Mixed Bag of Holding: America's Next Top Minion
Added 2025-02-28 20:34:41 +0000 UTCWelcome to the show critics are calling "a product that is currently available!" Using Caldwell's Instant Minion system, Murph, Emily and Jake create low-level monsters who must compete in a series of challenges for the honor of becoming The Dark Lord's Number One Grunt.
To try out Caldwell's system, use below image! (PDF attached below).
CREDITS
Editing and Sound Design by Caldwell Tanner
"Ol Guppy" by Emily Axford
Comments
all time favorite mixed bag
deranged pigeon
2025-10-08 12:18:58 +0000 UTCMy brain is so poisoned I put off listening to this episode because I thought it was about generating OC minions from despicable me
AJ C
2025-09-03 04:27:21 +0000 UTCnot a single unremarkable line delivery in this thing
sam s.
2025-08-10 02:36:50 +0000 UTCI rolled two, to start... J'Miah, a tattoo-covered bullywug. HP - 25, AC - 13. +1 int, - 1 str, with a fire bolt cantrip. +1 to hit/damage. Shelly the Skelly, so hot (literally) she glows. Also got firebolt, so I imagine her bones as orange like burning logs... but bones. HP - 25, AC - 15. +3 int, - 2 cha. +3 to hit, +2 damage. I think being a skeleton is punishment for her life as a mean girl, represented by her bad cha and sick burns (firebolt).
J. Gro
2025-04-24 20:31:12 +0000 UTCSleep-deprived Caldwell Tanner = unemployed Ben Wyatt from Parks and Rec!! Side note: there is no traffic cone emoji to represent the Cones of Dunshire. Tragic.
J. Gro
2025-04-24 18:44:15 +0000 UTCMy best friend and I are playing Baldurs Gate 3 and they made a Circle of Spores Druid with red skin and vitiligo and a poofy hairstyle. He’s just a cute lil guy who has twenty pairs of glasses okay, raising other lil mushroom zombie guys to also be cute lil guys in glasses…
JuicyKiwi
2025-03-19 04:22:51 +0000 UTCThis is one of the most unhinged things I’ve listened to omg. Glorious.
Nic Q
2025-03-12 07:45:03 +0000 UTCClassic shenanigans that immediately make Murph mad are always my favorite 🤣
Sarah Sullivan
2025-03-12 01:53:40 +0000 UTCSo unhinged and so so funny. Love you guys
Casey Fisher
2025-03-10 00:49:38 +0000 UTCThe wild, and humorous, uses of my last name had me blushing 😂 (It's Gob lmao)
Tyler Gob
2025-03-09 20:09:15 +0000 UTCThis was unhinged and amazing.
Mr. Serpentarius
2025-03-07 16:08:57 +0000 UTCPlaying this system tonight and I'm so pumped
Vincent W
2025-03-07 11:04:18 +0000 UTCSmallbee is my spirit monster and I will insert him into all of my games forever lol
James Andrade
2025-03-07 01:16:20 +0000 UTCTeresa Lisbon from the mentalist is pissed off
Grass
2025-03-06 22:02:58 +0000 UTCQueue Powerwolf's Resurrection by Erection for the bullywug legend Clark from Lisben hahaha
Slappy Dave
2025-03-06 20:40:28 +0000 UTCAnd here I sit refreshing Patreon looking at the previous post wishing it were new, like opening a fridge hoping something had spawned in from the previous time you looked…
Ryan
2025-03-06 13:20:46 +0000 UTCDes Moines mention, but at what cost ✊️😩
Julia Comer
2025-03-06 13:06:32 +0000 UTCWas cryyy laughing for the last 20 minutes. Is anyone going to Des Moines killed me
Natalie Hales
2025-03-06 13:01:06 +0000 UTCCLARK IS GOB
Natalie Hales
2025-03-06 12:57:48 +0000 UTCOmg halfway through I was absolutely dying, Jesus Christ I can finally breathe
Robert Zorzi
2025-03-06 06:47:42 +0000 UTCCaldwell is an absolute adorable dingus and I wish he was my older brother. I love your sense of humor dude
Victoria Shotts
2025-03-05 18:44:19 +0000 UTCSo excited to use this sheet in my personal campaign!
KingHalt
2025-03-05 17:19:58 +0000 UTCD&Deople, best name for a Pawn Shop in Waterdeep: Best I Can Do or Pawn Hub?
