Fanfare (Country Roads #2) - Chapter 38

We had our first game back Thursday night and for us, it was an important one, since it was the last one of the regular season and would determine if we made it into the playoffs. We were on the bubble and were tied with another team that lost their game the night before. If we lost tonight, it would be a coin toss to see which of us got in, which wasn’t how we wanted to get into the playoffs, so tonight was a must-win for us.

The team we were playing was already in the playoffs but they were only one game ahead of us, so it was still a very doable matchup, or at least it seemed that way before the game got underway. We started off pretty rocky. As one of the newest and youngest members of varsity, I was near the end of the batting roster, so I had to sit on my hands during our first two innings as they proceeded to knock down each batter we sent up with three strikes and no balls apiece. Marcus had batted fourth and was up at the beginning of the second inning where he missed a pitch so hard I thought he was going to end up spinning around like a top.

Our worst moment was shortly after that during the top of the third inning. They had a man on first and second and one out and their guy hits this loping grounder to left field and our guy was in the perfect position to scoop it up and hit the third baseman and get us our next out. Instead, he reached down to scoop up the ball and it popped straight out of his glove and over his shoulder behind him. For the life of me, I can’t figure out how his glove had to be positioned to make the physics on that work, but it did since he went scrambling after it as it continued to roll away from him. The whole time their third base coach is whirling his arms telling his guy to keep going through third to home and their guy who’d been on first was rounding second.

It took what seemed like forever before our fielder grabbed the ball, turned, and got it off to third, but not before they ended up with a run and runners on third and second. Before we managed to close the side out they managed to pick up another run and everyone was acting like we were out of it. The fielder that caused the error practically broke his fist when he hit the back of the dugout, which was stupid since he was one of our better hitters and we couldn’t afford to get anything going.

I’d like to say I did better when I was up in the third inning, but I caught the ball wrong and popped it off to right field where their guy picked it off like it was fielding practice.

Despite the disaster that was the third inning, we managed to stabilize things at that point and held them at two runs as we went into the bottom of the sixth, which didn’t leave us a lot of time to sort things out.

Once their starter was pulled and they switched to their closer, we started to get guys on base. When I got up to bat, we had two outs and guys on first and second, which isn’t a great place to be, since it cut down on our options. We didn’t have any more outs so I couldn’t move the runners into better scoring position and I’d need at least a double to get even one run, which wasn’t going to close the point gap.

I took a few breaths and tried to calm myself down, since I think the pressure of knowing state was on the line and how bad things were going was slowly starting to get to everyone, which is why we were playing like crap.

The first ball was low and outside. I was pretty sure it was a ball, but it was a close call the umpire called it a strike. There hadn’t been any drop to the ball and it had looked to hold a constant speed, so I was pretty sure it wasn’t a slider or changeup, which meant his fastball didn’t have a lot on it. I tucked that information away and readied my stance as he took his stance, looked at our guy on first base, and went into his windup. As soon as the ball left his glove, I knew it was another fastball, and this one was on track to be right down the plate. It wasn’t a bad pitch, but after seeing the last pitch I had a good feeling for this ball, tracked it in, and timed my swing. It was a thing of beauty and just about as good as anything I’d done in the batting cage.

I caught the ball right in the sweet spot just in from the edge of the bat and followed through on my swing. I could feel it connect and the ball leaped off my bat in a beautiful arc. I knew it was going over the back fence the moment I made contact, although I still tossed my bat and put my head down, running all out for first. When I finally lifted my head I saw I’d actually closed up most the way on the guy we’d had on first as the other two jogged their way around. I didn’t actually see the ball go over the fence, but we already had three runs up on the board, so I knew it had.

The third baseline was filled with my teammates who cheered and slapped at me as I jogged by, making sure to step firmly on home so I didn’t become one of those urban legends about a player who hit a home run but never stepped on home and got called out.

