Midnight Pals: Dad Zone

Stephen King: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the dead zone
King: it's about this all-american guy named johnny smith who's always telling corny jokes and just all round being a lovable goofball
King: in fact you might say
King: that he's in
King: the DAD zone

King: haha get it?
King: the DAD zone?
Barker: i don't get it
King: oh King: oh well see because he makes dad jokes and
Poe: don't start this, you absolutely do get it clive
Poe: he's just messing with you steve
Barker: ha ha yeah he's right, i did get it

King: like, here's an example of johnny smith's sense of humor
King: he's always teasing his girlfriend "hey you still snorting that wicked cocaine?"
King: haha that cocaine
King: that sweet sweet cocaine
King: that delicious 100% pure columbian gold
Poe: uh steve?
King: whitest of the white drugs

King: that sweet sweet cocaine
King: hmmm
Poe: steve?
King: hmmm
Poe: steve, you still with us?
Fitz James O'Brien: hey man someone here say they needed cocaine
Poe: get outta here, fitz!
Poe: you're not helping!

O'Brien: hey man i got all the cocaine you need right here
King: really?
O'Brien: man i got uppers and downers and things that will make you go sideways
King: is the cocaine fresh?
Poe: steve no!
O'Brien: hold on i'll check, yeah its fresh

King: no i gotta stay clean!
King: what would all-american boy johnny smith do at a time like this?
King: think, steve!

King: anyway johnny smith is real popular with the ladies because he's always making terrible, annoying jokes
King: you know how women love that
Barker: do they?
Barker: tabitha, you wanna weigh in on this
King: oh you don't need to ask tabitha about this
Tabitha King: i have nothing to say

Barker: how bout the rest of you ladies? how many of you like jokes?
Anne Rice: well, lestat has a very good sense of humor, in addition to being a genius polyglot and having a huge dong
Barker: okay sure
Rice: also one time he went to the moon
Barker: yeah okay sure
Rice: and also
Barker: moving on

Barker: what about you, mary?
Mary Shelley: nothing dries up a pussy faster than a man who tells jokes
Barker: oof harsh words!
Shelley: if percy told a joke, i would fucking kill him
Barker: ok fair
Barker: what about byron?
Shelley: no actually byron is pretty funny, i'd let him get away with it

King: anyway back to the dead zone
King: it's also about this evil politician who sees consequences after harming a child
Barker: oh i didn't know this was science fiction!
Shelley: HA!
Shelley: see, now THAT'S a joke
Shelley: i wouldn't fuck a guy for that joke but still

Barker: look steve that's a little far fetched
Barker: evil politician, i can see
Barker: harming a child, totally i buy that
Barker: but consequences?
Poe: that is a little out there
King: yeah well
King: it sure is with THAT attitude