and pulling her in for a kiss.

We sat like that for what was probably ten minutes, our passion ramping up, when my phone rang. It had been so quiet in the house, aside from the sounds we were making, that the sound of it ringing made both of us jump.

We both laughed as I lifted her off of me and got up to get my phone from the coffee table.

“Hey, Mom, what’s up?” I asked, seeing who it was on the screen.

“He’s here!” she practically screamed into the phone, her voice in a panic. “He’s trying to get in.”

In the pause between the two sentences, I could hear an intermittent banging, sharp and short.

“Dad?” I asked.

It was obvious who it was. He’d done this the last time, but he hadn’t gotten into her house, just stood outside yelling. If he was trying to kick his way in, he was escalating things. I hadn’t heard that he got out of jail after the last time he did this, but now Mom had the restraining order. So this time was the last time he was going to do this.

“Yes.”

“Sydney, call your father. My dad’s back at my mom’s and is trying to kick his way inside.”

She scrambled to her phone and started dialing.

“Mom, I’ll be right …”

I was interrupted by a crashing sound and a scream. The phone was still connected, but her voice sounded far away. I didn’t wait any longer. I ran out the door as fast as my legs could carry me, hurdling the creek and sprinting up the slope to the trailer. I still had my cell phone in my hand, but I was focused on getting there fast, so I wasn’t holding it to my ear.

I rounded the trailer and could see the door hanging off one hinge, kind of leaning inside. It was nearing dusk, but there was still enough light outside that the inside of the trailer was a dark void. I took the steps two at a time and burst through the destroyed front door.

As my eyes adjusted to the change in light, I had a split second to realize what was happening before the large metal pan swinging toward me connected. I managed to turn my head slightly and get my head down, to at least not take the blow straight in the face and hopefully have the thickest part of my head protect me, but the move was fractional at best.

Pain exploded through my head as it connected, and everything went completely white for a moment. I staggered and dropped to my knees and then all fours, finding it impossible to tell which direction was up or down, a wave of nausea passing through me.

I didn’t have time to think about that as a foot connected hard with my midsection. I ignored the pain and wrapped my arms around his foot, rolling into him. If he was drunk, and he probably was, there was no way he’d be able to hold his balance through that.

He swore and crashed to the floor. Normally, I would have rolled back onto him and followed through with the attack, but I was still messed up from the hit with the pan and needed to clear my head. My vision was coming back, but everything was kind of fuzzy. The sound was also muted, like someone had turned the volume way down. I shook my head, trying to clear it, and almost fell over. My equilibrium was way off.

I could see enough to see he was getting back up. I tried to grab him as he charged at me, but missed. My limbs weren’t doing what I was telling them to. My arm sailed over him as he tackled me, our bodies colliding. We smashed into the small round table Mom and I used to eat at together, wood splintering and flying across the kitchen.

I grabbed a chair near me and swung it with all my might, smashing it across his back. He howled in pain and rolled away from me, allowing me to roll in the other direction, small pieces of wood stabbing into my skin.

We both got back up at the same time, my vision clearing slightly, but everything was still fuzzy and starting to go a little double. I think the chair knocked some sense into him because he was being more cautious now instead of charging right in. We circled each other slowly in the small room.

When he made a move to lunge forward and swing, I charged forward under it, aiming a punch toward his stomach. Everything felt off, so I couldn’t do anything with precision, leaving me only big moves and swings. Even with his entire midsection as a target, it was only a glancing blow. He brought an elbow down into the small of my back that hurt like hell but didn’t knock me down.

I did the opposite, in fact. Standing up swiftly, I brought my arm up elbow-first, catching it right under his chin. He staggered back into the counter, a stream of blood painting the kitchen wall and ceiling in an arch. I moved in, trying to throw body blows as fast as I could, but I wasn’t able to get any power behind them since each hit threatened to make me lose my balance and end up on the floor again.

