on the mend
Added 2022-01-23 20:44:44 +0000 UTCDear Patrons,
Thank you *so much* for your amazing messages since my last post. I’ll confess I’ve felt quite choked and overwhelmed reading them. Your words of encouragement and support really helped me tough out some raw moments these past weeks. And in recent days it’s felt like things might’ve turned a positive corner. I’m taking it very slow — no intention of running before I can walk, figuratively or literally.
The MRI scans [not for the squeamish]
My MRI scans explained everything. They revealed two damaged spinal discs — one slipped, one protruding. These discs were pressing hard on some major nerve systems, causing them to constantly fire. Sudden movements in particular — including coughing or laughing — would momentarily push the discs even harder onto these nerves, sending pain levels through the roof.
Things got a lot worse just after my last post here. Up until then sleep had at least provided some peace. But then sudden involuntary movements in my sleep started jolting me awake in explosive pain. In those first few bleary seconds of consciousness I would imagine I was in some kind of torture chamber. At its worst that was happening 15-20 times a night. But eventually the frequency died down. The last few nights have been completely clear. And the daytime surges of pain have started to recede. I’ve been able to walk and stand for progressively longer periods and started to lower my excessive pain meds.
‘Can I help?’
A couple of you kindly asked if there was anything you could do to help at this time. I came up blank trying to think of anything. One person said she’s been making a point of letting the adverts run on my videos to help out with ad revenue. So I guess if you felt similarly inclined whenever you happened to watch a video of mine, that would be a help. Of course, that’s if you can stomach the ads — I’ve commented before on the irony that the majority of ads funding my channel are from proselytising ideological groups.
Easing back into work
Starting to familiarise myself with the projects I’d been working on before all this. Two are nearing completion — music is ready and animation/scripts are both around 70% done. As I begin the process of catching up with my correspondence, reading the personal stories people have shared about abusive familial and ideological experiences, I feel my focus returning.
With my thanks and warm wishes to everyone for your support,
Link x
Comments
Do they have a treatment plan for you? Take your time, Link!
2023-01-05 09:09:42 +0000 UTCWhen I saw your first new video I was elated. Yourself and QualiaSoup were instrumental in my divestment from magical thinking. And even though I wasn't really a "believer" (I did have a hyperfixation on "The Secret" for a spell), I had grown up in a family that (while not really being devout) had choice things to say when I revealed I was an atheist. Gran didn't mince words when she said I was going to hell. Though at the time I couldn't really have epistemological conversations with them (or really even now) I could at least be internally stable recalling what I had learned when religious fallacies and unfalsifiable claims were bandied about. Now, 13 years later, I'm listening to the videos that don't focus so much on religion. I wish I had come back to them sooner when I was going through one of my many difficult times with the narcissists who would slink into my life, or going through painful periods regarding my uber narcissist father. Especially when he died suddenly and he wasn't around to attempt reconciliation or just help me one way or another find some resolution. I digress. I can't imagine what you've gone through and continue to experience. I'm honestly just learning about it now. I am deeply grateful for your past and current labor as well as your drive to continue your work. Thank you.
2022-11-19 18:43:20 +0000 UTCYour channel has been a massive help to me in recent years, I cannot thank you enough. Your videos have given me the kind of validation I've been needing for several years, and some videos especially hit just a little too close to home. I won't go into too much detail about my personal life, but I will say that it lines up all too well with what you describe (especially in the videos about double binds). Sometimes it lines so well, it's chilling to hear it said. Thank you.
2022-02-24 23:55:03 +0000 UTCReading your description of what you're going through has me in tears Link, not only because I respect and adore your work but also because I have gone through similar chronic pain/illness issues, right down to waking up in the middle of the night in a confused panic from the sudden pains. I wish there were words I could write that would help. It's a small consolation, but after I got my chronic illness under control, there is very little that intimidates me pain-wise. I hope recovery goes smoothly, much parasocial love to you <3
2022-02-19 00:14:52 +0000 UTCOuch. Long term pain really sucks. While I'm not in pain, I'm been badly dizzy for 2 years, and it all stacks up. So glad to read that you are starting to turn corner to recovery!
rolf redford
2022-02-18 16:53:24 +0000 UTCMy heart goes out to you. I’m more than willing to donate monthly if that will help your situation
ChillaDilla
2022-02-02 04:19:01 +0000 UTCI can say the same as in the previous comments; I hope you recover slowly but (mainly) surely! I also want to mention that your videos helped me (without exaggeration) to "master" a grown-up mindset in the last 2 years. Take care!
