Rollerball: The gay sport of the future
Added 2024-09-13 02:48:56 +0000 UTCIn the future, there won’t be any more shitty hockey games. Instead we’ll have yearly iterations of this clusterfuck, where people do flips on roller-skates while shooting dual pistols at each other like Drake of The 99 Dragons. Sadly, this game is not Drake of The 99 Dragons. That would be silly as hell and ironically cool. Rollerball isn’t ironically anything, it is sincerely mid.
Did I say mid, that was generous of me. I meant ass. Whatever fun there might be here is sabotaged by the 45 minute fucking tutorial that you absolutely do not need. Game mechanics are intuited through gameplay, if the game needs to explain itself, it has failed as a game. Why the fuck do developers keep doing this shit? Stop it. It makes me hate you, and turns my otherwise jubilant lets plays into a disgruntled thrashing of agony.
I’d rather suck cock and hitchike to a hockey game to catch a puck in the teeth than sit through a fucking tutorial in a cocksucking video game, that shit’s gay and lame. Me writing that sentence is the best thing about this game, and if they had a clue they’d put it on the box and pay me 300 dollars for it, which i would spend on sneakers cause roller-skates ain’t even cool.