I was hurting him, but not enough to take the fight out of him. He slammed a fist into my chest that sent me staggering back, desperately sucking wind. He took the opportunity to try and tackle me again, and we both tumbled onto the floor in a tangle of limbs. I wrapped my legs around his waist, still trying to get enough air back into my system, while he thrashed, pummeling my sides while I desperately tried to hold on.

I roared and arched my back as I rolled, flipping him over onto the floor. If I’d had better motor function at that moment, I would have been able to get him in a solid lock and could have held him until the sheriff arrived, but I slipped. My leg unlocked some as he landed, and he was able to scramble away.

He was hurt, though. The slam did its damage, and he was limping badly as he tried to circle around me again. I had just started to stand up when a wave of darkness crashed over me, my vision going again, and bile pushing at my throat. It was all I could do to not collapse, and he saw it.

Instead of tackling me, this time he shoulder-blocked me. Normally, I could have dealt with that easily, the way he was limping, but I was messed up. Nothing was working. I stumbled and then fell backward, banging my head against the windowsill. My vision grayed along the edges. I was so close to just passing out, but held on.

I tried to push myself back up, ignoring the nausea and pain, until his foot slammed into my stomach. Not a kick, but a stomp. Already feeling nauseous, I vomited. Rolling away from it, I curled into a ball as he began kicking me over and over. In the legs. In the side. Everywhere.

There was a scream like a wild banshee. I opened my eyes in time to see my mom launch herself onto my father’s back. He was so focused on me, stomping away, that he didn’t even notice her until her arms were already wrapped around his neck. He swore, his foot missing me as he struggled to stay balanced, her entire weight hanging off of him.

“Get off me, you crazy bitch!” he roared.

Even with all of her anger, her fingers clawing into him, he was just too strong for her. He shook her violently, managing to throw her off. She fell back, hard, against the counter, her hands landing on the flat surface for balance.

He turned his attention back to me until she screamed again. Her hands had closed around the handle of a knife in the knife block close to where she fell. She screamed again and swung it at him wildly, the blade slicing across his arm, tearing through the sleeve of his shirt and leaving a bloody gash behind.

“You goddamn whore!” he raged.

She paused. Maybe it was a fear reaction, trauma from all the years of abuse, or maybe she was just surprised she’d made contact at all. Either way, it gave him an opportunity to react. He backhanded her across the face. Her head snapped to the side as she fell, ricocheting off the corner of the counter before crumpling to the floor. The knife slipped from her fingers and clattered on the linoleum beside her.

He reached down and scooped up the knife, giving her a last, furious glance before turning his attention to me. I struggled to my feet as he stalked towards me, knife in front of him, his expression crazed with anger.

I could barely stay standing; the world was fading in and out around me. I staggered aside as he swung, the blade cutting through my shirt, but not me. I grabbed his wrist, desperately trying to stop him stabbing me. We struggled, getting tangled as he tried to overpower me. I had no strength left in me and barely any dexterity. All I could do was try to wrap myself around him as much as possible to keep him from slashing at me again.

He refused to drop the knife, grasping it tightly. I wrapped my arm around his, trapping the knife with my body. Dangerous, but I had to keep his hand immobilized. He slammed me into the counter, agony shot through my spine. My vision flickered. If I passed out, I knew I was dead.

I stomped his foot with everything I had left. He roared, stumbling but not releasing the knife or me. We continued to fight over the weapon. I twisted to try and stop him from pulling his arm free and lost my balance. I held on to him tightly as I fell, bringing him down with me.

We crashed to the floor, rolling and grappling. I wrapped my legs around his, holding on even as darkness crept further into my field of view. I was all but blind. My strength was fading, but I refused to release him. As we rolled, he lifted us up slightly. His arm started to get free as I slammed into the kitchen floor, hard.

I was still trying to hold onto him as the world rushed away. When darkness finally overtook me and my limbs went limp, I had one last thought of Mom.