NMH3 Part ?: I eat a big brownie and die.

This is a very special episode about happens when you eat a massive magical brownie that your uncle gives you and try to record commentary on a video game. Apparently what happens is you crash into a bunch of trees, forget about doing commentary entirely, and eventually have to stop playing because the flashing screen and colorful graphics are sending you down a time-tunnel to Hell, and then you forget to play the game again for a literal year.

The big brownie in question wasn't actually a big square soft and gooey brownie like you're picturing, but a far more densely packed and far more disgusting round "brownie bomb", which if you're a cool idiot, you pop in your mouth-hole whole and taste every green milligram of brain-doom it contains. Which for the record was about 10 times a normal amount.

There's a longer version of this video where i make it very clear i'm eating that fucker right as i start, which i did just on the off chance that having it hit during the recording would be a funny nightmare. Well it was a nightmare alright, just not the funny kind.

The moment it hit i immediately lost all possible trains of thought and spaced out completely in a silent trance for about 10 straight minutes until the flashing screen effect of Travis' low health snapped me out of it by making my brain think it was under attack by the screaming void of Death itself.

At which point i turned the game off, and spent the rest of the night in the dark nauseously cuddling my cat, hoping she could purr the demons away. The next day i woke up feeling totally fine except that i had somehow completely forgot about No More Heroes 3 or ever finishing it. For no reason that i can explain, i dropped the game for a full calendar year, before picking it up again randomly, exactly 365 days later to the day. I'm not shitting you. I didn't plan that.

If you've ever assumed that the higher someone is the funnier they become, this video proves that is not true. The joke here is the attempt itself, and the absurdly anti-climactic backfiring of it all. That's the funny part and that's why i deemed it worthy to be edited into a video, despite being mostly comprised of some of my most inane commentary ever.

I went back and forth on whether or not to leave in me eating the thing at the beginning. Obviously some of the joke is lost without it, but i decided to spare you all the actual chewing sounds and moaning agony of me ingesting it, partly because it would have been against youtube's guidelines, but mostly because it's gross, so you're welcome.

As for me, I'm switching back to booze.