davidarmsby

Her name was Scarlet. (I'm taking another break)

Added 2021-07-22 23:32:56 +0000 UTC

Scarlet was my cat. You've all probably seen her once or twice as she's appeared in a lot of my "making of" videos.

I got Scarlet when I was 5 years old, and she lived for 20 years. I cannot remember a time in my life when she wasn't around. I was a very lonely home-schooled child and I'm still a pretty introverted, antisocial adult which has been hard at times, but this beautiful animal helped me through all of that.

Scarlet has been deteriorating for a couple of years but the past two weeks, in particular, have been almost completely unbearable. The worse she got, the more dependent on me she became and I've had to become her full-time caretaker for a while now.

I took her to be euthanised this morning. Deciding to finally end her suffering was irrefutably the correct thing to do and also the most heart-breaking thing I think I'll ever do in my lifetime.

She wasn't just a cat; she was my best friend for 20 years, my only friend for at least half of that time, and a quintessential part of who I am as a person.

I thought I could work through this period to distract myself but I cannot. I have really never felt grief and guilt and pain like this in my life.

Thank you all so much for your support.