endlessjess

Groovy Tunes: Vaxis 2 Dawn oF The Spac e worm.

Added 2023-12-26 10:09:28 +0000 UTC

Merry Christmas, you horrible mutants. Here's a Groovy Tunes review that has nothing to do with Christmas. Its from a band i've avoided listening to since they first forced themselves on me in 2004, but someone thought it was important that i hear them again. Coheed and Cambria. Yuck. More like Blowheed and Cumbria. I used to hate this band because they just seemed like some kind of lame emo fart band. I still hate them but now i know they're actually a lame outer space emo fart band.

Look, ya wanna know my real opinion on this band? Want me to be brutally honest? Well, they're certainly no Emerson Lake and Palmer. They're no Nazareth. They're no ZZ Top. They're no Megadeth. They're no The Cult. They're no Danzig. That's just my opinion. Coheed and Cambria is none of those bands, so that's a pretty serious flaw if you ask me, and you did ask me, person who asked me. Pretty big knock against these dorks that they don't even have the decency to be Aqua or Eifel 65.

I mean i guess they sound okay for a band that isn't Powerman 5000, Or Screeching Weasel. Or Tori Amos. Or Shania Twain. Or Stryper. Or ya know, anything cool like that. I mean it's not like i hate it. It's not like it's terrible. It's not like finding a lump of coal in your stocking. Just a shame it had to be these fart sniffers and not something cool like Weezer, Santana, or Cher.

Or anything remotely interesting like that. Like any other band ever. But it's fine. I'll gladly review this fat-faced weirdo with the worst voice in the history of music, caterwauling about spaceships or something. So cool. Yay.

Coheed and Cambria crapped on my Christmas and it's your fault.