Cases Please!
Added 2025-08-11 18:42:43 +0000 UTCGreetings! Bailiff Jake here, to let you know the Supreme Crit is convening shortly. Please submit your brief (I do beg) grievance and or table drama on this thread and we will bring you sweet justice!
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Good morning Justices and a moderately respectful nod to the bailiff, Juipst. May it please the court, I present my case of a new-ish player versus a non helpful DM. My Paladin was brutally disintegrated by a Beholder. I was pretty sad. Life goes on. I had a decided on a tabaxi monk for a new character, as I had overheard a conversation at the table that they get a lot of movement speed. Let me clarify, this is my first campaign ever and have almost no player experience aside from Paladin. I listened to part ofCritical Role campaign 2 but that's my only exposure.I just wanted to play something that didn't rely on spell slots for damage or utility. Here's the circumstance in question. My monk was on the upper deck of a zombie pirate ship. A zombie mage had cast wall of ice on the lower deck of the ship. I thought to myself, what a cool anime moment it would be to sort of alley-oop myself and vault over the wall of ice back into the fray. My DM did not give me any logistical help here with my first combat as a monk. He rolled full damage to my character for *touching* the ice wall as I try to vault it. He did however give me a dex save, which I failed. It was a high level spell and my little tabaxi monk went down that turn. Judges, do you think my DM was a little harsh? I understand I could have argued, "step of the wind" to increase jump distance. Or attempted to completely jump over the wall of ice. Or even just move around the wall. I just wish I was as experienced as the rest of my table at that point and knew I had other options. Especially considering how mobile monks can be on the battlefield. It's been like 6 years since this moment and still it gives me a bit of agita when I think about it. Thank you, benevolent council of Justices, and Juipst for it's contributions. I eagerly await a verdict, as I would like to close this cold case by the end of the year.
William Gallagher
2025-08-21 15:57:57 +0000 UTCjust a heads up-- they record within 1 day of posting these, so i recommend having it in your notes app ready to go and submitting within a few hours of them posting to have a good chance of them selecting your case
Shell Beach Kennas 1st fav tort- sorry, got lost in the tank Shel B Kennas 1st fav sprite girl! says Spudfuckers crop tops WHEN
2025-08-15 16:51:50 +0000 UTCToday I supplicate myself before the most revered case reviewers, the ever reputable & regularly irrefutable justices of the supreme crit - Axford, Murphy, and Tanner - and the least baleful but most playful bailiff there ever was - Jake - to spin my woeful tale of “The Little Rope of Climbing That Could (Have Lifted Me Out of a Sticky Situation).” The weekend before last, my party engaged a sticky foe in the depths of a cave system leading us into the abyss. We had been investigating an abyssal disease that had wiped out the majority of a nearby myconid hive when we stumbled across a creature who quickly impersonated an NPC important to one of our party member’s backstory. Upon further inspection, the facade collapsed and we found ourselves facing an intelligent and extremely deceptive slime creature. The DM gave this mini-boss a plethora of frightening abilities from an amalgamation of other deadly creatures across published source materials, including a psychic attack which consumed important memories if we failed a wisdom save. However, the specific ability leading me to make this inquiry was something much, much more detrimental… Based on a lair action of the juiblex, the creature spewed a fetid pool of slime in a 10-foot cube which had the unfortunate power to trap players (me) within it until they (me) were able to pass a DC 21 strength save. Now, my monk (named Ela, rhymes with Kayla) really likes to hit things with his quarterstaff, and being stuck to the ground made that really hard to do. Fair enough, the DM (my lovely partner and tormentor of monks) designed a good monster and challenge for our party. Here’s where the sticky gets tricky. Ela has a rope of climbing, which has come in handy many a time in our adventure thus far. Knowing that with my -1 to strength I would NEED to crit to escape the slime, I pulled out my trusty rope with the hope that I wouldn’t have to mope and simply cope until one of my party members was free to assist me and that I could instead nope out of there myself using some quick thinking. The rope of climbing responds to verbal commands, can move 10 feet per action, tie and knot itself where directed, and move the other end as a bonus action. I argued that if I used my action to tie the rope of climbing to the stalagtite not far above me, and used my bonus action to command the other end that I tied around my waist to raise me, I should be able to be lifted out of the slime without making the saving throw AT THE COST OF my action and bonus action for the round. My DM (who is shaking her head at me in disappointment as I write this) rejected my proposal and told me I would still need to pass the saving throw in order to have the rope lift me from the slime. I argued that a magical rope capable of lifting up to 3000 pounds should be capable of bypassing a strength check of 21 to carry my sticky monk to safety. My usually-wise-but-in-this-case-wrong DM rejected my line of reasoning and urged me to stop arguing, make the roll, and finish my turn (the other two party members, my best friends, looked about ready to throttle me for extended and hopeless negotiation with the DM). I sighed, rolled my 18-turned-17 strength save, and lost another turn down in the muck with my little rope that couldn’t. I beseech you, wisest, fairest, and most-talented-at-guessing-when-did-things-come-out justices, please review my case and let me know: did I place too much faith in my rope of climbing and should I be sentenced to death by DIY slime? Or is my DM wrong for the first time in her life? I await your sentence with eagerness, and prepare myself for the possibility of either punishment or vindication.
