AEW Nasty Ugly Blood and Guts.

I am making this post on my phone while sitting and waiting with a bunch of fat ugly toads in a plasma center to get chained up in a torture bed and have my blood extracted by a guy with too many pokemon pins on his doctor coat, all so Morbius can live to have a sequel. I am sitting directly across from the most repugnant example of human failure I've seen yet today.

This gelatinous middle aged female in cut off jean shorts and pink tank top with a pink purse and bleach blonde ponytail poking out of her pink hat like she thinks she's still 20. But that was a long time ago.

Normally I wouldn't judge but she's got her fucking phone on speaker loudly conversing with some gross bastard child like anyone else wants to hear it, so fuck her, I hope she falls in a manhole like a cartoon and then she can tell her brat "this cave is creepy" like a ninja turtle in a video game goddamn super Nintendo im shitting myself I'm SHItTtiNG!

If you can imagine a more gruesome fate than my current situation, you're sick in the head. The guy sitting next to me is now singing along to All the Goddamn Small things by Blink 180 Fucking 2. I didn't even like this dumbass sugar fairy foo foo teeny bopper bullshit band even when it was cool. I was a kid of culture and preferred The Barenaked Ladies.

This other guy across from me looks like he's having some kind of war flashback. He's on the edge of his seat staring intensely at nothing like he's ready to leap into action should the taliban attack. I'd respect his psychotic heroism but the thing is he's got this giant fucking mole on his head and it's grossing me out.

If you think what I'm describing here is an unsettling, gruesome nightmare, and a grisly scene of horror, you're right. But it's just a prelude to the true horror show, and that is AEW Blood and Guts, where you'll witness bodies being mangled, flesh being lacerated, and worst of all Jungle Boy trying to look cool in a leather jacket. God, anything but that.