The Tortle Tank: Homebrew Review! (w/ Jasper William Cartwright)
Added 2022-08-05 05:05:01 +0000 UTC
AD-FREE EPISODE FOR $5+ PATRONS!
Welcome to Tortle Tank, the show where four flippered financiers review your D&D homebrew and decide if they want to invest their hard-earned eggs. This week, the Tortles, as well as shellebrity guest Jasper William Cartwright (3 Black Halflings) take a look at crit-inducing coins, initiative hacks and one confusingly stealthy doll. Let's dive right in!
Production and Editing by Trevor Lyon
Listen and subscribe to 3 Black Halflings! - https://linktr.ee/TBHalflings
Whoever Nathan T. Who sent the gang Reingeist- I live in your area! Let's go to a live show someday
Austin Wiggin
2024-10-17 13:32:02 +0000 UTC
"He's lost in the tank" nearly killed me😂
Murf'nLurph
2024-04-09 18:39:16 +0000 UTC
This has the kind of energy I want to bring into the real world. There's a 50/50 shot I win the lottery if I play, and I love that. XD
NursingWounds
2024-02-01 15:35:28 +0000 UTC
When you think about it everything’s already a 50/50 chance because it either happens or it doesn’t so we should all just use coins.
Garrett Durham
2022-08-23 20:46:12 +0000 UTC
I feel like the throwing dice rule just came up when a bunch of players were rolling and one time a player hit another die, and it was ruled that it was allowed. But I think its only intended in cases where multiple people are rolling, as opposed to some sort of advantage or luck point where you decide to start chucking extra dice.
Daniel Anderson
2022-08-23 19:08:21 +0000 UTC
I'm a 5e DM, but I really love 2e. It is great for multi-classing and it offers so much customization.
Katie P.
2022-08-12 04:48:54 +0000 UTC
Uhhhh we have Rhinegeist in IL???? This changes everything
Nick Powell
2022-08-11 03:13:05 +0000 UTC
There’s something about the camaraderie pertaining to D20 truck nuts in these comments that makes me love this community.
Morgan Monroe
2022-08-10 19:50:31 +0000 UTC
I came here for this comment
Morgan Monroe
2022-08-10 19:48:27 +0000 UTC
Same.
Stephanie F
2022-08-09 19:07:34 +0000 UTC
From the shout outs… Rhinegeist is awesome. So glad it’s in IL now.
John The Third
2022-08-09 13:32:04 +0000 UTC
Bold of yall to assume that I won't put D20 truck nuts on my Honda civic
Zoe Jones
2022-08-09 12:26:19 +0000 UTC
It is 1 die and multiple dice. 😁
Jesse De La Rosa
2022-08-09 03:55:10 +0000 UTC
I don't know how to feel with Murph correctly guessing my age right with the truck nuts bit
Blue Ashe
2022-08-08 21:02:38 +0000 UTC
Anything with one or more Halflings in it is a good plus up for an ep! Love having jasper in this
Dylan Irish
2022-08-08 18:54:33 +0000 UTC
I want those truck nuts lol
Max Roniger
2022-08-08 04:25:25 +0000 UTC
I'm sorry but dice bocce is already being used. https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1818197062/bocce-dice-0
Emilia
2022-08-07 15:05:28 +0000 UTC
Damn I didnt put a turtle pun in my pitch.
Glenn Dowdle
2022-08-07 14:12:20 +0000 UTC
The future mavarus chronicles could really benefit from fuck points 👉
SoupLightning
2022-08-07 04:15:17 +0000 UTC
Man I completely underplayed Fleshy's role in the description. I gave him to the team Cleric because his heavy armor meant he kept failing stealth checks AND it made him question his own God as it was a "living" automaton, something he would view as heretical, and he was always fighting the juxtaposition of "devout follower" and "independent do gooder".
Kevin Wixom
2022-08-07 04:14:18 +0000 UTC
I've got a bright pink 94 F150 lwb 2wd. Understand completely.
Kevin Wixom
2022-08-07 04:11:13 +0000 UTC
There was such strong Billy Mayes OXYCLEAN energy from Murph that I think his next gig needs to be an infomercial. This was the try out.
“ONE IS NAMED APPLEKIN AND OTHER ONE IS NAMED ORANGEKIN” 😂😂😂😂
Marge In Charge
2022-08-07 02:07:52 +0000 UTC
Murph: "One.. ironic.. 19 year old."