This was my first home run all year and it couldn’t have come at a better time. I think we’d gotten in our own heads after they started tearing into us, because as soon as that ball went over the back fence, the entire game turned around. We shut them down in the top of the seventh, giving us a three to two win and our entry into the state playoffs.

None of the guys went nuts or anything, since most of them had been on the team last year and had already been to state before. I didn’t care, ’cause I was practically floating back to the locker room.

Junior varsity wasn’t playing until tomorrow and Harry hadn’t joined the other members of JV that had come out to watch the game, so I didn’t even have him there to ruin my elation.

“Great job, guys,” Coach Dean said as we all sat on the benches to listen to the post-game speech. “I know that first half of the game was rough, but you battled it out and didn’t let it get to you. When the momentum turned, all of you were ready for it and stepped up. Marcus, good job on that double play in the seventh. It was nicely done. James, that was a great catch to close out the seventh, just like we do in practice. That’s how I want to see it done.”

He continued to go through the guys who played tonight, finding a good moment where they’d done well, pointing it out as one of the things that had helped us win. I’d watched him do this before, so I knew he wasn’t skipping me. He wanted to make sure everyone understood their contribution was important and I’d appreciated it when I hadn’t done great in a game before.

“Finally, I think we can all agree Charlie’s our MVP for tonight. That homer turned the game around for us and was a thing of beauty. Remember; don’t let a run of bad luck get into your head. Even when we’re down on the board, we’re always one good play away from turning things around, so don’t give up until the game is called. I’d also like you all to think about how Charlie handled that homer. With a hit like that, I’m pretty sure he knew it was out of the park as soon as he connected, but he didn’t lollygag around home, watching it go. He put his head down and ran all out just like he would if it was a grounder to right field. You can never guess what’s going to happen, so we’ve got to treat every play like it’s going to be close. Great job, Charlie.”

There was a round of cheers and the guys nearest me slapped me on the back. Being a room full of adrenaline-high teenagers, it devolved quickly into roughhousing, which Coach let go on for a few minutes before he gave one of his ear-shattering whistles.

“All right, you all stink, so hit the showers and get out of here. We’ve got district playoffs next, so we’ll hit practice hard, tomorrow.”

I showered, grabbed my stuff, and headed outside where Hanna and Kat were waiting for me. Most of the team stopped me here or there as I was leaving to tell me good job, so it took a while, not that I minded. A handful of the guys, all of Harry’s friends avoided me, but I didn’t care.

I was having the time of my life.

Mr. French had said he was busy the first half of the week when I’d tried to go by and see him during lunch, but Friday during Choir he’d told me to stop and see him. I’d thought he was just going to see what I’d needed since I’d asked to see him first, or maybe ask about the festival, which is why I was surprised to see Rowan sitting on the edge of his desk when I walked in.

“Hey, I didn’t expect you to be here,” I said, shaking his hand.

“Yeah, man. I’d asked Kevin to hold off talking to you about your performance until I could join y’all, but I had a thing earlier this week so I couldn’t make it out until now.”

“Ohh, really?” I asked, trying and failing to come up with a reason he’d want to be here to see me about playing in the festival.

“Yeah. I was there when you played, actually, and wanted to give you some thoughts.”

“You were at the festival?”

“Yeah. I signed on to produce House of Grace’s new album and I wanted to hear them raw before they got into the studio. They’re headed to some west coast shows after this and a TV thing, so this was the only chance to hear them without having to get on a plane, which I hate doing.”

“Ohh. I actually bumped into Linda Chapman as we were coming off stage. She was really nice.”

“Yep. She’s one of the good ones. I found an out-of-the-way place to listen, since I sometimes get a bum’s rush if people recognize me, especially new, unsigned guys. Easier to avoid it than have to tell them no.”