Greyson Henry
2025-08-15 08:08:55 +0000 UTCI think this is too late this week (not sure though) which is so annoying but pleasepleaseplease resubmit i want to hear this argued over!!
katie potato
2025-08-14 14:18:11 +0000 UTCYour honors: the Indisputable Justices, Emily, Murph, and Caldwell, and the humble Jailiff Bake… I present to you, “A Matter of Semantics.“ I am a bilingual player (English and American Sign Language). In a recent campaign, I gave my PC common sign language as one of their language abilities. My party and I we’re attempting to enter a fortress surrounded by a moat. Its one front entrance was at the end of a bridge guarded by armed trolls. The trolls did not speak common, so I attempted, using my common sign language skills, to negotiate with them in basic gestures. My DM argued that the troll wouldn’t know common sign language, and another player (as if I did not know -_- ) argued that sign language is more than basic gestures. My argument was that people who are skilled in visual forms of communication are more practiced and effective at bridging language gaps using shared gestures, expression, and body language. I would also argue that “common sign language “is a fantasy language that exists only in the world of DND, so my fellow players point about what is and isn’t American Sign Language language is irrelevant and kinda pedantic. In fact it’s worth noting that I intentionally did not use American Sign Language because none of my fellow players speak it and, OF COURSE trolls wouldn’t know ASL. My attempts to communicate with the trolls went unanswered and all that was left was to enter into combat. I haven’t bothered to use signed language skills in game since. Justices, I ask you, was I robbed of a role-play and persuasion opportunity? I humbly await your decision. Signed, The Beleaguered Bilingual
TheGlassBook
2025-08-14 12:40:38 +0000 UTCDice Christ, I throw myself at your altar seeking forgiveness for underestimating the strength of the deck of many things. I had used heavily homebrewed version of the deck to remove as many kill effects as possible and had replaced many of those effects with narrative penalties such as going blind or reversing a characters age by a decade. I thought this would give my players inspiration to help them better discover their characters stories and personalites. While in a few cases it has worked as intended, one of my party members still found a way to get killed. They pulled a card that had a trial effect where the player would admit to a crime and the rest of the party determined if they were guilty. My PC admitted to being a serial arsonist (a back story we had just worked on and I had planned to reveal in the finale) and the party chose death. While my player who lost their character enjoyed the outcome and the story is more juiced than ever, I can't help but feel I manipulated my player to their doom. I hadn't ever made the connection that working on a murder hobo back story and having the chance of a party judgement in the same week would go sideways before it was too late. Dice Christ can you find forgiveness for this lowly soul
Bb Woggle
2025-08-11 22:46:47 +0000 UTCTo the 2/10 Justices and the 10/10 Bailiff: I’ve started playing in a new campaign with some friends, all having played before but never together. During a trip in town, I followed an NPC into a bathhouse to sneakily get some info from a clandestine meeting taking place. When I was required to strip down, as per the bathhouse rules, my DM made me roll a D12 for “length” check on my character’s manhood. I figured it was a joke and played along, rolling a 1 to everyone’s amusement. I thought it would be a quick laugh and nothing more but the rest of the table would not let it go for the rest of the day and brought it back up the next session constantly. To make it worse, my girlfriend is also playing and is one of the biggest contributors, telling everyone my character is a perfect match of me in every way. Justices, am I being a little baby by wanting these jokes to stop or should I just own the baby dick title and roll with it? My tiny manhood awaits your judgement.
Josh
2025-08-11 22:42:08 +0000 UTC