Me: "Actually I'm 22"
Tyler Foster
2022-08-06 17:18:38 +0000 UTC
My slammed drift truck would love scraping truck duts
Josh Stadtmiller
2022-08-06 13:02:38 +0000 UTC
I need to learn to drive and get a truck now
Grass
2022-08-06 02:51:53 +0000 UTC
Fia had that tight Josh Allen spiral
Jorde
2022-08-06 02:39:10 +0000 UTC
I would buy D20 truck nuts almost immediately to put on my Toyota Matrix.
Tim
2022-08-05 23:14:32 +0000 UTC
100% would buy the D20 truck nuts for my DM 🤣
Lady Land Puma
2022-08-05 22:11:15 +0000 UTC
God help me I heard the call for fan art of a Bailiff Tortle with a big ass and handcuffs and I delivered.
Austin Johnson
2022-08-05 21:13:02 +0000 UTC
I miss our owl entrepreneurs, but i do love the new tank. maybe there's a compromise here. there are owl bears and dragon turtles--why not owl tortles?
Ilana Galpert
2022-08-05 20:52:39 +0000 UTC
Yeah! Bocce ball rules 😂
Marissa Bickford
2022-08-05 20:19:59 +0000 UTC
Absolutely living for this format! More plz 🙏 Great inspo. And also now I’m thinking of lizards with nipple tassels - but entirely no nipples 🤷
Marissa Bickford
2022-08-05 20:18:46 +0000 UTC
I love Emily's laughter of pure joy at the concept of yeeting dice at other dice.
Desiree K
2022-08-05 20:16:50 +0000 UTC
Right?! We Cinci-nadpoles need to get on pitching a live show here. (Also, welcome to town!) Rhinegeist's rooftop is gorgeous and I think it's out of season but Night Whale is such a Fia beer.
Plelk
2022-08-05 20:02:14 +0000 UTC
I like the B team idea, I was already planning on doing something like this in my campaign, inspired by a similar mechanic in Assassins Creed Brotherhood and Revelations
Neji
2022-08-05 19:36:26 +0000 UTC
I actually DID use the challenge coin! It's normally on my bookshelf where I record. However, when you live with a toddler things are rarely where you last left them. ~Caldwell
Not Another D&D Podcast
2022-08-05 19:32:03 +0000 UTC
I’m definitely the dice truck nuts kinda guy😂😂😂
Bryce Vernon
2022-08-05 19:27:37 +0000 UTC
Lol my first dnd character was a halfling bard and I drive a Ford f150 XL, 2 different Ford rangers, a Chevy S10, and a Dodge Dakota for my job. So I would buy at least one pair of truck d20 nuts!
Grace Bee
2022-08-05 18:33:03 +0000 UTC
My fave thing about Jasper is that he can be on either end of the Caldwell-Murph dichotomy. Like he absolutely has hardass no-nonsense DM-Murph energy but equally the Jasper/Caldwell combo is just *chefs kiss* 😂 I'd love to see a chaotic Jasper/Caldwell vs sibling energy Jake/Em one shot or something... Although Murph may need a complete nonsense detox afterward
atlasrising
2022-08-05 18:19:03 +0000 UTC
i think you guys should run seasons of this and then at the end each have to run a one shot implementing all of the home brew rules you’ve collected. or an all out brawl like the 8 bit book club monster mash and you use them like skills against each other LOL
Emily Kelly
2022-08-05 18:04:05 +0000 UTC
...what's wrong with metal dice?
Kyle Veach
2022-08-05 17:28:24 +0000 UTC
dont yall SELL a challenge coin?? why does no one have a coin!? 🤣🤣
Dallon Taylor
2022-08-05 17:24:26 +0000 UTC
I know that it’s readily evident if you’ve been within 10ft of Caldwell opening his mouth, but I love the self awareness of his insanity
Dan
2022-08-05 17:14:00 +0000 UTC
Alright alright alright. I love owlbear cave and I love that it is back, revamped, full of tortle references. I also love having Jake put his business side to use throwing jargons around in context to homebrew ideas and eggs. Tortle tank and Dungeon court are the perfect "D&D shows abou d&d that are super fun and don't need to be actual play".
Also Jasper works so well with the crew!
Nathann Morais
2022-08-05 17:07:44 +0000 UTC
You could try posting this question in the community feed—Caldwell responds to questions over there pretty regularly!
