endlessjess

Cobweb

Added 2024-12-19 19:52:44 +0000 UTC

Oh boy, I love dark ugly movies where i can't see anything. I love when the whole flick is based around a deformed monster lady that you never once get a good look at it. There truly is nothing better than a good old fashioned wasted premise.

I heard enough people saying they like this movie. Those people must also enjoy sticking their entire heads up a butthole because that's about the same viewing experience, except this movie smells worse. Do you understand what I'm telling you? This movie stinks like an asshole and it's three times as dark.

I can smoke a big doobie, turn off the lights, and visualize a scarier movie with my mind. I could project the spider-lady into real existence and fuck her with less effort than it takes to decipher what's happening onscreen in this picture.

You can't even call it a picture, because there is no picture! They forgot to film this film! Is it called cobweb because you don't see it until it's in your mouth? I'd rather eat a cobweb sandwich than watch this movie with ice cream and pizza.