Meanwhile, in a better world, I finally get my big break. A call from the money mark himself Tony Khan. My career as a wrestler finally gets off the ground with the stupidest match possible, the Casino Battle Royal. A match that I do not and will never understand the rules of.
It doesn't matter if i win or lose, all that matters is I'm finally somewhere a man of my talents can make a decent living, provided i get enough promo time and my own trusted travel masseuse. I may be more buff than God but this old body's got some city miles on it. I have maybe a year at best to get over before my knees explode and my back breaks in half from carrying this company.
I just need to last long enough to put some savings away and finally get my revenge on my hated foe, Jungle Boy. I'll drag this old carcass through miles of broken glass and fire if it means I can drag Jack Perry's bitch ass to Hell with me.
Once he's dead I can rise again and retire, looking forward with renewed vigor and optimism, eager to start my next chapter in life as a healthy, wealthy, and free man, satisfied at having finally forced some justice into this world.
A man can dream. But first I have to get my ass kicked in this casino match I don't understand. That's called paying your dues, kid. Something a Hollywood nepo-baby like Jungle Cunt knows nothing about. Have I mentioned I hate that guy?