October Jones
2025-03-05 05:28:21 +0000 UTCThis patreon is far and away the single greatest source of streaming content. I cannot express this enough. Love everything you all post. Gob is good.
Scrumbleton Brumbleton
2025-03-05 00:59:14 +0000 UTCA royal rumble filled solely with minions made with this system would be beautiful
Nick Neverman
2025-03-04 23:41:32 +0000 UTCIf there is no t-shirt saying "GOB IS GOOD" in the merch store, I'm calling my paralegal pawsum !
Z Slice
2025-03-04 23:40:54 +0000 UTCI’ve been lobbying for a Murph-run History of WWE ep and it sounds like now is the time to
Tony Cappellino
2025-03-04 19:20:33 +0000 UTCHearing the venom and bile of an angry Murph in his lil guy voice was incredible, no notes lmao
James Cherenzia
2025-03-04 16:30:56 +0000 UTCAnother classic Murph crashout.
Miranda the Dungeon Court Stenographer
2025-03-04 16:30:12 +0000 UTCDid we just learn how Jake proposed? 🤣 38 mins in
Pali Endi
2025-03-04 13:31:47 +0000 UTCWhat an absolute shitshow. I loved it.
Ryan Maitland-Ward
2025-03-04 10:15:04 +0000 UTCThis is so funny😂. Incredible idea Caldwell, incredible execution everyone
BomVenusaur
2025-03-04 04:07:11 +0000 UTCMurph being pissed as a tiny guy is so funny. I’m gonna need all Murph salt to come in this form from now on
Cooper Mccrory
2025-03-04 01:13:21 +0000 UTCMurph’s lil guy voice makes me so gleeful.
Ellie P
2025-03-03 15:15:19 +0000 UTCAn excellent point! I’m not convinced all of them are at fault lol
Huascar Holguin
2025-03-03 14:06:14 +0000 UTC👏👏👏
Franny McCabe-Bennett
2025-03-03 13:41:30 +0000 UTCWhat's with the Emily hate??
Franny McCabe-Bennett
2025-03-03 13:40:45 +0000 UTCThis was so fun!!! It has to get a reboot on a different network! I could listen to a million episodes
Franny McCabe-Bennett
2025-03-03 13:39:11 +0000 UTCI'd love to hear more of these
John Hartigan
2025-03-03 13:32:12 +0000 UTC"Is anyone going back to Des Moines" is the greatest line I've heard in a while
Alexander Lawhorne
2025-03-03 04:55:48 +0000 UTCi NEED to know how murph feels about the John Cena Heel turn
Theo Englund
2025-03-03 04:16:36 +0000 UTCThey say it’s about a week recovery for me, give or take so I’m gonna be making naddpod friendship bracelets and watching a lottt of trash shows
Shel B Kennas 1st fav sprite girl! No jokes today, just excited Emily's gonna be on Gastronauts!!
2025-03-03 03:52:39 +0000 UTCAmen friend! Worth all the slight discomfort. Truly only one day of 'meh' and milking it
Declan Konesky
2025-03-03 03:40:38 +0000 UTCLess intense than kids, worth it!!
Shel B Kennas 1st fav sprite girl! No jokes today, just excited Emily's gonna be on Gastronauts!!
2025-03-03 03:27:26 +0000 UTCThat sounds much more intense than my procedure! But congrats!
Declan Konesky
2025-03-02 23:43:05 +0000 UTCReally it needs a full episode history lesson to make them all understand the significance
Kevin Stefanowicz
2025-03-02 22:41:14 +0000 UTCUntil they gave themselves names I thought the same
Shel B Kennas 1st fav sprite girl! No jokes today, just excited Emily's gonna be on Gastronauts!!
2025-03-02 21:47:01 +0000 UTCGrats on the no kid future! Getting my tubes removed at the end of the month!
Shel B Kennas 1st fav sprite girl! No jokes today, just excited Emily's gonna be on Gastronauts!!
2025-03-02 21:45:35 +0000 UTCGreat job Caldwell, such a fun table to roll on!
Brittany Flamond
2025-03-02 21:29:57 +0000 UTC(playfully) I counter that Murph tried to steal Clark’s tied up halfling. That pretty much ignited the PvP. D&D court episode ran by Lou, Zach, Iffy, and Ally judging this case would be amazing.