I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt over that. This was his second trip down to talk to me, and I hadn’t put in the time like those guys down in Myrtle Beach or any of the guys in my band. Between Mr. French, Willie and Chef I was getting opportunities that absolutely no one else my age would get. Of course, I wasn’t an idiot. I wasn’t going to turn it down, even though it was unfair to others. I just needed to remember that I didn’t have to start from zero.

“We’ve made some changes to the songs you heard before. What did you think?”

“Overall, I like it. Everything is more dynamic than what you were doing before, not just in its individual range, but it’s a lot fuller too. I do think you’re going a little heavy on the keyboard sometimes. Everyone’s going to want a part, but you have to be careful not to let someone push too hard to get a bigger profile.”

“I didn’t think I was doing that. I was trying to keep it from sounding too one-dimensional like when I first started working on my own stuff. I do lean on the others because I don’t have a good grasp on how to integrate the other stuff yet, which goes double for the keyboard. I think I’m kinda okay with what to do with the base, but I do ask for a lot of input from the other two.”

“That’s natural and it definitely sounds more complete than what I heard before. The thing you have to remember is that you are a mixed rock/pop band at the end of the day and this isn’t the eighties anymore. Keys are all well and good, but unless you want to sound like a throwback to late disco and early hair metal, you shouldn’t have the keys carrying the melody. I know that’s easier to do, just transpose the melody over to the keys, maybe play with harmonies a bit, but it’s not doing you any favors. You need to think of using it intermittently, bringing in harmonies and fading, coming in with a counter melody, things like that. Your guy isn’t going to like it, but unless you’re looking for a specific synth sound, he’s going to get the least play.”

“Okay,” I said, trying to think through what it would sound like if I made did it like he said, and was struggling to come up with an idea. “I’m still not clear though. I mean, I get that it should be used to accentuate what the melodies are doing instead of just copying it. I get that. But I’m not sure what the best way to do that is.”

“Kevin, do you have a guitar here?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Mr. French said, going and getting an acoustic guitar he had in his office.

When he came out, Rowan nodded his head at me, indicating Mr. French should hand it over to me.

“Do Hush like you have it now. I’ll join in to try and give you an idea of one of the options. I’m not saying this is the way to go and if you do get in a studio, your producer will probably have their own ideas, as will your keyboard player, but hopefully, this gives you some ideas.”

“Okay,” I said, and started playing.

Normally Marco would come in right as I started playing after a short lead-in by drums. Instead, Rowan held off as I played, all the way through the first verse. When I hit the chorus, he started playing the piano, but he wasn’t doing the chorus’s melody. He was actually doing an almost chopped-up version of the first verse. In Hush, the chorus was broken into three equal-length short parts. As I started singing the first part, he played the first few bars of the first verse, but a little slower and down a half octave. When I went into the second part of the chorus he did the same thing, but moving to the next section of lyrics from the first verse, again slowed and down half an octave. I wasn’t surprised when he did the same thing, using a section near the end of the first verse, for the last part of the Chorus.

As we reached the end of the chorus, he held up a hand for me to stop playing.

“That’s not really well timed out and I don’t think I have the speed variation right, but you see what I’m doing. I’m using the piano part to carry on the through-line theme you have in the first verse into the chorus. I liked how the chorus changed over to an amped-up version of the nursery rhyme, but you lost the musical theme you set up in the first verse. I know you pick up the theme in verse two, but you see how you can use the keyboard part for keeping that theme alive while you play with the nursery rhyme. If you got the octave change and speed various down, maybe play with how you fade it out, it will really help. People might not even notice it’s happening, which is why your keyboard player won’t like it, but the audience will feel the carry through and will come out of it thinking the song has a more complete packaged sound, instead of just a melody with words, which they could hear from any busker on a street corner.”

“I’ve heard some pretty good buskers,” I said, and I had.

Dad would sometimes do that kind of work when he couldn’t get work with a house band, which always made me a little sensitive to how people treated buskers.

