Midnight Pals: On a Boat

JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i jussst wanted to sstop by to asssure you
Rowling: that i did NOT invite jeffrey epssstein to the world premiere of the monsterss of pottermania sstage sshow extravaganza ssupersshow sspectacular live from the acropolisss in sstereo where available

Rowling: i know there'ss rumorss i invited epssstein to the world premiere of harry potter and the magical bean
King: it was deathly hallows
Rowling:
Rowling: wass it?
Rowling: ssorry i can't keep all thiss potter sshit sstraight
Rowling: i'm really more of a cormorant sstrike gal these dayss

Rowling: anyway, ressst asssured that i did not invite him to ssee harry potter and the happy tree or whatever
King: deathly hallows
Rowling: whatever
Barker: hey i got a question
Rowling: no quesstionss
Barker: what about this email that says you DID invite him
Rowling: NO QUESSTIONSS

Rowling: look, i never had any contact with jeffrey epsstein
Rowling: my pedophile contactss are SSTRICTLY british
King: like prince andrew?
Rowling: yess exactly
Rowling: ssee, you undersstand
Rowling: very genteel

Rowling: so in conlussion nothing weird or sshady happened at all
Rowling: now if you'll excuse me i need to immediately go wipe 20 yearss of hisstory from my ssuperyacht visiting foreign ports of call and international waterss
Rowling: not for any reasson or anything
Rowling: jusst for funssies

Barker: hey i got a question about your super yacht
Rowling: no quesstionss
Barker: and this whole wiping 20 years of history about foreign ports of call and international waters
Rowling: I SSAID NO QUESSTIONSS

[on luxury superyacht]
Rowling: hey everyone how'ss it going
Rowling: don't mind me, jusst sshredding documentss
Rowling: you know how it is, they're just ssitting around, taking up sspace
Rowling: gotta do some sspring cleaning!
Rowling: ha ha ha