Tubi Tales: Mewes-a-thon

Snootchie bootchies, little nootchies. Jason Mewes has been a comedy hero of mine ever since i was 8, when an older cousin showed me Mallrats for the first time. I modeled my whole fuckin life after Jay, an absurd character that could never have been played by anyone else because he's really just a cartoonish exaggeration of a very real, very funny dude.

Despite being a camera-shy non-actor at the time of his casting in Clerks, he effortlessly steals every scene he's in, not just in that film but in all the Askew movies. He's the heart, soul, dick, and balls of Kev's entire filmography.

I love this man. Even when surrounded by big name actors and massively famous comedians, he's consistently the most charismatic and funny part of every flick he appears in. He's an unsung legend, and an American icon. In case it wasn't obvious, there is a lot of Jay in my comedy.

But despite this one-of-a-kind natural charisma, Jay's acting career outside the Kevin Smith umbrella has never really taken off. Most of his roles are in small indie movies that most people will never see. The only way to even be aware of these films is if you're the one guy on planet Earth actively searching for Jay Mewes movies. You are not that guy. But I am. I am that fucking guy.

I typed Jason Mewes into the Tubi search bar and put everything that came up on my list. Someone has to see these films, someone has to chronicle this furtive comedy god's career so future generations can appreciate his genius properly, and that sounds like a job for me. So strap your punk asses in because Mewes is in the hiz-ouse tonight. Snoogins.

Bitten (2008)

I could swear i wrote a review for this once years ago, but i guess i never posted it, and now i can't find it, so I'll just write a new one. Jay stars as a paramedic caught in a codependent relationship with a vampire. That sounds like the plot of a comedy, but it takes itself seriously as a horror/drama/bad romance.

I really like his character in this, he's very sympathetic as this decent, well-meaning guy trapped by love in a crap situation. You can see it taking a toll on him, being up all night cleaning up murder scenes and disposing bodies for his bloodthirsty bimbo. It's a solid dramatic performance informed by some of his own real life addiction problems.

This metaphor of addiction is the backbone of the movie, for both the protagonist addicted to his relationship, and the chick whose addiction is bloody tasty murder. It's on the nose, but effective. Definitely worth a watch.

K-11 (2012)

This is an LGBT prison movie, a genre i didn't know existed, and that i now hope to see more of. It's about a cissy white boy who randomly gets sent to a prison block full of the most hardcore Ls, Badass Gs, Scariest Bs, and most Terrifying Ts you've ever seen.

Jay plays a coked up inmate named Ben Shapiro, not to be confused with the real Ben Shapiro who happens to be a weird political internet loser, and definitely not cool enough to do drugs. He also bangs trans girls, which I'm sure the real Ben Shapiro wishes he could do but knows it would ruin his neo-con cred.

He's not the main character or anything, but he does get to punch out a prison guard, and the film is genuinely pretty kickass. There's a real tense and violent atmosphere with convincingly scary performances and dialogue. It's a dark, ugly, uncomfortable film that is in no way shape or form a comedy. I came to see Mewes and got confused cause the film itself was better than i expected.

The Watermen (2012)

Slasher flick reminiscent of something like Wolf Creek, but with scary hillbillies in boats instead of a scary hick in the outback. Not a terrible movie, but very by the numbers. If you've seen any Eli Roth movie, you've seen a more annoying but also more memorable version of this.

These kind of movies are all about a group of young, cool, and happy friends bumbling into a bad situation and getting killed to death. Jay is the most interesting one in the group, but he gets got halfway through. Beyond that point, eh. Who cares?

CarGo (2016)

This is an Asylum-made Cars ripoff that is both incredibly cheap looking and incredibly ass. Obviously it's complete dogshit, that goes without saying. Nobody was in danger of watching this. But I'm telling you that despite how dogshit it is, or perhaps because of how dogshit it is, you should totally watch this.

The animation isn't just bad, it's hilariously bad. The story isn't just dumb, it's insipid. The dialogue isn't just hokey, it straight up stinks. Most importantly, it's one of the only flicks here that gives Mewes a character ridiculous enough to play to his strengths. For a guy whose most famous role is essentially a live action loony tune, it's tragic how little voice work he's done.

In this Cars-esque society of cars Jay plays a delinquent car with an inexplicable blonde mohawk who convinces the protagonist car to skip car school and break car rules, and speaking of car rules, this car rules.

By the way, this is all done through song. Did i mention this is a musical? Because it is. A TERRIBLE one. Deliciously terrible. This is purely a matter of personal taste but Jay's little green car song is one of the funniest thing I've ever seen or heard in my entire life.

This shit gave me an out of body experience. Nothing in life could have ever prepared me for hearing that voice come out of that Dreamcast graphics looking car, spitting the worst bars ever conceived on the trashest beat ever created to another car about how school sucks and disobeying your dad is awesome. This is now one of my favorite scenes in the history of cinema.

Madness In The Method (2019)

This is Jason's directorial debut, so i was cautiously hyped for it because it would be a bummer if he beefed it, and for a first time director i think he did a pretty damn good job. He obviously has a ton of experience being around a director so I'd say he picked up a lot from Kevin Smith, but it's honestly much better directed than the last few Kevin Smith movies. There's a creative energy to Jay's directing that feels urgent and alive, like he's actually got something to prove, which is perfect for a script about exactly that.

This is an extremely meta dark comedy where Jay gets to play a version of himself slipping into insanity and becoming a serial killer, in a desperate bid to be taken seriously as an actor. Feeling typecast and missing out on the serious roles he wants, he mopes to his buddy Kevin Smith, also playing himself, who introduces him to a mysterious book on method acting, which does wonders for Jay's career, but slowly corrupts him.

I would describe this film as View Askew-adjacent, there's a lot of funny bits with series regulars interacting outside their typical roles in the Smith films. Brian O'Halloran plays Brian O'Halloran as even more of a weaselly cunt than he plays Dante as, and there's a great scene later in the movie with Jay and Kev having a big argument that shows some legit dramatic acting from both. The writing for this scene feels very legitimate as it goes deep into their real history as friends, and it's effectively emotional.

I always root for funny guys proving they can be serious, and i especially love seeing it from Jay because he's the last person anyone expects it from. He has a presence onscreen that can go deeper and far beyond pussy and weed jokes, and whenever he gets the chance to be serious he rocks it.

Despite going to some far out and unexpected places, the movie feels true to life in the sense that Mewes really is an underdog when it comes to being taken seriously. Delving into his indie roles reveals pretty clearly that he always gives a hundred percent, even when it's for something cheap and bogus that no one will ever see. As a silly funny man, he's already beloved by many, but i really think he deserves more respect. Dude's a good actor, and a promising director.

Not bad at all for his first time behind the camera, i hope he directs more. To anyone paying attention, Mewes has shown a subtle but undeniable growth as a performer over the years, and i have no doubt he'd evolve just as well in the director's chair. Personally i think Kev should let him direct the next Jay and Bob movie, and focus on writing, because his recent stuff has all had a very flat and uninspired look to it. Smith hasn't done any real directing since Tusk, and Jay has proven himself more than capable here.

In conclusion, check some of these out, you might be surprised by the Clit Commander's acting chops. Even in total dogshit like CarGo, he's great, and I've only scratched the surface. This is but the first chapter of what will be an ongoing quest for me.

There's a lot more obscure Jason Mewes movies out there, and i won't rest until I've seen, catalogued, and reviewed every damn one. This is a matter of great importance, I've decided. People need to know. So when I have my next Mewes-a-thon, you'll be the first to hear about it.

Nugga-nooch!