“Ohh, me too. The thing is, a busker is usually one person, so what you get is a straight melody and lyrics. When someone hears a fully produced band, they’re looking for more than that. They’re looking for the package. That’s what you’ve got to give them.”

I thought about it a bit and it did make sense when I looked at it from that angle. I still thought buskers got treated poorly and there were some really talented guys out there, but he was right.

“Okay, that makes sense, but I’m not sure how to go about doing that. I mean, yeah, in this case, I get it. Once you point it out, it’s super obvious that having the keyboard part just track the harmony isn’t the way to go, but I can’t imagine I would have come up with something that you just did on the fly like that.”

“Well, one, I didn’t do it on the fly. I heard the current version of your song almost a week ago and it’s been kicking around my brain. I just didn’t say that, so it looks like a magic trick instead of the hard work that songwriting actually is. I know you’ve got a lot of song ideas and you want to get going when inspiration strikes you, but some of those times you’re thinking about new songs, you should also spend thinking about how to make your current songs radio-ready. I know that’s easier to say than to do, but a lot of this you’ll figure out with a producer, especially when you’re first starting out. As you get experience in the industry and write more, you’ll be able to figure a lot of this out on your own. So don’t feel like you have to rush it and get it all right the first time out of the gate.”

“That makes sense and I’ll keep working on it like you said, but I can’t help but be worried, since we have that audition coming up. I keep hearing how hard it is to get someone from a studio to hear you, not even counting doing it at my age, so I’m worried we might blow this shot and not get another one.”

“I hear you and all I can say is, work as hard as you can and get as ready as you can. None of your songs are going to be perfect, and that’s okay. I think the guy who’s coming out to hear you is a new talent scout, meaning he only listens to guys who haven’t had anything break yet. Trust me; no one he’s listened to is radio-ready from the jump. He knows that and he’s trained his ear to hear the stuff that can be made ready by a producer from the stuff that needs time to get there. I’m not him, but I can tell you your stuff is in the first group. You’ve got the instincts and you’ve got the skill with your instrument. You just need a little help getting it packaged and that’s what the studio can do for you.”

“So just do my best and it’ll all work out?” I asked skeptically.

“Yeah, I know that’s easy for me to say, but it’s all I’ve got for you.

“Just keep working at it, Charlie.”

I didn’t really have anything to say to that, since what other choice did I have?

Monday night after practice I ended up at Hanna’s house for dinner, as was usually about half the week. I’d stayed away the week Kat was mad at me, but she’d backed off being angry at me after her first session with Dr. Rothstein. He’d gone a step beyond not dating me until she managed to find healthy ways of dealing with her condition, telling her she shouldn’t date anyone. She explained his reasoning to me, and it made sense.

First, he told her that the reason she was so pressed to start dating again was because of her relationship with her father. She’d had such a warped example of love and affection for so long, being taught by him that the only way she could show it was through physical acts, that she had internalized it. She needed to work on the underlying conditions and understand the difference between love and desire, and what was and was not a healthy thing for a partner to expect. She didn’t really buy into this, although it made sense to me, given all of her attempts to ‘date’ me had involved trying to initiate some kind of physical act.

The second one she did buy into. He was worried that if she started dating, she would use that as a method to cope with her trauma and anxiety rather than finding tools she could use that were independent of anyone else. That had been more or less what he’d talked to me about, and she’d seemed to accept it as a reason why she couldn’t date me.

She’d made it clear that the statement had a ‘yet’ tagged on to the end, but at least she’d seemed to accept not making passes at me anymore, which I was fine with. Both Hanna and I had started working on getting her to assert herself with others, starting with people we knew like the lunch group and people like Marcus and David. We’d had mixed results so far and she’d ended up needing the anxiety meds a few times, but it was a start at least.