Adam Sutton
2025-03-02 20:44:40 +0000 UTCDamn, Murph was an EXTRA hater today 😅 poor Clark Lisbon
Adam Sutton
2025-03-02 20:41:18 +0000 UTCAccess to Mixed Bag is easily the best $10 i spend every month. Listening to Murph rage in his "lil guy" voice brings me joy that is truly priceless.
Jamie Matthews
2025-03-02 18:21:31 +0000 UTCI’m living for Smallby lmao
Nadia Brady
2025-03-02 17:45:22 +0000 UTC"Res-erection" best line of the ep.
Gustavius
2025-03-02 15:51:31 +0000 UTCTo be fair, he started it by taking Clark Lisbon’s halfling.
Bryan Salazar
2025-03-02 14:16:32 +0000 UTCGob is so good
jonathan Mann
2025-03-02 13:16:35 +0000 UTCLullabies from the Wild Side has become my background music for kcd 2 and it’s been so lovely
Leil Houndes
2025-03-02 11:24:19 +0000 UTCwhat the fuck was that... 😂
Cler Henley
2025-03-02 06:05:48 +0000 UTCSeems like they all had fun and it was funny
MAH DICK FELL OFF
2025-03-02 04:48:08 +0000 UTCMurph what are your opinions on John Cena turning heel and backing The Rock
Jeremy G
2025-03-02 04:32:54 +0000 UTCHoly shit right???
Justin Cockrell
2025-03-02 04:25:02 +0000 UTCI really need to hear Murph’s response to what just happened at Elimination Chamber
Justin Cockrell
2025-03-02 04:24:44 +0000 UTCWE NEED AN EMERGENCY MURPH TALK ON THE INSANE ENDING TO THE WWE ELIMINATION CHAMBER.
Brandon Wiens
2025-03-02 04:04:42 +0000 UTCHow dare you, Murph. We flip DVDs, not coins.
Patrick Sullivan
2025-03-02 03:56:43 +0000 UTCThis was so stupid. I loved it.
Balnor’s Best Friend - Steve
2025-03-02 02:22:48 +0000 UTCThis is one of the most ridiculous pieces of media they’ve made I laughed so hard 11/10
spiffygrooves
2025-03-02 00:18:45 +0000 UTCWhoa I didn’t say all that. Jake and Caldwell had equal if not more influence on how insane it got and if anything it would be Murph vs The Whole Table. No Emily slander here
Huascar Holguin
2025-03-02 00:09:20 +0000 UTCAgreed. The game was set up to be a competition and Emily kind of ruined it by 1) deciding to give herself disadvantage, 2) making her character stupid, and 3) initiating PVP. This could be a dungeon court case submitted by either the DM or the other players, and the judges would rule against Emily.
Michael Hollenbeck
2025-03-01 23:33:29 +0000 UTCI’m on Murph’s side on this one. It became a kangaroo court of nonsense towards the end. I wanted to see Caldwell’s events not just some weird PvP fight at the end
Huascar Holguin
2025-03-01 23:18:58 +0000 UTCsmalbe my wrathful king (murph rage in that voice was absolutely fantastic to hear)
Jack
2025-03-01 22:33:51 +0000 UTCNeed this to escape the mixed bag, we need more
pluckythechicken
2025-03-01 21:52:46 +0000 UTCThis has been the hardest I’ve laughed in a while. Justice for Clark Lisbon.
Logan Carpenter
2025-03-01 21:10:38 +0000 UTC#clarkgotdonedirty and he would’ve liked it that way
SlainSigny
2025-03-01 21:00:41 +0000 UTCDid anyone else think that this was going to involve minions from Despicable Me? 😬
Hthr
2025-03-01 18:30:33 +0000 UTCThis is art
Amanda M
2025-03-01 17:13:07 +0000 UTCEmily’s minion just has me picturing a goblin Sam Sulek lmao
Hostage4hire
2025-03-01 16:54:40 +0000 UTCThis was incredible, thank you Caldwell’s mania
Gotteswaise
2025-03-01 16:52:03 +0000 UTCSo many faction points were lost this day
Hammy
2025-03-01 16:48:52 +0000 UTCI immediately had to go and make a spreadsheet with formulas where you enter you rolls and flaw (and ability modifier to increase for Human), and it lists out the HP, AC, ability mods, damage roll, etc. to have easy minion generation! I might also write a script to generate "full" stat blocks based on the rolls.
Thomas Jager
2025-03-01 16:05:08 +0000 UTCMe too!