2022-01-28 19:57:43 +0000 UTCHuh, i was busy when i got the mail for the previous message and i ended up not reading it :/ I'm sorry to learn that you're suffering, i hope you get better soon. Don't push yourself, it's usually not a good thing to do.
2022-01-25 09:05:37 +0000 UTCOh no, I somehow missed your earlier post, this is terrible to hear, I'm so sorry! I'm glad to hear you managed to snag a few nights' rest recently and I hope that indicates you are indeed on an upward path. Please continue to go slow, and speaking just for myself, I'd rather you put Youtube away for good if it in any way jeopardizes your health. You would be dearly missed but you have already given far more than most people could wish to. All the long journeys your audience has taken with you and then with themselves afterward... that strength and compassion you've given will endure and you should be sure you put it toward your own well-being now. Please keep us posted but only if and as you can, and take care of yourself, Link. Sending strength and wishes for convalesence. <3
2022-01-25 00:35:18 +0000 UTCJust like another viewer said, no matter the break from YouTube is we will be ready to support you as well as many of your other viewers. I'm glad to hear things are starting to get better for you, and I hope things will get permanently better too. I know there aren't a whole lot of ways to support you right now, but I will definitely start watching ads throughout, plus, I wanna see my name at the end of your come back Video and there's one way to do that lol. Enjoy your peace while you have it, Friend, and always prioritize your own needs.
2022-01-24 18:01:37 +0000 UTCYou are not the only youtube creator to take a break. Every time a youtuber came back from a break, the audience was cheering them up. No matter how long the break was. And that's important. I insist that you take your time and I want to remind you that your audience will always support you :) If I could I would support you monthly not per video ^^
2022-01-24 15:12:54 +0000 UTCI am so glad to hear things are looking brighter. You are awesome. Take all the time you need to rest, we'll be there.
2022-01-24 12:21:34 +0000 UTCSo sorry to hear about this for the first time Link, I missed your December post and only saw it now as well. Why don't you change the membership to monthly subscriptions instead of per-video, so that we can ensure our contributions remain constant while you are recovering? Take your time and don't rush your comeback, it's like the oxygen masks on an aeroplane - you can only help others after helping yourself first. Take care mate, and do let us know if we can do anything to help.
Gerard
2022-01-24 09:30:52 +0000 UTCIt’s heartbreaking to hear that someone who is so overwhelmingly helpful is going through so much pain. I’ll raise my contribution level for now, not sure if that will help much, but every video has been worth more to me than what I can give back, so I’ll be here eagerly awaiting good news on your recovery and looking forward to seeing and sharing the next production whenever it’s ready. Stay strong! ❤️
2022-01-24 04:22:04 +0000 UTCGood to hear that things are looking up for you. All the best to you.
HurraWirLebenNoch
2022-01-24 02:24:05 +0000 UTCThat’s awesome news you are feeling better! I hope your situation continues to improve. Happy to double the donation amount given the large space if time you would have been making content. 🙂
EquilibriumTelevision
2022-01-23 23:17:26 +0000 UTCDear Link, while the condition of your spinal discs sounds horrible, I am so glad that there has been a clear diagnosis, that you are slowly getting better and that you are at least able to sleep again (I hope it's going to stay that way!). Please continue taking it easy... And no problem, I can stomach some proselytizing groups' nonsense. You're probably the last person they would want to get ad revenue (even if it's indirectly). 😉 So I can't think of a better purpose of watching that stuff. 🤭 Is there anything else we could do? Get well soon! But please know that we have patience. 🤗 Warm regards from Germany, Carolin
2022-01-23 22:42:06 +0000 UTCFor some reason it's a (slight) relief to hear that it's a "mechanical" thing, for lack of a better word. Hope there's a mechanical fix for it then, I wish you all the best!
2022-01-23 21:51:21 +0000 UTCAre you going to be getting surgery for that soon? I hope you're well-covered and I'd rather have 6-8 more weeks of inactivity than see you have to suffer while pushing through making another video.
Nachie
2022-01-23 21:22:23 +0000 UTC