Ariel, the Occasional Mermaid
2022-08-05 16:38:52 +0000 UTC
Hearing them say “tordle” so much reminded me of this wordle joke I made a few months ago. https://tordlehost.github.io
Ben Delany
2022-08-05 15:59:34 +0000 UTC
So yea... might be stealing the truck nuts idea. I'm sure to give by word of mouth where the idea came from. ❤
Sand Panda
2022-08-05 15:44:00 +0000 UTC
I don't know if you all actually read these comments but I sent you all some stuff in the PO box a while ago and I don't care that much about the shout out but I am bit worried you didn't get it?
J. Marshall Smith
2022-08-05 15:07:32 +0000 UTC
I would find some way to put truck nut dice on my tiny corolla I need them
Mae B
2022-08-05 14:30:46 +0000 UTC
Currently saving for a truck and I would definitely buy some truck twenties
Wyatt
2022-08-05 13:21:53 +0000 UTC
#releasethepumpkincut
Ryan
2022-08-05 13:12:25 +0000 UTC
Jake absolutely killed the intro my god
Will
2022-08-05 12:54:25 +0000 UTC
More then one Emily and murf I'm 37 lol
Temedar
2022-08-05 12:14:01 +0000 UTC
I DIED when Murph screamed his tangent
Megan Ortiguerra-Rojas
2022-08-05 11:54:01 +0000 UTC
Caldwell's commitment to the bit even to the detriment of the pod... incredible
Chris Atkins
2022-08-05 11:15:39 +0000 UTC
I would totally have truck twenties if I had a truck. But I have a van 🥲
Declan Konesky
2022-08-05 11:08:20 +0000 UTC
Id like to point out the two crew or choo choo crew put out a deathsave coin, in the merch club, not long ago. Similar to the coin of certainty.
Evilbob02
2022-08-05 10:42:42 +0000 UTC
I personally love the group rolling tray idea, and will be suggesting it to my no chortle DM
Ben Jackson
2022-08-05 09:51:43 +0000 UTC
I just discovered the fun of playing with a slime and thought a Creek Water slime might tickle Emily's fancy
Sy Delta Parkertron
2022-08-05 09:06:56 +0000 UTC
Aw man the slime was me! I asked them to put a message for you in the package but I guess they didn't. Glad you like it!
Sy Delta Parkertron
2022-08-05 09:06:07 +0000 UTC
'The Pumpkin Chronicles' and 'The Pumpkin Guy' are basically Grib (Jacob Wysocki) in Zak Oyama's Rotating Heroes Podcast 😂
Robin Moran
2022-08-05 08:58:31 +0000 UTC
yooooo shout out to rhinegeist! i moved here recently and they got me into beer. cool to know fellow naddpod lovers work there :)
Summer Rose (Grantaire)
2022-08-05 08:31:06 +0000 UTC
I think about emily saying "your stupid, thunking metal dice" all the time from when murph tried to roll them on a starstruck odyssey
Aiyana
2022-08-05 06:36:31 +0000 UTC
the throwing your d20s at one another to change the roll and them talking about the utter chaos of rolling has beardsley energy/behavior written allllll over it
Aiyana
2022-08-05 06:32:58 +0000 UTC
I don’t even own a truck and I would absolutely buy a set of d20 truck nuts
Garrett Morrow
2022-08-05 06:29:06 +0000 UTC
I ran a Goliath Barbarian and fellow PC was a kobold rogue. We crafted a backpack for me to carry her around on my back like Master Blaster. She got sneak attack every attack every time
David Lipscomb
2022-08-05 05:55:51 +0000 UTC
Initiative grouping is used in baldurs gate 3 the game! Works really smoothly to speed up combat.
sawnnyM
2022-08-05 05:55:27 +0000 UTC
The metal really shows how stupid this will be, in a good but douchy way.
Figgy_Blue
2022-08-05 05:23:48 +0000 UTC
Yall gunna get lost in the tank again
preston packer
2022-08-05 05:20:31 +0000 UTC
So glad to witness the return of turdiss. Edit: I listened to this right before bed last night and my dreams were haunted by Emily chuck checking D20s in the background.
Kelley
2022-08-05 05:12:00 +0000 UTC
YAY! so excited to listen.
Hanna Wen
2022-08-05 05:07:56 +0000 UTC
jasper!
Rachel
2022-08-05 05:06:55 +0000 UTC
Literally was just checking Patreon for the new upload! Awesome! So stoked
Alex Moore
2022-08-05 05:06:11 +0000 UTC