Zippidi Skibidi
2025-03-01 14:48:58 +0000 UTCSubmitting this episode in full to D&D court
Yuncle Vanya
2025-03-01 14:00:32 +0000 UTC#Justice4Smallby
Aaron Sterne
2025-03-01 13:28:01 +0000 UTCI’m a Talking Ape, on the brink of Financial ruin, AC14, 15HP, Extra attack with +2 to STR, -2 to CHA. Meet Kevin Damply 🫠
Transfemmes4murph
2025-03-01 13:20:48 +0000 UTCI’m an Imp who is clearly on the verge of financial ruin, 12HP, 15 AC, +4 STR, -1 WIS, +1 Damage mod. I can turn invisible once per day, presumably to escape my creditors.
Ally
2025-03-01 11:15:45 +0000 UTCJesus Murph you need new friends 😂
Mich Blackie
2025-03-01 10:48:48 +0000 UTCGlad to see the return of some good old fashioned murph rage
Matt Hartt
2025-03-01 08:21:44 +0000 UTCThis is why we subscribe to the mixed bag tier.
wick
2025-03-01 08:16:19 +0000 UTCSmallby resigning to getting trolled by Emily was so hilarious
wick
2025-03-01 08:04:18 +0000 UTCI’m a Smalby Stan 4 life fr
The Grinch (feral)
2025-03-01 06:50:41 +0000 UTC"Gob is good" 🤣 I swear if there ever comes a time someone isn't stanning Emily Axford, it's because I (and Brian Murphy) have been slaim!
Martian
2025-03-01 06:28:04 +0000 UTCGob is good to me today
Matt Atkinson
2025-03-01 05:55:10 +0000 UTCSHUT UPPPPP I love mixed bag tier thank u angels
Jenna
2025-03-01 04:35:32 +0000 UTCI am a robot dressed in leather daddy attire, with 29 hit points, 16 AC, +3 STR, and -1 CON, +1 Damage Modifier. I also crit on 19 and 20.
Zanna
2025-03-01 02:57:44 +0000 UTCGob is good truly
Milton Villegas
2025-03-01 02:43:17 +0000 UTCI await the dark commands of our lord Small-B
Neil Dutton
2025-03-01 02:28:46 +0000 UTCThis was absolutely stupid and perfect and I loved it. Truly wild energy from everyone!
Lori Anderson
2025-03-01 02:09:57 +0000 UTCcrying laughing
Claudia
2025-03-01 02:00:28 +0000 UTCoh, well, this is absolutely thrilling. I know what I'll be working on my Mardi Gras costume to.
A Gunn, Banjo Boy of the Flatlands with two working kidneys
2025-03-01 01:47:45 +0000 UTCIt took me 4 minutes and 21 seconds to realize this wasn’t about Illumination Entertainment’s hit movie Minions
Erin Gardiner
2025-03-01 01:18:25 +0000 UTCWould die for Smallby
SeminoleDVM
2025-03-01 01:01:29 +0000 UTCYou'd think after all these years I would have learned not to listen to these episodes whenever I'm trying to eat something, I almost choked on my Coffee when Smallby tried to steal the Halfling from Clark. I simultaneously loved and hated everyone of these characters, absolutely perfect
ksm11
2025-03-01 00:47:57 +0000 UTCJOHN ELWAY!
Adam Sutton
2025-03-01 00:18:28 +0000 UTC,
Acteron
2025-03-01 00:17:45 +0000 UTCBy far the hardest I’ve laughed in a long time
Matthew Bibb
2025-03-01 00:02:27 +0000 UTCNeed more of these little freaks... maybe they can become canon Trinyvale characters for another mixed bag oneshot?
Evan Schmidt
2025-02-28 23:45:08 +0000 UTCI know my brain is broken because it wasn't until I was like 3 minutes in that I realized that they didn't mean the yellow minions
anna
2025-02-28 23:41:43 +0000 UTCRes-erections gonna be of the carnal crew
Shel B Kennas 1st fav sprite girl! Writing a nonsexual sonnet abt nature for the order of the oaken oar. it's not going well
2025-02-28 23:37:54 +0000 UTCMurph's lil guy voice going "I fucking hate you guys. You all suck" is hilarious. Also Jake's multiple nat 20 res-erections were bonkers!