All in all, things were busy but seemed to be getting better. I hadn’t had any run-ins with Aaron or Harry since before spring break, although we had the district playoff game at the end of the week. I was just two weeks away from the juniors’ martial arts competition and the audition, and school was almost up. I didn’t feel ready at all for the martial arts thing, but I also hadn’t really put a lot of expectations on it either. I still really enjoyed learning from Chef, but I’d only agreed to do the competition because it seemed important to him. It’d be cool if I could win something, of course, but this wasn’t going to be anything but a lifetime hobby, the same way Victor treated it. He loved training and helping teach others, but he wasn’t trying to make this his career.

The audition was another story entirely. I did want to have music be my thing in the worst way, and it was taking everything I had to keep from freaking out about it. The only thing that was keeping me focused was the volume of work we still needed to do on our songs. Even after talking to Rowan, none of them felt ready.

“We got something in the mail from UNC this morning,” Mrs. Phillips said.

I’d been around them long enough that I picked up on the warning signals, and I know Hanna did too, because she shot me a ‘what did I do’ look. Her mom missed it, because she was doing the thing where she asked you a question or said something and she didn’t need to see you because she already knew the answer to whatever she was going to ask.

“What was it?” Hanna asked.

“Did you change your major?”

“Umm, not exactly. I’m still in the business program, but I switched from just generic business to business management with a talent management concentration. Most of the classes are the same and it’s still a bachelor’s of business.”

“What happened on the marketing degree you’d been looking at?”

“I looked at it and the other option and I think this will be something I enjoy more. Marketing is always just an add-on thing. I’ll always be just working for some agency selling beer and cars. It’s just a job. With talent management, I’d get to work with artists or athletes, and have an actual impact on their careers. I’ll get to see something tangible from my efforts and I’ll be part of a team.”

“So, you’re telling me this doesn’t have anything to do with Charlie.”

“I’m not saying that either,” Hanna said, knowing that if she just lied, her mom would catch her and it’d make it harder for her to sell her on the idea. “I do want to work with Charlie, because I believe in him. Do you know that Linda Chapman stopped to talk to him at the festival like they were equals or something? And one of the guys that keep coming to town to help him learn how to write better songs is producing her next album. Even without the talent scout, those are big names that look at him and see a rising star. I have the chance to get in early, help him reach his dreams, and be part of his team.”

“You know how I feel about this. If this is what you want, fine, but don’t do it by riding on someone’s coattails. What happens if you two have a falling out or if things don’t go like the pair of you are hoping? You would have only worked with one person and find yourself without the knowledge of how to get something new. Starting at the bottom and a large organization is good, because it teaches you how to make your own way. You get to learn the basics with a safety net. And you do it on your own.”

“Mrs. Philips, I …”

“Stay out of this, Charlie,” she said, aggressively pointing in my direction.

“I know you believe that after Dad, you had to start everything over, and you don’t want me to rely on anyone else,” Hanna said. “I get it and I appreciate that, but this is how I want to do this. Will I end up having the same struggles as you? Maybe, but they’ll be my struggles, at least.”

Mrs. Phillip’s face darkened at the mention of her husband. I think Hanna knew the instant she stopped talking she’d made the wrong move.

“Charlie, I think it’s best if you leave.”

“Yes, ma’am. I’m sorry,” I said, not sure what I was apologizing for, but feeling somehow responsible for what was happening.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Hanna said. “She’s just not happy I’m not willing to let her decide my life for me.”

Hanna’s shifted from diplomatic Hanna that I saw most days to aggressive Hanna that came out when she was getting angry. Her mom heard it too and looked even more pissed.

“Katherine, I know we haven’t finished dinner, but you might want to go upstairs for a little bit. I’ll come get you when it’s clear to have dinner in peace. Charlie, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t come by the house for a time.”

“Wait, you can’t tell my friends …” Hanna started, but I interrupted her before she managed to get me permanently banned from her house.

“It’s okay, Hanna. I guess I’ll see you around school. I’m sorry again for any problems I’ve caused,” I said, grabbing my backpack and leaving.

I could hear them yelling moments after I left.