heatherbeck

Re-Inventing the Bra

Added 2019-09-14 14:57:52 +0000 UTC

So, one of my faithful patrons (you know who you are) got in touch a little while back with an idea. He's got some serious engineering skills, and after one of my recent bra-related kvech-fests, he threw it out there, blueprints included!

See, as I've said before (in super-short), the physics of traditional bras — straps, bands, underwires — break down once you're solidly out of the D range. And in my case... yeah. I fall way out of that category.

But his notion seemed downright revolutionary. And dear lord... maybe like something I could even wear for a whole day without wanting to flip my shit. Here's are the high points.

This bad boy is primed to be the workhorse of the bra world. Full coverage, molded plastic cup bottoms, a rigid, rib-hugging wide band that goes underneath my breasts and wraps around to actually provide support via a reinforced, solid-paneled back, THICK straps, zero-to-60 in 3.5 seconds, and all customized to my lopsided, bigger on the right-side boobs. All carefully calibrated and balanced.

I'm not the most mathematically minded person in the world, but this benefactor implies that some carefully documented measurements will be enough to get the job done. (Reflected metrically, because science!)

So, we shall see. Certainly not a process one wants to rush, and I'm sure there's going to be some trial and error along the way. And that's cool. Because if successful, I know one fella who's going to have a couple of patents to file to the benefit of all the gigantomastic women of the world. I'm more than happy to be the guinea pig on that front.