Lauren Hartz
2025-02-28 23:12:00 +0000 UTCI need 100 more of these
Alien butt puppet
2025-02-28 22:51:12 +0000 UTChttps://www.tcgplayer.com/product/550806/magic-the-gathering-secret-lair-drop-series-brash-taunter?country=US&utm_campaign=18142757028&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_content=&utm_term=&adgroupid=&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiA2oW-BhC2ARIsADSIAWptzxg4tmnGCjmY4MxLYKi2rTG3lZRDH6zG-ahoaBT9LNDl6IusU1QaAnahEALw_wcB&Language=English
Timothy Daughtridge
2025-02-28 22:34:07 +0000 UTCMurph is cursed to always try to play a cute little guy that always deteriorates into an insane bloodthirsty tyrant 😂
Justin Cockrell
2025-02-28 22:11:27 +0000 UTCI fully missed that Jake rolled pathetically horny, so the whole time I was very confused on why he was so horny 🤣🤣🤣
Matt Crowther
2025-02-28 22:04:26 +0000 UTCi no joke thought we were adding minions from dispicible me to naddpod lore
Jaydon
2025-02-28 21:46:25 +0000 UTCI have SO many dishes to do thank you guys so much
Sam
2025-02-28 21:45:02 +0000 UTCI'm here for the snorts
kyler sergio
2025-02-28 21:33:21 +0000 UTCThis is an awesome, reusable concept. I’m here for it.
Ryan
2025-02-28 21:24:21 +0000 UTCNothing is better than Murph’s “little guy” voice
Shane C
2025-02-28 21:05:51 +0000 UTCI want random encounter random minions in Skaldova.
Krystine W.
2025-02-28 21:03:33 +0000 UTC“No deeces for us meeces” is an immediate banger quote
Cameron Baker
2025-02-28 20:59:41 +0000 UTCha ha mine is a Pathetically Horny Goblin. Feels right.
Brian Edwards
2025-02-28 20:59:02 +0000 UTCNo kobold smh
Cole Gensler
2025-02-28 20:52:03 +0000 UTCSo glad I’m not the only one that thought we were getting a Kevin Bob and Stuart 1 shot based off the title
AJ
2025-02-28 20:51:18 +0000 UTCI thought it would be Kevin
Jayden guerra
2025-02-28 20:44:52 +0000 UTCThis system is brilliant I’m about to unleash some truly bizarre little guys on my players
Margaret Zenke
2025-02-28 20:42:35 +0000 UTCHonestly thought by the title this was gonna be about THE Minions.
mail daddy
2025-02-28 20:40:59 +0000 UTCFUCKING HELL THIS IS BRILLIANT CHAOS ON PAPER I'm so glad I had a vasectomy and took an edible this morning just to get to listen to this
Declan Konesky
2025-02-28 20:40:42 +0000 UTCI always love these glimpses into the sweet blue hole that is the mind of our Duncle
jackalope503
2025-02-28 20:40:09 +0000 UTCJust started ep 3, and now looks like the rest of my night is booked out
Zack McCarville
2025-02-28 20:39:16 +0000 UTCJake told 0 lies when he teased this Mixed bag as "Caldwell...just caldwell. you're gonna like it"
Shel B Kennas 1st fav sprite girl! Writing a nonsexual sonnet abt nature for the order of the oaken oar. it's not going well
2025-02-28 20:39:11 +0000 UTCwhere the FUCK is the flying sword
surprise slug
2025-02-28 20:38:57 +0000 UTCFucking absolutely perfect timing for me who's been spending all week moving out of my childhood home with my mom cause my parents are getting divorced.
G_raveyard
2025-02-28 20:38:45 +0000 UTCSame, I'm on a 12 hour tonight and this is exactly what I need
YggieDM
2025-02-28 20:38:39 +0000 UTCMy work day has been non stop NADDPOD, this is so clutch
Jay Barber
2025-02-28 20:38:10 +0000 UTCoh. minions like grunts, not minions like lil yellow dudes. still goated 🫶🏻
Zo Perry
2025-02-28 20:38:06 +0000 UTCOh my god
crawdaddy
2025-02-28 20:37:41 +0000 UTCi have never clicked a naddpod notification this fast oh my god what fresh hell are we in for
Zo Perry
2025-02-28 20:37:34 +0000 UTCAn episode and a mixed bag? Best day of work ever
kasey newell
2025-02-28 20:37:31 +0000 UTCA new episode, short rest and mixed bag? You ensorcel us
YggieDM
2025-02-28 20:36:51 +0000 UTC
