A Little Bit (More) of Tina.

I've always loved the hell out of the Tina Small mythology. I think that's the right word for it -- mythology. Not that she's some deified ideal who never existed, a huge-boob demi-God who teaches us morals. But if you think about it, every single one of us will ultimately become a myth, in our own ways. But that's a conversation for another time.

For those of you unaware, I wrote about Tina years ago (Jesus Christ, back in '19, before the Boom-Boom Days). Here's a link. https://www.patreon.com/posts/26430298/

But the tldr; is that she was this busty British icon back in the '80s. Did a couple of super-low-budget flicks, a nice stash of photoshoots, and some clever eroticists filled in the blanks with some good old-fashioned storytelling.

The divide between the folks who think that she was a phony, and the folks who think she was genuine, is a pretty wide chasm. Most people I've queried on the topic tend to fall close to one side or the other. Which I get. It was a golden age of flirty soft-core stuff.

Anyway, rabbit holes are fun, and I've always had a flair for investigative journalism, so over the years, I've done some pretty extensive research of my own. (In that time, I have assembled what I might consider to be one of the world's more complete Tina Small Collections, because I'm weird like that, and kindred spirits, birds-of-a-feather, blah. blah.)

I have information that I will share here, insomuch as is appropriate. In traditional print journalism, one of the core rules is to substantiate any information, as it is given to you, from two reliable sources. You can see if two people, who are reliable, say the same thing. Then, and only then, is it reportable. In this case, I only have one reliable source, whose identity I will not share at their request. While I assure you that I am quite convinced of the authenticity of my following statements, please consider these statements to be fiduciarily incomplete.

"Tina Small" was a persona adopted by a real person who experienced the whole kit-and-kaboodle of macromastia. '70s/80s, in Britain. Pretty normal gal. Her story was largely embellished for the purposes for print, and for a while, she had a grand time showing herself off. But before too long, she parted ways with the folks she was working with (nothing weird, the lifestyle just wasn't a fit for her), and those folks decided to continue with this character of "Tina Small." They recruited a model who looked somewhat similar to the original "Tina," spent what I can only assume was a boatload of cash on prosthetics, and created a whole bunch of sets of pics. Some movies, there are a few audio files out there, I think some photo singles, etc. etc. The legend continued, for a couple more years, at least.

And then, the whole legend kinda got sealed in amber. And so it goes. Certain things survive, in basements, attics, in sock drawers.

I've taken the liberty of attaching three files here.

1.) Every Inch a Lady - "Black Cover." This one is pretty easy to track down on the internet if you get a little clever with the search.

2.) Every Inch a Lady - "Dreamy Edition." I must very sincerely thank a fan (you know who you are) for taking the time to send this along my way, all the way back when. I must confess that, unfortunately, the physical copy you were so kind to send along to me was irretrievably lost during my moving from Spain back to Mexico. Its loss made me quite sad. But the sentiment and appreciation I experienced upon its receipt lives on in my heart. AND, for some perverse reason, and because I knew I (momentarily) possessed something that (and I've looked!) I can't find anywhere online, I decided to photograph the whole damned thing for posterity (and, for a purpose very similar to this exact one!). [[[I am not a good photographer. The images you will see in this PDF were taken while the magazine was under some glass I borrowed from a picture on the way, with imperfect lighting from a nearby window. File Under: Better Than Nothing.]]] I must confess that I am deeply thrilled that I took the time to snap these pics, because it's a delightful relic, and I get to share it with all of you. I hope you enjoy it.

3.) "Big Girls Don't Cry." This is a memoir of sorts. I don't know how much of it is true or not, but it reads well, and for reasons that are probably pretty obvious, it resonated with me. If it was not written by "Tina" herself, I can only say that I extend massive props to the folks who did write it. It reads well, and there were a lot of things that resonated with me. (Especially with regard to my own memoir... It's interesting how there are 1,000 different languages that can express the same 10 things that routinely happen when you wander through this world with enormous tits, and this story did a good job of touching upon, well, most of 'em. Whatever the case! I can only express my massive thanks to the person who (probably) used early Optical Character Recognition software to convert this to electronic. Or maybe they just typed it all out themselves! In either case, carry on, good hero. May angels guide thee.

4.) Do let me know if you have a similar borderline-obsessive interest in "Tina lore." I've got some peculiarities stashed in the archives of the ones and the zeroes.

I hope you all are well.

(Looks... like you've got some whistles to whet! (No spoilers from my own end... but if you're a fan of the anachronistic, you might be in for a surprise or two.)

(Ed. Note: I hope you don't mind my re-hashing a few of the more ancient pics of myself, back on IG. I'm about 90% restored from the appendix thing, so bear with me. [my heart is still there in the casket with Caeser, and I must pause till it come back to me]. Looking forward to showing new stuff, and, well, rest assured -- even I am surprised by how much bigger I've gotten since those old pics were taken. Tell me about those fukkin' rabbits, George...